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Hikari's Thoughts. Stuff I write. Stuff you read.


Maji De Hikari
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I brought the world crumbling around me and I don't care
Lookie, what an emo title.
"The world is crumbling around me and all my existence every was a black nothingness that swallow and spat out anything getting close to it while my very soul was beating inside a hollow shell of a broken heart and I realized that it would never turn out okay."
THAT was emo. I'm not even feeling emo. I'm feeling that every one around me seriously has no idea who the heck I am or why but I kinda want to explain and if you read this whole thing it's your fault.

Weeeeeeeelllllp. Mom forced me into dance class at a young age and then there was like this whole group that I used to hang out with. The funny thing is, I was the outcast. Some one would be all like "Alright let's do this!" and every one would agree except for me so they'd do it without me. My first best friend moved away so I found another two at school. But one went to a different elementary (and changed so much in Middle School I didn't know her any more) and the other got held back. Didn't have any friends for the next couple of years and if I did we never talked. Couldn't make friends with my mom or dad because they were always busy or tired and wouldn't play with me. But then I met my friend KT and we were best friends until she cut herself and here's the reason why. Well, me and KT were like the best of friends but she never trusted me with any secret and I always had to cheer her up. When she cut herself it basically thrust into my face that I fail and I should just give up. It just didn't seem worth it any more to try to help her. And apparently, she wants me to help her and when I do something of my own thoughts, she completely bitches out on me. But in fourth grade I got Jessica and I was the only friend I think she had in fourth grade that didn't just want to talk about horses with her. This chick named Anna was there too but as soon as she moved the next year and came back after that, she hated me for no good reason and apparently did some 'things'... *cough* Shannon showed up after sixth grade and I never really liked her that much, I'll admit. And she's pissed at me for expressing my thoughts in a journal. I could've tried to stop her from reading it but what good would that do? She'd just read it anyway and hold it above her head so I couldn't reach. Now she's pissed at me for trying to make new friends with people she's never even talked to before. *sighs* When Rokku showed up I always had some one to talk to that never ignored me and some one to talk to that could actually keep conversation and some one to talk to that understood me. ((Yes we actually cloned Rokku)) I'm still very much in love with him but I can tell that it's time to move on and that he's never coming back. Frankly I can deal with that because love is overrated and what's the point of loving some one that doesn't even know what you look like?

Well yeah there's a crap load full of more but I ain't gonna type it. I'm hungry and I wanna finish this meme. Also, if you comment on this with anything negative and try to start me up on something, I'm just going to delete your comment. I don't freaking care if you want to accuse me for something that isn't true. I don't wanna deal with any more negativity.





 
 
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