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Take a Trip into Lala Land
Oh ma gosh! So, boy troubles! Well, I met this guy from a dating site (I only joined for about a week, since I don't really need help finding boys) and I thought it was gonna be really cool since he's twenty-four, and has a job and is all stable and chill, but... I'm only eighteen, and as it turns out, I am not ready for this. I've never been in love so I've never been eased into a good relationship properly, and he's waaaay rushing it! We went to see Captain America last night and then he started kissing me. Which is fine, except that...well, I wanted to see the movie! Haha but anyway, then groping occurred and it just wasn't cool.

You know what guys' problem is? They don't care enough about girls. They want to get on their good side just enough to get a bit further. It's like, they're trying to earn sex when that's not what sex is about, at all. You know, I wanted to be friends with him first to prevent this sort of thing, but I guess it's too late. Also, he said, "I know you've wanted to kiss me..." So...not true! I think that he, in his experience with his ex-girlfriend of four and a half years, can feel sexual tension a lot better than I can...because I wasn't feeling it!

Also, I don't know anything about him! With my last boyfriend I was really annoyed because he kept saying he loved me when he didn't know anything about me. But this bothers me more because I feel odd, out of place, even guilty, when he feels this intensely about me and I don't about him. And I know it's because of that stupid thing guys tell each other, "Just let her talk about herself! She doesn't care to hear about you!" I kept asking about him, returning questions and stuff, but he just ignored it. This is, of course, via email. So, I don't really know his personality. He also might be too reserved. He tends to try to be the cool guy. But I just can't be that into him when I don't know him!

My sister says I'm crazy ("are you lesbian? ;D" wink for not returning all the sexual enthusiasm, as he is attractive and has a nice voice. I don't know...for all the above reasons, I'm unhappy with this situation. Not to mention that in a few months I'll be stationed overseas. Actually, that might be a solution.... I don't really want to break up with him, since the relationship-ness just started last night, so it'd be ridiculous to break it off after just one error. But this does make me feel awkwardly not in control of my own life. And I don't like that.

So, if anyone ends up reading this, I would love to hear your opinion of my situation. :C





Woo! I have graduated! I just realized that I only have one journal entry, which is just as well, I suppose, as no one will read them. I haven't been on Gaia in a while, but I decided to, as I now have money, buy a cash shop item for the first time ever and redo my avatar, and now I am quite happy with her design. I might draw her, especially as I just got photoshop and a tablet. ...Man, I'm hungry. Anyway, I'm entering the Air Force, whereas before I was going to go to Le Cordon Bleu in Austin (I was accepted there) but the Air Force seems pretty freakin' sweet to me.

I kind of want to do some old school role playing, but at the same time, no one ever stays on those long enough for anything to come of it. Now that I have a laptop, it would become a whole lot easier to attend to the forum, however. Yeah, I think I'll go attempt it just for old times' sake.





oxox lala oxox
Community Member
oxox lala oxox
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