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Chapter UNO!!
Once, there was an elephant. He lived in a jungle in the ******** MIDDLE OF AFRICA with his monkey friends.
Elephant: Hey Monkay How You Been?
Monkay:Hay BBy!~* Psh You No Just Keepin It Real And All That Jaz
Elephant:We Should Go On A Might Adventure
Monkay:No no =3= I Have To Raise The Kids D:
Elephant: See B*tch D< This Is What Im Talkin About! We Never Go Out Anymore ;-;
Monkay: D: Dont You Have That Tone With Me D<
So, being rejected by his monkey "Friend", the elephant decided to go on the quest on his own. He got his ******** marbles and headed for the coast. On the way he encountered a gay lion.
Elephant:Hay Lion Do You No Ware The Nearest Motel Is??
Lion:Mmmm..No But You Cant Stay With Me :3
Elephant:Why Thank You [: You So Kind
Lion:Im More Then Kind ;]
Elephant:Err...What??!
Lion:{Cough} Um The Buscuits Are Ready :3
Elephant:Mmmm I Love Buscuits
Lion:Is Your Dad A Baker Cuz You Have Nice Buns ;D
Elephant:What In The World Are You Talkin About =0
Elephant, beig the ignorant mofo he was, stayed the night with the lion.
Well, the elephant was still completely oblivious to the lion's sexual passes, so the lion said "wanna have sex?". The elephant replied "Hell yeah". The elephant and the lion had SWEET INTERSPECIES GHEY BESTIALLITY SM3X all night long. The next morning, the elephant got up and left to continue his adventure.
Chapter DOS!!
Elephant:Uhg..So Tired
Prego Bear: Hey You Looken For A Place To Stay Hun?
Elephant: Ya ya :3
Prego Bear: Mmkay Come With Me Hun
So They Went To Her Place
Prego Bear: Okay So This Is Ma Crib And Thats Ma Son Over There, My Husband And My Daughter
Elephant: {Thinks To Himself} *Omg Her Son Is HAWT* D<
Son:{Thinks To Self} Mmm Poptarts
The prego bear gave him a little space to sleep in and invited him to eat dinner with them.
They had steak.
Elephant: This is a problem.
Papa bear: Why?
Elephant: Imma vegetarian :[
Prego bear: That aint good, hun. We don't have anything else for you to eat.
Elephant: Well, there IS something I could eat. ;D *Glances at son*
Papa bear: WTF are you getting at?
Elephant: Nothing! Nothing...I'll...just go outside and graze O_O;
Papa bear: *shifty eyes* Good. Enjoy yourself.
Elephant: Phew~
Elephant had a great meal of grass that night, and slept very soundly in the bear's cave.
Elephant:-Yawn- Good Morning "Son"
Son: Hey...
Elephant:So..Your The Only One Awake, Eh?
Son:Uh Ya, Mom, Pop, And Sis Went To The Store
Elephant:Is That So?? >> Do You Want To Join Me On My Adventure?
Son:Naw I Dont Think I Want To
Elephant:...B*tch You Have No Choice, This Is No Longer A Yes Or No Question D< You Go With Me Or You Die D;
Son: ;-; I Go With You Then..
Elephant:Great! Pack Your Shet! We Are Gunna Make Like A Basket Ball And Bounce
Chapter TRES!!
So, now with the young male bear at his side, elephant continued on his mighty adventure. The bear complained a lot, but it was okay since he was sexy. They finally got to the coast, and tried to figure out what to do next.
"Son": Can I go home yet?
Elephant: NO DAMMIT! >=O Were going to Madagascar.
"Son": We can't. We don't even have a boat ._.
Elephant: Yes we do. Were on a boat right now.
The bear looked down and realized that he was, in fact, on a boat.
"Son": Where are you going on this epic quest, anyway?
Elephant: Don't question my authority. You'll regret it.
"Son": Mk then. Why do we have to go to Madagascar, anyway?
Elephant: Because it's the last place in the world that would be effected by an epidemic =D
"Son": Oh. K then ^^
Little did elephant know that the young bear had an epidemic of his own. >=D BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Chapter QUATRO!!
Elephant:{Thinks To Self} *This Lil Brat Is Annoying But Hawt*
Son:Hey..Uh So Wats Up
Elephant biggrin dont Ask Questions D<
Son:Oh Okay, Well....
Elephant:Well Wat D< Tell Me Now
Son:No You Said Dont ;-;
Elephant:Why Are You Cryin?
Son:Cuz.....
Elephant: 0= Well Im Here?
Son:I..I Think I Love You Elephant!
Elephant: -=-Gasp-=- *Dramaticly Looks At The Sky-=-
Elephant:I New This Day Would Come D:
With this newfound discovery, elephant took the young bear into his arms and comforted him.
Bear: I don't know what to do...I can't be ghey!
Elephant: Who says you can't? ;D
Bear: You're right! Who says I can't be who I am?
The bear walked over to the edge of the boat and shouted to the world about his newfound discovery, then turned back to his lover with a grin on his face.
Elephant: K thats nice, but your moar sexy when your quiet.
Bear: Osorry >///< Ilu!!
Chapter CINCO!!
Son:So Bby When Can We Go Out?
Elephant:What Do You Mean?!
Son:Ya No....Just Go Out To A Club
Elephant:We Haven Even Got To Ware We Needs To Get To
Son:But When We Do Will You Take Me Out?
Elephant:Maybe..
Son:Maybe?? What Is That Supposed To Mean?
Elephant: Well, I'm not even sure that there are clubs in Madagascar, you know? It's pretty remote.
Bear: OMG I just found purpose to our quest!
Elephant: Besides escaping an epidemic?
Bear: Yes! We have been sent by Allah to start a club in Madagascar!
Elephant: Hey, that's an awesome idea! Wait, you're Muslim?
Bear: You're not?
Elephant: I am actually! Wow babe, we have so much in common!
Bear: OMG YEAH!!! Let's have sex! =D
Elephant: Um...I actually think we should wait a year or two for that. You're kind of underage, you know? {Not that I don't want to :[}
Bear: Screw that! The law can't keep us apart here, in the middle of the ocean!
Suddenly, Blue and red colored lights and sirens pierced through the quiet night.
Elephant: Oh s**t, the coast guard.
Bear:OMG What Are We Gunna Do Im Going To Pass Out *Hypervenalates*
Elephant:Kills The Coast Guard
Bear:OMG WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR
Elephant:It Was For His Own Good...What Else Would We Be Able To Do??
Bear:OMG I DONT NO BUT YOU DIDNT HAVE TO DO THAT
Elephant:..Oh Well, What Has Been Done Cant Be Reversed, Looks Like He Is Swimmin With The Fishes
Bear:Im..Im So Scared :[
Chapter SEIS!!
After that, the couple took detours around the ocean to avoid any encounters with other coast guards. They succesfully did, and finally made it to their destination of Madagscar! They stepped off the boat and shared a long, passionate kiss. They looked at their surroundings and decided to set up camp near a coconut tree. elephant had gone inland a bit and discovered that there was a small creek of fresh water not even a mile from their new home.The future looked bright for the two of them.
Chapter SIETE!!
Bear and Elephant had been living together on the island for a few months now. They were still celibate...but not for long! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Bear: Hey, since the coast guard is gone, can we have sex nao? PLZ? =O
Elephant: K sure. We has nothing better to do >=3
Elephant had some moar ghey bestiality interspecies sm3x, but with bear this time.
About a week later, elephant's noticed that he had been having a hard time eating and drinking due to pain in his mouth. His temperature was elavated, and he was just plain achy and tired. He asked bear about it.
Elephant: Hey snookums, I've felt a little funny lately.
Bear: Orly? Tell me about it.
Elephant: Well, I have a fever, I'm tired, and I can't eat or drink because it ******** HURTS. D'you know why babe?
Bear: {OH SHITE} Um,...No! It DEFINANTLY IS NOT AN STD!! especially not mouth herpes. Maybe your just working too hard. Why don't you go lie down?
Elephant: *Looks suspiciously* What about my oral pain?
Bear: You brushed your teeth too hard. Silly.
Elephant: Oh k. Love you ^_^
Bear: Yeah, love you too ^^; {That was a close call O_O}
Chapter OCHO!!
Hay Bear Ima Go To The Store To Pick Up My Cream For My Mouth Ill Be Bak Kay?
Bear:Of Course Dear [: Be Back Soon, I Made Pancakes
Elephant:Mmkay!*
Little Did Bear No That Elephant Was Really On His Way To The Doctors
Elephant:So Doc, What Is It?
Doctor:Elephant...You Have The Mouth Herps!
-Dramtic Pause-
Elephant: -Gasp!-
Doctor: Yus, Do You Have A Partner?
Elephant:Yes, Yes I Do...Doc...Are You Saying That He Has The Herps..And That He Didnt Tell Me...And That i Have Them Now?
Doctor:Thats Exactly What Im Saying D:
Elephant: -Crys-
Doctor: Its Guna Be Okay, -Hugs-
Elephant: -Still Crying-
Little Did Elephant No That The Doctor Was Actually A Perv That Ran Away From Prison And Was Pretending To Be A Doctor
Elephant: Uh, What Are You Doing?
*****..
Elephant: OMGawd Why Are You Touching Me D:
xD Lawl! Imma put that in right now...
*****: It's okay Ele dear, I'll make you feel better. Much better than that bear makes you feel >=D
Elephant: Mkay, two things are wrong with this.
1.) NO BISHES CALL ME ELE. ITS JUST WEIRD.
2.) If you force me for ghey smex, won't you get teh herpes too? creeper.
So GET OFF ME MAN.
*****: :[
After elephant ran away from the doctor, he went to the beach a ways from his home. He sat and thought about what had happend.
Elephant: Why didn't he tell me? *Cries*
after sitting there for a while, he decided that he needed to confront bear. He headed home.
Bear: Welcome home snookums! What's wrong?
Elephant: Well, you gave me mouth herpes and didn't tell me. :
Bear: ...Oh >-<;
Elephant: WHY WOULDNT YOU TeLL ME ABOUT SOMETHING SO IMPORTANT?
Bear: Um...I forgot?
Elephant: No you didn't >=O I smell your lies.
Bear: K fine. I'm a sex-obsessed teenager with raging hormones. If I told you, we wouldn't have had teh smex. And I would be bored.
Elephant: So...You only wanted me for sex? T~T
Bear: No, you make a pretty good omelet too.
Elephant: So you want me for sex and omelets? :
Bear: Yep! ;3 Now get in the kitchen and make me some breakfast. =D
Elephant: K babe =D At least you don't just want me for sex.
...Hm, didn't we come here to AVOID incurable diseases?
Bear: Yeah, that and starting a club.
Elephant and Bear started the best and only club on the island of Madagascar. They skyrocketed to fame, and became important spokespeople for random s**t. Sure, they both had mouth herpes...but they didn't let that bother them! They had accomplished their goal, whatever that goal was.
-By Rabbit and Oreo
 l a g o m o r p h 1 1 2 1 · Sat Jul 18, 2009 @ 01:09am · 4 Comments |
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