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Sticks and stones may break my bones but your words will Always hurt me.


Candara
Community Member
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Look how time flies...
Way back in the olden days of 2005, I was excited over snow.
Now, in 2007, I'm still excited about snow.
I have changed SO much since then...
-sniffle-
Square Dancing was a great deal of fun...I miss it so..
Now we must play -shudder- Hardball.
What's wrong with this picture?
I am a Horrible team player.
Give me a racquet, and tell me to hit a tennis ball by MYSELF and I will,
But put me on a team with idiots who insist I'm inferior and cannot catch and ignore me while being their idiot selves and aimlessly throw the ball in random directions, and I suck.
I can Catch!
...Most of the time.
Although, I can't catch when (...lets call him Jerry.) was on the opposite team.
It's sad.
I NEVER talk to the guy, and I still get these butterflies.
Jerry and I have had a semi-friendship/avoidance since kindergarden when we boarded the bus for the first time.
My mom has PICTURES of us at that bus stop flashing our little pearly whites at the camera in our teensy midget clothing.
That's just a cutesy little kid thing.
To have pictures taken with your neighbor, but...this was always something more to me.
My first memory I have is of when I was in 2nd grade, and Jerry walked off of the bus and dropped this huge folder on the ground on his way down the street, and I walked over to help him pick up his stuff.
It just hurted.
All these years of secrets and no progress at all on my part.
It's hard to let them go...but it's not impossible.
Now, in my older teenage years, I've realized something.
Jerry isn't perfect.
He's not what I thought all these years.
I fell for his appearance, with his bookish attitude and his gangly self..
To me, his imperfections made him all the more...
But all these years,
I didn't like JERRY.
I liked the idea OF Jerry.
Letting go is hard, but not impossible...for me, anyway.

So...Since the babbling is done, Back to the Snow.
SNOW!!!!!!
I'm watching you fall, my love.
Snow is the best part of winter, just because every time you look at it, it reminds you of all the past years you spent walking in it, rolling in it, throwing it, etc.
For me, I remember all the snow fights with the neighbor kids.
But the best is remembering how you felt that first time you saw that 5 inches or so on the ground for the first time that season, and the view you have from the windows.
I remember my grandparent's house the best.
They had this little porch in green paint, and it faced directly out into the wood-ish area that they lived in...
There were always squirrels EVERYWHERE!
And this HUGE sled hill that by the time you were up top, you were soooo tired, that the only way you'd go back up again was to repeat the fast ride down...

And to conclude my entry today, I'll talk about something that's been bothering me...
Okay.
Is it irrational to have these feelings that a cloaked puppet/clown man is going to jump out at you in your dark kitchen?
I don't think so...
gonk
Every night, I proactically run away from the darkness in the kitchen and turn around to see if anything is standing there all menacingly...
It all started a few days ago when I had this dream...
-DREAM FLASHBACK-
I was walking down this beach, wearing a black skirt, when these waves knocked me over.
Then these random guys drive by and are all "Whoah! Overexposure!" and "Watch it there, Girlie!"
And I look down and my skirt is all FWAH! and then I'm all "Hey, YO! I'm wearing SHORTS under this!!" and I stalk away into these woods..
With me so far?
Where suddenly-
I'm kidnapped by this black cloaked figure!
Who then ties me to a tree with dental floss and cackles at me.
Then these folk from the beach come into the woods looking for me with big sticks, torches and pitchforks calling my name loudly.
They spot me tied to that tree, and are all "What??" and "We FOUND YOU!!"
When the cloaked figure looks all terrified, I go "Look , you can untie me and run away, I'll distract them so you can go."
This cloaked thing nods and unties me, then turns to go.
I whip my hand out and grab the cloak off to reveal-
My Graduation Owl beanie baby from my nightstand who then looks all angry and screeches, "You b***h!" and flies away.
-END FLASHBACK-

.....Should I keep the Beanie Baby?
O-O;





 
 
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