Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Subscribe to this Journal
I am my own entity The musings and rants of a cutesy girl with thoughts unexpressible anywhere but here.


-sabishii.tenshi-
Community Member
avatar
2 comments
Everything is happening now and nothing is going right
Maybe I should just list this all, instead of giving you a full-fledged rant.

-I have pneumonia.
-My older sister, who I've looked up to my entire life, is turning athiest.
-My twin sister, who used to be smart if cynical, has tried too hard to become outgoing and everyone hates her-to the point that she might get transferred to a different school.
-Said twin used to be my best friend in the entire world, who I stuck by and she stuck by me no matter who hated us, but when she started trying to get "up there", she ditched me and doesn't even realize why I hate her now.
-Because I don't start crying when she starts "spilling out her soul" to me, she calls me a b***h every hour, throws tantrums, hits all my weakest spots (not the least of which include "YOU'RE NOT HUMAN!" wink , mouths off to everyone in my family just because we're around, and constantly complains that she can't spend half our $$ every weekend like 'normal people' and blames it on being in an Asian family.
-Not a single one of my friends I can confide to. At all.
-My grades are dropping.
-My closest grandma, who took care of my whole family for the past 12 years, is getting knee surgery soon.
-My pet turtle is probably going to die from the cold.
Everyone I've ever looked up to is disappointing me, and I don't see any reason at all to hope.

Wow. This is the first time I've listed this anywhere besides my mind.
Because let's just put it this way: if I ever told anyone how I feel without being nagged for an hour, it means I'm literally on the verge of suicide.





1 comments
No More Words (describes it best)
what can I tell you?
only being such a small self
I won't tell you more now
because the words are so
weak against time




-sabishii.tenshi-
Community Member
dev1



-sabishii.tenshi-
Community Member
avatar
2 comments
One question to anyone out there.
Is there still loneliness in heaven?




0 comments
I've been having fun pretending my to-be comic is an anime.
I've decided on several songs for it! whee Didn't write them, sadly (nah, I'm too lazy for that^^), but they definitely match up well.

Theme Song - Painless by Mae
Ending Theme - The Ocean by Mae

Not exactly hopeful like typical anime songs, but angst matches better. ^.^

Other songs that would come in at different scenes, each one for specific characters again. 3nodding

Another Josh Song - This is the Countdown by Mae
A Terra Song - Children by Robert Miles
^It has lyrics, but I don't really like them, so if you actually want to listen to it for the experience^^, go for the 'Full Length Mix' or 'Radio Edit' versions.


I know, too many Mae songs ^^', but lately they're all I've been listening to, so y'all just have to deal. blaugh Buenas noches!




-sabishii.tenshi-
Community Member
dev1



-sabishii.tenshi-
Community Member
avatar
2 comments
Caela's Song - The Sundial

Its when you want to cry but the tears won't make themselves be known
Because every time you fall, you become a little more alone
Instead of fading away, make yourself come back with permanence
You can't depend on getting saved

But it's a chain that I hang onto to survive
Still, I won't let go and give in...

Chorus:
Sometimes I wonder if its okay to get used to this?
Sometimes it takes new love to make you let go of what's happened
But if it I released the past, would it mean letting go of life?

You looked at me and said you saw something beautiful
But I'm sorry, I can only tell you
If you want to learn to be less alone, you should go somewhere else...

I want to have faith that my heart is real
The instant I let go, I know I'll fall farther than ever
The destitution that I infinitely hide
Only makes me bitter as the sundial lightens and shades again
Maybe its a little harder to breathe than before

Chorus

Its when you want to love, and you find that what you have now is true...
Its when you finally learn to say good-bye


I still have 3 songs left to write. o.0;;




4 comments
Joshua's Song - Fire Trying to Rise
Flames lick away at the ground
The embers burn brightly, slowly turning my doubts to ash
But it�s a temporary thing that I know I should live without
The frustration I burn away today will just haunt me tomorrow instead

Every time I try, I just fall back into despair, a little weaker than before
The heat and friction tensely builds in my veins, wanting to break out
As I look for a purpose to live on another day

Chorus:
Sometimes it seems like hanging on will only bring me to destruction
The tide rolls harder still at me as I try to fight back with flames
But the bridge between me and others isn�t as long as it once appeared
Can I even see you at the end?

The friendship and trust that I long to have requited
Continually dances around my head
like the light on a new fire trying to rise
Sometimes it blinds me and tears my soul in two

Bridge:
Even as time rolls on without a pausing glance
My heart doesn�t want to move on
Teach me how to be strong
And with wind and fire, we can grow into something beautiful

Chorus

The smoke rose into the sky
And with it, light and wind became one




-sabishii.tenshi-
Community Member
dev1



-sabishii.tenshi-
Community Member
avatar
2 comments
Stella's Song - Infinite Wind
I'm planning a comic. For each of my characters, I've written an 'anime song' (no music, though ^.^; ) to get to know them better. Please tell me what you think of each!

Stella's Song - Infinite Wind

Shrouded in the darkness
Hidden, undetected
It was just how you wanted it, wasn't it?
You were alone and frozen into corners
Not wanting to be found

A glint of black lets me know that you're there
An 'X' is all that's left
When you leave and murder is embedded in your eyes

Chorus:
Every tear can help you finally let go
When you're alone and breathless once again
Endlessly, hearts and bonds are broken
But the wind stops for no one
And it will set us free together

In your fear, you tried to escape
From the endless cycle of regret and anger
Tears not spilled onto the ground
You tried to have a shield
But strength is not yours until the final hour is over

Bridge:
To have wisdom is to understand the ways of people
But to have enlightment, you must know yourself
Are you still able to be enlightened?...

Everything that lives must die away from this earth
But once that's so, we fly away free to heaven
The wind blows strongly, and does not let go
As we learn to fill the emptiness together

Chorus





0 comments
Is all of life like this?
Constantly, I'm staring at my schedule, trying to visually see how long it is until the end of the week; its been like that since 6th grade.

Today wasn't like that though. I stayed home because when I woke up, my throat was so sore I couldn't talk. Its better, but now I have a fever. ><



-sabishii.tenshi-
Community Member
dev1


« Prev Set | Next Set » | Home
 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum