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Alrighty.. So this summer has been the most boring of all. Sadly, the only thing I'm excited about is school... sweatdrop
ANYWAYS
Love.
No one reads my journal, I guess, so I'm pretty much talking to myself... But that's okay, right? Anyways.
Love is really confusing me right now. I'm gonna try to explain this as best as possible, and am replacing names to guys to keep their identities hidden, though they probably know who they are.
BoyA I have liked since 3rd grade, and for additional info, go to my last post.
BoyB I have liked since sixth grade, so yes, I liked two at once.
BoyC is unknown. BoyC does not exist, but does in my mind.
Now, BoyA has been gone for two years. I swear I am crazy for still hanging onto him. My mind could easily forget about him, since he's the bullying type, and is rude when he wants to be. But, my heart does not easily give up, and the two muscles are constantly at war with one another to decide who can take over my heart for now. Sadly, my heart usually wins, and my brain takes the backseat. Leaving whoever I want to takeover. Though my brain tells me he will never come back, or never love me, my heart keeps chasing a lost cause.
Now, BoyB and I used to be a .. "Thing", for loss of better wording. We went out for three months, almost four, and were pretty happy. I wanted to take things slow, and he wanted to keep things trucking right along. At the time, I didn't think I was ready for hand holding and etc... But when we broke up, I realised how wrong I was about what I wanted. Once we broke up, I realised he was doing everything that happend in my fantasies and dreams. And I regret telling him to slow down and give me space. I regret our breakup, but I'm not going to tell him that. xp
Okay, so BoyC does not exist, but for determination reasons, he's in this journal. BoyC is an imaginary guy, perfect in every way, but isn't here yet. He's off in who-knows-where, surely coming to me soon. Right? Maybe... I don't know yet. BoyC is my idea of a perfect guy. Every girl has a BoyC that they wish would sweep them off their feet. I am no different. I've had weird dreams, and only one has had BoyC in it, two with BoyB, and SIX, a whopping SIX with BoyA. I've been trying to decide who is right for me, or if I hould just wait for BoyC to come along.
Summary:
BoyA is moved away. Gone. Yet my heart won't let him go without a fight.
BoyB is here. He broke up with me. So I don't know if he's a lost cause or not.
BoyC is an imaginary figure who I want to become real so badly, I can almost see him. stare
SO. Please tell me who or what I should go with or do. I really have been debating with myself, and still cannot sum it up to a conclusion of what I should do. Please help... emo
 Reina de Flautas · Wed Aug 18, 2010 @ 09:38pm · 0 Comments |
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