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I've lost my mind, so I sent my sanity to go find it. Neither have come back, so I told my common sense to locate them. So far, no word...
Becoming a Mod
Alright, so people who have known me for a while on this site will know that I am trying to become a Gaia mod. The thing is, now I'm starting to have second thoughts <span id="test33631367">. . .</span><br/><div id="post33631367" style="display:none; margin-right:75px;">

I've wanted to become a mod since I started the site back in 04. Of course, back then I was too young, so once I became 18 I applied. I was accepted my first time and started the training, but failed to make it past Forum Assistant due to stupid minor mistakes.

Now, I'm getting my second chance. In January I will be able to try again, I'm not sure where I'll be starting from [where I left off or from the very beginning] but I'm excited for it and I can't wait for another chance at becoming a mod.

Problem is, I don't know if I 100% want to be one any more. Becoming a mod... limits your freedom on Gaia. Where I used to be able to freely state my opinion on things in Site Feedback, I won't be able to any more because I'll have to try and be positive about everything. I'll be representing Gaia just like all the other staff do, negative things are a no no.

I've just quit several guilds because of this, I don't want people thinking I'm anti-gaia because I don't like Alchemy or because I played a big part of the big Heaven policing shenanigan [I freely admit it now and I have no regrets. That forum was under control under our rule, now look at it it's just like the GD, only no picture drops. We never forced people to follow our rules, we weren't mean and we didn't shun people out, all that was lies!] that was severely brought down. I guess... I'm just worried Gaia won't give me a break if I'm still part of these things.

It's like I'm loosing my free will. If I disagree with a feature, I can't complain in Site Feedback, I have to just man it up and lurk whilst secretly agreeing with others that share my same opinion. I mean sure, I won't have to deal with trolls because I can simply put the warning out on them or if they've been bad enough, maybe even the ban hammer, but what I gain in responsibility I loose in freedom of expression.

I don't know where I stand with it all any more, I really don't. I want to help keep the peace on Gaia, but I don't know if I'm willing to sacrifice my opinion and openness yet. I know there are several changes I'm going to have to make;

> Changing my profile to remove personal details and pictures
> Leaving some guilds
> Deleting most of my journal entries
> Changing my signature
> Hiding all trace of rebellion

to name a few. And what do I gain out of it? The power to stop the baddies and ban the wrongdoers, help Gaians with problems they may have, remove sexual and inappropriate content and more. People will respect me or resent me, all because my name will be green.

I'm probably thinking into this too much. Who knows, who knows...

Community Member
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