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Music Artist: Poets of the Fall
Time: 1:20AM
Mood: Trance-y Calm

Things lately have been going downhill but right now I have never felt so...calm and at peace with things. I know that I probably shouldnt because of the crap that has broken loose around me with my close friends and those I consider family...I honestly dont know what I can do anymore; I'm just so tired of fighting for everyone that I care for. Its not fair, I've been fighting for all of them for months on end and they either havent done anything to help or they're barely doing anything for themselves, preferring for me to do things for them...I'm tired of it...I just want to lay down and sleep forever...I feel like they done understand that while it doesnt seem like it, I have things I have to deal with of my own, not just their crap. I have problems of my own but noone looks close enough to notice that maybe, just maybe, I need some help with my problems too...that I cant bear any more weight upon my back for them, that I'm getting close to breaking too...why dont they notice? Am I really just a tool for them to use at their every whim? I really dont know what I can do anymore...I cant turn my back on them, they mean too much to me...but is it really that horrible to want to hear someone say "thankyou" or to say "wow, do you need help with your problems?" I guess its just wishful thinking to hope for those words to come from someone else...I know I ususally seem unbreakable...but...I'm so close to breaking again...I dont know how much more weight I can hold up by myself...why wont anyone help me? Why are they all abandoning me and turning on those that would stay behind?

what you write
is kept in time
not only here
but also in my mind
those words you put
fly on brilliant wings
so never give up
on writing these things
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I look around with unseeing eyes
Always caring about who dies
I dont want to be alone
But all hope has flown
Away from my cries
And my unseeing eyes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey all!! just dropped in and felt like putting in a few more of my poems ^_^ Let me know what you think kay? oh and if you feel like using any of my poetry then please ask i dont like it when i find my poetry on random sites/pages with the people claiming to have written them...i'm not egotistical but i do like to have the credit for writing my poems...so with that covered let the poetry begin!


In a world unknown
It's something like my mind has sewn
Where dragons and pegasi spread their wings
Where the nymphs and faeries sing
And the castles well guarded
Towns are bobarded
And monsters are real
Their secrets now revealed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sparkle, shimmer
Gleam and glimmer
I reach up high
For the sky
Looking for my star
Found from afar
Never to be reached
It's silence never to be breached
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dark yet beautiful
Shadowed but bright
As if in an
Endless world of light
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My life is a sad story
Sad but not gorey
I want to be alone
Sitting on my thorny throne
I asked for help
I asked to be free
I asked for you to be gone
And leave me in my misery
But you never left my side
And held me while I cried
I pushed you away
But you were here to stay
I just want to say thank-you
But my life is through
I'm ready to die
But please dont cry
Because of me
So I can rest easily
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am love
I am hate
I am fear
I am fate
I am you
And you are me
We are together
So let us both be free
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dont you like the way I am?
Or do you think I'm some scam?
Why do you treat me this way
If you want me to stay.
I'm not some doll
So stop holding me and let me fall
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No I am not depressed. And no I'm not suicidal. These poems are things I've written in the past. I hope you enjoyed reading them.

~Shadow

hey all! i'm doing better than i was last time i posted so thats all good right? ^_^ anyways im suffering from poetry withdrawls (im other words i havent written poetry in such a long time that im going insane because of it lol) so im gonna attempt to write a few here, lemme know if they suck or not kay?

The love that i feel
is something i hope is real
the lust that i felt
is something that will melt
but what i feel for you when we are apart
is the harsh shattering of my heart
~~~~~~

What's the point
of being me
if all i am
is pain and misery
should i be myself?
is that what you want?
or should i wear pink
and should i flaunt?
i'd do it for you
because you love me
and i love you too
~~~~

i dont want to change
who you are
i just want to keep you
from going too far
i hope you can
understand how i feel
because everything here
is actually real
i dont want to let
you leave my heart
though i know that
its something i let start
i hope you can forgive me
for what i've done
because i love you
my sweet, my only one
~~~~~


okay...those kind of suck but hey, im outta practice. after all i havent written poetry since before christmas. well gotta go!

The rejection she felt when she read those words oh her computer than she would ever let anyone know...She says she's fine and acts like she's unaffected by those words, oh those words that hurt more than a thousand white-hot knives. She fights back the tears that threaten to fall even though she knows that he cant see her...Slowly, she shuts down her computer, her tears blinding her. Finally as she curls up in her chair the dams break, the tears begin to fall unchecked in a torrent ofsorrow...Her heartbreaking sobs echo throughout the house and yet, noone hears...noone care enough to get outta their beds to come and see whats wrong...She cries wishing that he were there to comfort her, that his words were just a cruel joke. It's Christmas Eve, a night to be happy and yet, there she is crying for her aching heart, for a love that she lost because of others...Finally her tears run dry as the clock strikes midnight, she lifts her head as the clock begins chiming the time...Not even bothering to dry tears, she exits her room unable to stay in there for another minute. she stands in front of the beautiful Christmas Tree with her arms wrapped around herself. Staring at the tree as the clock makes its last few chimes she whispers, "Happy Christmas to me..." And you know what? That girl was me....

Im trapped in a world...a world where i have no say of what i can do...or what i want to be...how can i survive when i cant do what i want and be friends with those i trust? why are people always telling me that i need to be with those who are perfect? whats wrong with my friends? why cant i be with them? i dont want to change for you anymore! i dont have a choice though...do i... why do i have to dress in this? whats wrong with what im wearing now? why arent you happy with who i am? why have you trapped me here? why wont you let me free? why wont you let me be me...

why try to be seen when no one will see you? whats the point of speaking if nobody will hear what you have to say? why should i see you if you refuse to see me? if i were to shout at you, you wouldnt hear...if you wont see then why should i shed a thousand tears? why do you pretend to care when you dont. why do you try to change me who i am when its you that needs to change. why bother to exist when no one cares....now i look to you....if i were to scream, would you hear me? if i were to break down crying would you see? if i......

Is it possible to hurt anymore than i already do? i feel like my soul is being ripped from me. like perople are stabbing me everywhere making my cuts run deeper and deeper into my soul with invisible knives. i feel as if the cause of my existance has turned its back on me, leaving me to sit here within the shadows...everytime i close my eyes i feel another part of me slipping away, out of my grasp. everytime my eyes are closed i feel myseilf slipping close to the release called death. i watch as everyone deserts me within my dreams not caring, not hearing my anguished screams. i feel helpless against the darkness which even now, had begun to slowly consume me, taking away all i have, locking my cage so i cant be free...i watch everyone smile as i begin to fade away from this world and wonder if anyone actually cared. it hurts to see them turn away from my pleas. so soon you'll all know that i cant stay, but instead im slowly slipping away....