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Now that I've got all the time in the world to think about it, I could've been a college scholar each and every semester I've been here in Diliman. But oh well...excuses, flimsy excuses, the same excuses I've used all eighteen years of my life.

Is it bugging me or is it bugging me? Semesters come and go. And come to think of it, I am not deliquent, nor am I underloaded or some such thing. No... I'm simply lazy, that's that. Could have done so much better, brains like these (bwahahaha!), but no, I choose not to. So in a very large way, a very moronic way, a very annoying way, there's not much that's changed, not much to be expected, still the same lazy girl I've always been.

Yet do not equate me with people who lack ambition. People who have everything but ambition. I know a couple of those persons, and by god! I do not wish to be so. I am scared, that one day I might wake up, thirty, still in my small bedroom in my small bed with its four pillows and the pink teddy bear that's been with me for all my life. Scared, that the best of my life has just passed me by like that missed breakfast or that class I'd always wanted to take but never did anything to get it.

And so you have it: it scares me, it bugs me, and yet I do not do anything--visible at least--to counter it. That I still fail to rise up to my own expectation and for once start walking faster, to make incarnate the fancies in my beautiful little brain.Because I keep using that damn cliche, I've got all the time in this wretched earth.