this is not something anyone has to read... Im just all alone and want to type out some lonely feelings so i dont go to my softball game feeling like a total loser.

So two people on my bus... well theyre good friends and they like to pretend theyre dating and have all these problems... Well watching and participating in their fake fights (and i know it osunds weird) just sorta gives me a lonely feeling. its like i have no one to fight with (friends and family dont count) or to just spend time with. i cant even hope to find someone over the summer cuz i know the guys there..... theyre oly meant to stay as your adorably stupid pet monkeys. also, i dont wanna wait a whole year to finally meet new people. im so tired of where i am now that its not even funny. Its the same thing everyday. get up. get ready. leave. come back later. sport (the only actually FUN part of my day). get ready. go to bed. that just gets so old!

anyways i sorta hope no one reads this cuz its kinda depressing... not what i wrote..... thats just a nice way to rewrite what i was thinking. But i mean i understand its that time in my life where im gonna feel like this but i mean even my cousin has someone! and shes younger! i think its just where i am right now. no one where i lives ever leaves their house and if they do.. they run to their car and avoid all conversation. and where i am when i not home.... same thing but different..... theres no one to be with... theres like 3 possibilities but theyre not possibilities to me. i just dont want to wait a year..... a WHOLE year... and even then ill have to start all over and try to redo what i already did years ago! and that was torture! ugh now my throat hurts and i have softball.

off to do the last thing of my night until it gets all boring and routine again.