Okay, here are my sophomore stories!!
I will be updating this from time to time as the year progreses.
Stay tuned!
--+--
The first three days of school were all about the houses of my school.
It is a lot like Harry Potter because we earn ad lose points.
Well, we were trying to decide a sophomore representative of my house.
My house director says, "Okay, who wants to vote for Jake?"
Then someone says out loud, "Who's Jake?"
My friend Deanna and I started LAUGHING so hard!!
As sophomores, my friends and I like picking on the freshman.
Of course, this is only the freshman we don't like.
We came up with nicknames for each of the four grades.
Because we hate the freshman, we call them ********.
Here are the rest we came up with.
Freshman = ********
Sophomore = Shitheads (w00t! I'm a s**t head!)
Junior = Jackasses
Seniors = Smartasses
This is more of a personal rant than a funny story.
Last year, a guy named Dylan told me his friend Aaron liked me.
(Dylan told me this right in front of Aaron as well.)
So this year, I just so happen to have two classes with Aaron.
And my locker is right next to him.
AND I sit next to him in both classes thanks to the alphabetical seating chart.
I think karma is being a b***h to me.
My friend Olivia had this cookies and creame coffee in the morning one day.
I have a thing for taking people's food or drinks. xD
So I started drinking it.
The coffee made me really hyper.
So my friend Chris and I have this friends-hate thing going on.
We just have an ability for pissing each other off.
(Which I think is why we are friends.)
So, anyway, he was trying to do his homework so I kept annoying him and smacking him around.
He finds out that I was drinking Olivia's coffee and yells out, "Ew! You're sharing spit!"
So I planned on spitting on him after he said that.
I got up and started to chase after him.
When he was backing up, he tripped over all the backpacks behind him,
and accidentally hit Olivia in the face!!
While I was laughing hysterically, he grabbed me.
Now, I have a thing where I don't want him to touch me.
So while I punched him to get away from me.
Then when I tried to kick him, he grabbed my foot and tried to make me fall.
I prevented this by grabbing onto him.
God, it does wonders what coffee does to you...
I have the crappiest locker this year.
I tried opening mine up but it was jammed.
Beth and Lindsey had to open it up for me.
When I was struggling to open my locker, I let out a long stream of cuss words.
I swear, I have the most verbal and offensive language EVER.
In English class, we had to play this game.
Someone had to begin to tell the story of Dracula by Bram Stoker.
If that person ever forgot to say something, somone would correct them and take their place to contniue the story.
By far, the most amusing version of the story was from Aaron.
When he got to the part about Lucy's coffin being opened during the day, my friend Ana shouted out,
"And she was pweetty!!"
Ana and I started laughing hysterically at that.
Then we went to go take our pictures for the yearbook.
When we came back, Nick Tommisetti and Aaron often changed places in telling the story.
When Aaron was telling more of the story, Ana yells out, "You're just pulling that out of your a**!!"
Everyone except for me turns around to look at her.
It was the funniest thing ever!!
In English class, Ana came up to me and said, "Hey, are you willing to consider being a male stripper?"
My teacher overheard her and says, "Well, I don't need to be one because I am a professional."
This completely grossed Ana and me out.
Then when coming back from yearbook pictures, Ana and I saw our awesome English teacher from last year.
We hugged her and Ana asked her, "Mrs. Hilliard? Did you ever know that Mr. Vallois (our current teacher) is a professional stripper?"
She says, "Oh yeah, trust me, I knew."
Then Mr. Vallois answers, "Yeah, she knows. She has a pair of my underwear with my autograph on them!!"
He said it right in the middle of our class, and so loud that EVERYONE heard.
That was so disgusting and hilairous!!
Okay, I brought one of those nice smelling body sprays from Victoria Secret to school.
During last period, Jennifer and I were having fun messing around with it.
Jenn took the spray and put it to Michael form behind.
She sprayed it and IT WENT INSIDE HIS MOUTH.
I started laughing so hard!!!
Then at the end of class, Jenn took it again and sprayed Michael with it twice.
xDDDD
He smelled all nice and fruity afterwards.
Now his newest nickname is "fruitcake".
Marie was commening on my school house (Notre Dame) and Paula's (DePaul).
She said that our banner were ugly.
The first words that came out of my mouth was,
"Well, they aren't as ugly as YOU."
She got so upset as Paula, my friend Sean, and I were laughing hysterically.
MARIE WAS OWNED!!!!!!!!
At lunch, my friend Juliana wanted Kyle to eat her Hostess cake thing.
When he wouldn't, she yelled out, "if you're not going to eat my ding-dong, then give it to me!!!"
Hilary and I started laughing so hard.
And I really do mean hard!!
I was laughing so hard that I was nearly in tears and my stomach was hurting!!!
Okay, at lunchtime, my friends and I had a food fight!
We were wearing these Oxford shirts and we left the top two buttons unbottuned.
So we all tried to get food down each other's shirts!!
I always steal Hilary's food.
So oneday she says to me, "No! Don't eat my food!
If you do, then I will eat you! And it WON'T be funny!!!"
In my Human Physiology class, my friend Sara accidentally spilled her water all over her desk.
I started laughing really hard because when she was cleaning it up, I said it was like she peed on the desk!!
xDDD
Then when we were going over the parts of a microscope,
Sara yelled out that the eyepiece was an eyeball and the stage was a plate!!
So at the beginning of last period, I had an unopened wrapper of poptarts.
My friend Jenn steals it and put the corner of it in her mouth (with the wrapper still on).
So I jumped up, grabbed the other end of the package, and started hitting her on the head.
I was yelling out, "GIVE ME BACK MY POPTARTS!!!"
Finally, I did get them back.
Then I starte dlaughing because it reminded me when I always try to get my puppy to let go of something!!
My friend Jennifer and I enjoy creeping out Michael during last period.
So we would always talk about stuff that is orgasmic (xD), puberty, and a lot more disgusting stuff.
So now, we would always take a red pen and put dots on his sweatshirt!!
On my friend's birthday, she got all of this stuff.
Among them was a giant stuffed cow.
Ana's friend Jeremy steals the cow from her during lunch and begins violating it.
xD
So now, because of him, the cow is no longer a virgin!!
In English class, we have this assignment to write a paper.
It was about an explanation what classroom items would be called in the future and stuff like that.
One of the rules in writing this paper is that we have to use irregular verbs. (I goed to the store.)
So everyone (especially in the back of the room where I was sitting) started laughed when someone said, "comed."
If you have a sick mind, then you would understand.
(It basically is the word "come" with an added -ed.)
Get it?
It is the same pronunciation of "cummed." xD
Aaron even asked our teacher regarding comed.
I was trying so hard not to laugh.
When my friend saw me laughing, she started laughing as well.
xDDDDD
My friend Sean owed my sushi for a while.
So finally, he brought it to school in the morning.
I ate it with Ana in the two story building. (It was soooo good.)
Before I could throw the tray away, she picked up the huge chunk of wasabe from it.
Now, wasabe is super, super hot.
Ana and I went over to our other friends and declared that Ana wanted to eat the entire chunk of wasabe.
SHE ACTUALLY STUFFED ALL OF IT IN HER MOUTH AND ATE IT.
When she did, she choaked and ran over to the nearby water fountain.
Her mouth was litterally on fire!!
xD
Ana happens to be a really random person, and she has a crush on Ryan too.
So when Ryan was almost out of the courtyard, Ana randomly runs up behind him,
wraps her arms around him and pulls him down!
They both fall, with Ryan and his heavy backpack landing on her.
After that, she just called him a fat a**!
Ana likes college football.
Her favorite team are the UT Longhorns.
So, Aaron has taken it upon himself to tell her that UT sucks whenever he can.
During English class, once, Ana crumples up a piece of paper and throws it to me.
The note said, "Tell Chris and Aaron to take Valois' d**k and shove it up their asses. GO LONGHORNS!"
I when i read it, I couldn't stop laughing at all.
I must have laughed for five minutes before trying to tell Aaron.
Each time I tried, I burst into laughs.
Finally, I just gave him the note to read.
After a couple minutes, Aaron crumpled up the paper and handed it to me.
He had reversed the note to say that Ana should take Valois' d**k and shove rit up her a** and to suck longhorns.
xDDD
In my psychology class, I have a lot of seniors in my class.
Food is not allowed in class so my teacher yells at one of the seniors to put the food away.
His answer was, "I don't have any food and I'm not eating any!"
And right after he said that, he put a bag of candy in his backpack and slipped one in his mouth. xD
One time, I told Hilary at lunch that my sister's boyfriend was trying to grow out his hair so he could be Harry Potter for Halloween.
She started laughing so hard.
So she said, "What if Harry Potter was Chinese?!"
Laughter from me.
"And Ron could be black!!"
Harder laughter from me.
"Hermione could be a sexy mexican!!"
I was crying with laughter by now.
"Dumbledore is going to be a sexy model! And Snape will be a pervert!!"
Then she put on a sinister/perverted voice and said, "Hello Hermione Roderiguez."
Then she said, "Por que?"
So now, Hilary has remade the entire Harry Potter series to be "Harry Chong and the Samurai's Fortune".
One morning, Sarah and I were waiting for Hilary to finish up getting her books from her locker.
Hilary had a picture on the ground of her favorite anime.
Sarah said that the characters in the picture were scary so she lifted her foot and tried to step on it.
Hilary grabbed the picture out of reach.
But then Sarah's foot got stuck in Hilary's backpack's straps.
She tried to get her foot free and fell on her a** instead!!
Hilary and I started laughing so hard!!
We didn't even help her up or anything!
We just kept laughing even after our math teacher from last year walked past us and gave us a weird look!
One night, I had a dream and my friend Juliana was in it.
In the dream, I was sitting in class when all of a sudden, this bug was on the wall next to me.
I screamed and ran away from it.
Juliana then said, "Oh! I know this bug!! It's this kind! If you kiss it, it gives you good luck!"
Then it started running along the wall.
The guys jumped up to kill it, but then Juliana jumps up and screams, "Wait! Let me kiss it for good luck before you kill it!!"
We were reading Shakespeare's "Tradegy of Julius Caesar" in English class.
At one point, Caesar read by Chris Garcia says the line, "Come my right hand!"
Everyone started laughing hysterically at that point!
(If you don't get it, nevermind.)
At lunch one day, Hilary, Juliana and I were talking to each other.
We were discussing about how it feels weird when your phone is on vibrate and someone calls you when it is in your back pocket or your bra or between your legs...
So then I said that the cell phone on vibrate between your legs was like a d***o!
So, our new slogan now is: Cell phones, the new d***o.
I will be updating this from time to time as the year progreses.
Stay tuned!
--+--
The first three days of school were all about the houses of my school.
It is a lot like Harry Potter because we earn ad lose points.
Well, we were trying to decide a sophomore representative of my house.
My house director says, "Okay, who wants to vote for Jake?"
Then someone says out loud, "Who's Jake?"
My friend Deanna and I started LAUGHING so hard!!
As sophomores, my friends and I like picking on the freshman.
Of course, this is only the freshman we don't like.
We came up with nicknames for each of the four grades.
Because we hate the freshman, we call them ********.
Here are the rest we came up with.
Freshman = ********
Sophomore = Shitheads (w00t! I'm a s**t head!)
Junior = Jackasses
Seniors = Smartasses
This is more of a personal rant than a funny story.
Last year, a guy named Dylan told me his friend Aaron liked me.
(Dylan told me this right in front of Aaron as well.)
So this year, I just so happen to have two classes with Aaron.
And my locker is right next to him.
AND I sit next to him in both classes thanks to the alphabetical seating chart.
I think karma is being a b***h to me.
My friend Olivia had this cookies and creame coffee in the morning one day.
I have a thing for taking people's food or drinks. xD
So I started drinking it.
The coffee made me really hyper.
So my friend Chris and I have this friends-hate thing going on.
We just have an ability for pissing each other off.
(Which I think is why we are friends.)
So, anyway, he was trying to do his homework so I kept annoying him and smacking him around.
He finds out that I was drinking Olivia's coffee and yells out, "Ew! You're sharing spit!"
So I planned on spitting on him after he said that.
I got up and started to chase after him.
When he was backing up, he tripped over all the backpacks behind him,
and accidentally hit Olivia in the face!!
While I was laughing hysterically, he grabbed me.
Now, I have a thing where I don't want him to touch me.
So while I punched him to get away from me.
Then when I tried to kick him, he grabbed my foot and tried to make me fall.
I prevented this by grabbing onto him.
God, it does wonders what coffee does to you...
I have the crappiest locker this year.
I tried opening mine up but it was jammed.
Beth and Lindsey had to open it up for me.
When I was struggling to open my locker, I let out a long stream of cuss words.
I swear, I have the most verbal and offensive language EVER.
In English class, we had to play this game.
Someone had to begin to tell the story of Dracula by Bram Stoker.
If that person ever forgot to say something, somone would correct them and take their place to contniue the story.
By far, the most amusing version of the story was from Aaron.
When he got to the part about Lucy's coffin being opened during the day, my friend Ana shouted out,
"And she was pweetty!!"
Ana and I started laughing hysterically at that.
Then we went to go take our pictures for the yearbook.
When we came back, Nick Tommisetti and Aaron often changed places in telling the story.
When Aaron was telling more of the story, Ana yells out, "You're just pulling that out of your a**!!"
Everyone except for me turns around to look at her.
It was the funniest thing ever!!
In English class, Ana came up to me and said, "Hey, are you willing to consider being a male stripper?"
My teacher overheard her and says, "Well, I don't need to be one because I am a professional."
This completely grossed Ana and me out.
Then when coming back from yearbook pictures, Ana and I saw our awesome English teacher from last year.
We hugged her and Ana asked her, "Mrs. Hilliard? Did you ever know that Mr. Vallois (our current teacher) is a professional stripper?"
She says, "Oh yeah, trust me, I knew."
Then Mr. Vallois answers, "Yeah, she knows. She has a pair of my underwear with my autograph on them!!"
He said it right in the middle of our class, and so loud that EVERYONE heard.
That was so disgusting and hilairous!!
Okay, I brought one of those nice smelling body sprays from Victoria Secret to school.
During last period, Jennifer and I were having fun messing around with it.
Jenn took the spray and put it to Michael form behind.
She sprayed it and IT WENT INSIDE HIS MOUTH.
I started laughing so hard!!!
Then at the end of class, Jenn took it again and sprayed Michael with it twice.
xDDDD
He smelled all nice and fruity afterwards.
Now his newest nickname is "fruitcake".
Marie was commening on my school house (Notre Dame) and Paula's (DePaul).
She said that our banner were ugly.
The first words that came out of my mouth was,
"Well, they aren't as ugly as YOU."
She got so upset as Paula, my friend Sean, and I were laughing hysterically.
MARIE WAS OWNED!!!!!!!!
At lunch, my friend Juliana wanted Kyle to eat her Hostess cake thing.
When he wouldn't, she yelled out, "if you're not going to eat my ding-dong, then give it to me!!!"
Hilary and I started laughing so hard.
And I really do mean hard!!
I was laughing so hard that I was nearly in tears and my stomach was hurting!!!
Okay, at lunchtime, my friends and I had a food fight!
We were wearing these Oxford shirts and we left the top two buttons unbottuned.
So we all tried to get food down each other's shirts!!
I always steal Hilary's food.
So oneday she says to me, "No! Don't eat my food!
If you do, then I will eat you! And it WON'T be funny!!!"
In my Human Physiology class, my friend Sara accidentally spilled her water all over her desk.
I started laughing really hard because when she was cleaning it up, I said it was like she peed on the desk!!
xDDD
Then when we were going over the parts of a microscope,
Sara yelled out that the eyepiece was an eyeball and the stage was a plate!!
So at the beginning of last period, I had an unopened wrapper of poptarts.
My friend Jenn steals it and put the corner of it in her mouth (with the wrapper still on).
So I jumped up, grabbed the other end of the package, and started hitting her on the head.
I was yelling out, "GIVE ME BACK MY POPTARTS!!!"
Finally, I did get them back.
Then I starte dlaughing because it reminded me when I always try to get my puppy to let go of something!!
My friend Jennifer and I enjoy creeping out Michael during last period.
So we would always talk about stuff that is orgasmic (xD), puberty, and a lot more disgusting stuff.
So now, we would always take a red pen and put dots on his sweatshirt!!
On my friend's birthday, she got all of this stuff.
Among them was a giant stuffed cow.
Ana's friend Jeremy steals the cow from her during lunch and begins violating it.
xD
So now, because of him, the cow is no longer a virgin!!
In English class, we have this assignment to write a paper.
It was about an explanation what classroom items would be called in the future and stuff like that.
One of the rules in writing this paper is that we have to use irregular verbs. (I goed to the store.)
So everyone (especially in the back of the room where I was sitting) started laughed when someone said, "comed."
If you have a sick mind, then you would understand.
(It basically is the word "come" with an added -ed.)
Get it?
It is the same pronunciation of "cummed." xD
Aaron even asked our teacher regarding comed.
I was trying so hard not to laugh.
When my friend saw me laughing, she started laughing as well.
xDDDDD
My friend Sean owed my sushi for a while.
So finally, he brought it to school in the morning.
I ate it with Ana in the two story building. (It was soooo good.)
Before I could throw the tray away, she picked up the huge chunk of wasabe from it.
Now, wasabe is super, super hot.
Ana and I went over to our other friends and declared that Ana wanted to eat the entire chunk of wasabe.
SHE ACTUALLY STUFFED ALL OF IT IN HER MOUTH AND ATE IT.
When she did, she choaked and ran over to the nearby water fountain.
Her mouth was litterally on fire!!
xD
Ana happens to be a really random person, and she has a crush on Ryan too.
So when Ryan was almost out of the courtyard, Ana randomly runs up behind him,
wraps her arms around him and pulls him down!
They both fall, with Ryan and his heavy backpack landing on her.
After that, she just called him a fat a**!
Ana likes college football.
Her favorite team are the UT Longhorns.
So, Aaron has taken it upon himself to tell her that UT sucks whenever he can.
During English class, once, Ana crumples up a piece of paper and throws it to me.
The note said, "Tell Chris and Aaron to take Valois' d**k and shove it up their asses. GO LONGHORNS!"
I when i read it, I couldn't stop laughing at all.
I must have laughed for five minutes before trying to tell Aaron.
Each time I tried, I burst into laughs.
Finally, I just gave him the note to read.
After a couple minutes, Aaron crumpled up the paper and handed it to me.
He had reversed the note to say that Ana should take Valois' d**k and shove rit up her a** and to suck longhorns.
xDDD
In my psychology class, I have a lot of seniors in my class.
Food is not allowed in class so my teacher yells at one of the seniors to put the food away.
His answer was, "I don't have any food and I'm not eating any!"
And right after he said that, he put a bag of candy in his backpack and slipped one in his mouth. xD
One time, I told Hilary at lunch that my sister's boyfriend was trying to grow out his hair so he could be Harry Potter for Halloween.
She started laughing so hard.
So she said, "What if Harry Potter was Chinese?!"
Laughter from me.
"And Ron could be black!!"
Harder laughter from me.
"Hermione could be a sexy mexican!!"
I was crying with laughter by now.
"Dumbledore is going to be a sexy model! And Snape will be a pervert!!"
Then she put on a sinister/perverted voice and said, "Hello Hermione Roderiguez."
Then she said, "Por que?"
So now, Hilary has remade the entire Harry Potter series to be "Harry Chong and the Samurai's Fortune".
One morning, Sarah and I were waiting for Hilary to finish up getting her books from her locker.
Hilary had a picture on the ground of her favorite anime.
Sarah said that the characters in the picture were scary so she lifted her foot and tried to step on it.
Hilary grabbed the picture out of reach.
But then Sarah's foot got stuck in Hilary's backpack's straps.
She tried to get her foot free and fell on her a** instead!!
Hilary and I started laughing so hard!!
We didn't even help her up or anything!
We just kept laughing even after our math teacher from last year walked past us and gave us a weird look!
One night, I had a dream and my friend Juliana was in it.
In the dream, I was sitting in class when all of a sudden, this bug was on the wall next to me.
I screamed and ran away from it.
Juliana then said, "Oh! I know this bug!! It's this kind! If you kiss it, it gives you good luck!"
Then it started running along the wall.
The guys jumped up to kill it, but then Juliana jumps up and screams, "Wait! Let me kiss it for good luck before you kill it!!"
We were reading Shakespeare's "Tradegy of Julius Caesar" in English class.
At one point, Caesar read by Chris Garcia says the line, "Come my right hand!"
Everyone started laughing hysterically at that point!
(If you don't get it, nevermind.)
At lunch one day, Hilary, Juliana and I were talking to each other.
We were discussing about how it feels weird when your phone is on vibrate and someone calls you when it is in your back pocket or your bra or between your legs...
So then I said that the cell phone on vibrate between your legs was like a d***o!
So, our new slogan now is: Cell phones, the new d***o.
sometimes, they leave small hints that turn out to be very valuable.
