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so here is what else i have been pondering theses past few days and that is the fact there is this person who i care so much about. i have shown her this i have told her this but i am guessing that her heart resides else where. i given all i can to her. i could give so much more for even just a chance to say she is mine. i would bleed for her i would fight for her i would give the world to her if only for that one chance to prove my worth to her. she brings out the best of my emotions she brings out my most human of emotions i open up to her i let her in. time after time i cannot tell where her heart lies. and now after the years of waiting i have to push her away and move on i have spent the last of my waking life trying to hold on to her. i have been told to take the leap and just out right try to take her as mine but each time she side steped and just let me fall so know after each time i have dusted off and tried again she would run around and forget about what i just said and now she is also the one to make me relize that i have to go. i will hold out till i leave but i know somewhere deep in my heart i must leave her farther behind then the rest. ive held on for as long as i can and now i have to leave her gone and behind. i will not completely forsake her but i will do what i must so that i can leave her and move on i do not want to but i see no other options for us. if she cannot see what i want to give her, happiness joy a constant smile and a heart of love and generosity then i can no longer afford to pollute my mind and heart for her so in the next few days i will push her away quickly i will try to do it as gently as possible...... now if durning this time she decides to fight for me in the end i will just follow what my heart tells me i should do if it tells me give her a chance the only thing i have asked for then i will if it tells me stay true to my path i will follow without heasitation. it is probably obvious to who it is i hope this is the final thing that shows to light my inner thoughts to whom ever cares enough to read.. so untill my next note i will be around text me if you want
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