The blade hungers for my blood.My name is Tommy. It’s calling to me…It’s saying,”Come use me Tommy..I can releive your pain.”I have M.D..aka,Manic Depression.The only way to releive my pain is through cutting.I pick it up and palce it against a ribbon..The ribbon splits seamlessly and gently falls to the floor.Hmm….I place it against my wrist and trace a line along my arm,waiting for the blood to bubble out..Going..going..Gone.The blood finally bubbles out,and flows down my arm like a red waterfall.I bow my head back against the cold,stone wall in my bathroom.I think to myself,Relief.I sigh.A long,exaspertated sigh.My medicine doesn’t help anymore..It works for an hour,then I’m down back to the pits.I get up,and walk downstairs,seeing my mother sitting at the table sipping coffee.
“Oh honey,are you ok?”She asks concerningly.
“I’m fine mother..”I reply as I slide my sleeve down.I then walk into the living room to see my father laying down..Drunk..As usual.Hmm…I wonder what Savannah is doing..So I call her,not expecting an answer..It rings three times,then it clicks.
“Hello?”I hear on the reciever.
“Hey Savannah,it’s Tommy…I did it again..”I reply meekly.
“Oh my god,ill be right there.”Click.The line goes dead.I look around my home,thinking how wonderful it would be to leave this place..Just to run away..Or end it all.Of course,I wouldn’t see Savannah anymore..I love her..
I hear a knocking at my door.Must be her.I answer it and smile.
“Thanks for coming.”I say,stuttering through my nervs.
“Anytime ma Chere.”She replies lovingly.God..I love it when she calls me her dear.It makes my heart melt.So I hug her,and kiss her cheek.Blushing all the while.
“Follow me.”I say somewhat deliberately.I take her hand and lead her to my room,where I shut the door and lock it.
She looks at me worried.”Uhm..Tommy?”She asks wonderingly.
“I-I just had to show someone..An-and you’re the only one I trust..S-So here.”I respond slowly,trying not to stutter anymore than I have already.I then lift my sleeve up and stick my arm out regrettingly.
“Oh Tommy…Not again.”She looks dissapointed.And how could I blame her?I am too.What happens next surprises me..She grabs my arm,kisses my cut,then says something I’ll never forget.
“I love you.All of you.Even your scars,they just make you more beautiful”I look at her…dumbfounded.I smiled at her and pulled her close,smelling her french vanilla perfume I got her for her birthday this year.
“I love you too.”I say slowly,not trying to sound eager.But deep down,I’m doing flips.As I look over her perfect body-5’6”,black hair with pink streaks,and bright blue eyes-She is amazing to look at,and be friends with.What she says next is dissapointing.
“I have to go..”She tells me regrettedly.She then frowns and looks at me.”I’m sorry…”
She then leans in slowly,and I copy her.We almost kiss..but my mother bursts in and yells,
“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING YOUNG MAN?”Sav and I look at her like she’s crazy-which she is-and then we both say,blushing,
“Nothing..”She then looks at us and says something un-intelligable under her breath.We look at eachother and sigh.Then,we continue where we left off.Our lips touch,then Savannah stands up and looks at me.
“I’m sorry…I really do have to go..”
‘’Ok..Je’taime ma chere.”I say back,She walks out and I hear her sniffling.Oh god…I wrap myself into a ball,and start sobbing.This is such a petty thing to do…Crying over the girl.How cliché.I stand up,and get undressed.When I finally get naked, I walk into the bathroom to take a shower.With my towel and tooth brush in hand,I turn the faucet on,and let the warm,comforting water whish my worries away…
I get out of the shower,seemingly hours later,and wrap the towel around my waist.I step out into my room,and sit on my bed and rest my head in my hands.I let out a single..lonely..tear..I stand up and take my towel off,laying it on my dresser.I walk to my closet and pick out my favorite pair of pants-my sweat pants-and t-shirt.I slide my t-shirt on over my still wet chest,and slide into my sweat pants.I take my hair tie off my wrist and put my hair into its rightfull pony tail.My slippers sit in the corner,staring at me.Instead of my slippers,I put on my tennis shoes and tie them.My wallet is sitting on my dresser,so I grab that and head out the door.Without a word to my mother.
I walk in the slow,humid drizzle to the SleepWalkers Café.The bell rings as I walk in and sit down.The waiter comes to the table and asks what I want.
“Cappuccino double shot espresso please..”I say absentmindedly.Ive gotten that ever since I was 13.Everyday,for 2 years.The waiter brings me my drink a couple minutes later.I merely nodded in thanks,and paid him.I sipped it,and laid my head back.Letting my coffee envelope my emotions,and drown them and warm,cinnomy bliss.I shut my eyes,and wake up ten minutes later.I shake my head,trying to get awake,and take a sip of my semi-cold cappucino.Then SHE walks in..It seems like all the air in the room rushes out,in an attempt to make room for her beauty.Savannah…I look at her quickly,then sink down into my seat.Trying to not be seen.She walks by,looks at me not noticing me,and sits in the booth infront of mine.I sneek a peek at her,then hide again..The waiter comes over eyeing me oddly.
“Sit with her.Obviously you like her.”He suggests.I look at him in disbelief.
“Uhm.Excuse me?”I say back.Slightly annoyed.He just looks at me,and walks away..I do as he says,and sit with her.I let out a deep breath,and say Hello.
“Hey Savannah”I say quickly.
“Hey Tommy,when did you get here?”
“I was sitting behind you..I put my hair in a pony tail.. I took a shower and came here.”I replied.I looked at her and smiled sheepishly.Then she got up and said,
“Come with me.Let’s go for a walk”She holds out her hand and I take it gingerly.We get up,leave,and walk to the park.We lay down in the field,and look at the constellations.
“There’s Cancer!”She points to the crab constellation.I laugh and look at her sparkling happy blue eyes.And find myself holding her hand.She looks over and has the same look on her face.
“I love you.”We say in unison.Then I sit up,and she copies me.I lean in to kiss her,then back off shyly.I blush and look away.
“Whats wrong Tommy?”She asks worriedly.
“Well,there’s this girl.And I REALLY like her.Like,REALLY bad.Anyways,everytime I see her,my heart skips a beat,and I smile intensely. She is 5’6”,has blue eyes,and long black and pink hair.You might know her?”She looks at me and blushes.
“Oh Tommy..I love you too!”Then..what happens next makes me smile amazingly.She pounces on my and kisses me..Not some peck,like a fake one.A long,slow,and deep kiss.It was amazing..It was as if everything in the world just fell all into place.I returned the kiss..Then I woke up..It was all a dream?I think outloud.I know the coffee shop happened..but she didn’t really come in..did she?Hmm….I then called Savannah and asked..
“Hey,did we happen to go to the park tonight?”I ask.
“No..I saw you at the coffee shop,then you left.”She responded confusedly.I felt my face heat up.
“O-Oh.”I stuttered.Then I hung up.Oh lordy..This isnt good..I mean,I knew I loved her.But,having dreams about her??NOT GOOD.I walked to my room to lay down.Little did I know,my room was being organized.So I don’t know where my pajamas are,where my blankets are,or where my alarm clock is..Guess whos staying in the living room tonight?DING DING DING.YOU GUESSED IT,ME.Ughhh…. Im all fine and dandy with being clean,but don’t go in my room and re-organize it without my consent.Whatever..I’ll just go re-organized my mom’s room..heh..Then all of a sudden,I hear a loud,deliberate..KNOCK.I ignore it and go into my bathroom-where I sit on the edge of the tub- to take a shower. Then I see it..The sharp…silver… blade.I pick it up and turn it over three times in the palm of my hand..I look at it cautiously and grudgingly. No no no no.Dont look at it.Dont feel it..Don-And before I could complete my thought,I grabbed the blade and smoothly glide it across my skin.I feel the skin neatly slip open,and allmost immediately,my blood slowly bubbles out and down my arm.I then set the blade down and sit in the tub,shaking with tears streaming down my face.I take my wrist and grip it with my right hand,then look at my right hand.I’ve been caught red handed…I take my hand,and slap the wall full force,wishing it would break through and just keep going.I take my hand away slowly,as if my blood print is going to come back and slap me.But,after what seems like forever,it doesn’t.Thankfully,I stopped bleeding.And I then get out of the tub-flecked with dried blood-to see Savannah sitting on my bed,her back to me,slightly nidding her head to our song “Hey There Mr.Brooks-Asking Alexandria”.
“That song is about murdering someone,you know.”I say like she doesn’t already know.
She jumps a little,and turns to look at me.”Oh..Hey Tommy,didn’t see you there.”
I laugh nervously and sit on the floor.She sits next to me and takes my hand,turning my arm over in her hand,she sees the cut.I look away nervously and then down at my feet and rip my arm from her hand.Then I stand up and tremble having to catch myself on my dresser.Whats wrong with me?She looks at me worriedly.And I begin to feel woozy and start to black out. I didn’t lose that much blood did I?Then I fall unconcious,seeing Savannah rush over to me…
I wake up in a bright white room, still woozy and dazed. Am I in heaven? I think out loud, half expecting a response.
“No.”A low, ragged voice responds. What the ********? Where am I then?
“Where am I?”I ask the raggedy voice.
“You’re in the hospital. You lost a lot of blood son. You could have died.” I look around and see my mom asleep in the corner. Savannah is asleep in the chair next to mine. How long was I out?
“How long was I asleep?”I asked shakily.
He furrows his brow, and looks disgruntled.”About 7 hours I suppose.”I looked at him surprised, and sat up slowly. Agh…My arm hurts so bad. Savannah stirs, and I stop moving –partly because I don’t want to wake her up. But mostly because I’m in so much pain. She wakes up and smiles at me.
“Good morning baby.”Her smile lifts slightly. I blush and feel my self smile.
“Good morning love.”She also blushes. I can tell she’s embarrassed too. I can’t blame her, my mom could hear. We smile at each other and she gets up and brushes herself off. She then walks and sits next to me, on the crème colored gurney. I take her hand and squeeze it knowing she’ll never leave me. She blushes and I kiss her cheek.
“It’s ok hon. I won’t kiss you.” I smile at her lovingly and softly hold her hand. She looks at me and smiles back, while blushing.
“…Maybe I want you to…”She said hopefully and quietly. I blushed and looked down. Damn it Timmy! GO GET HER! I then lean over and lay her head on my shoulder. Savannah looks at me oddly.
“Timmy…”She says deliberately. Uh oh. “Kiss me.”I just stare at her, for what seems like ages. Then finally she breaks the spell by looking up at me. I smile and kiss her forehead. She laughs and softly says, “Not like that silly…Here…Let me show you.”She pulls my head down and bites my lip, then kisses me slowly. Her lips are so soft… This is what I’ve been waiting for… finally. I feel my face flush, but ignore it and return the favor. We share our little moment with complete disregard for public. This is so great. It was filled with passion. Filled with love and need for someone to protect and want. Just as soon as we parted, my mom woke up and came running over to the bed.
“Oh honey are you ok?!” She said quickly, checking me over for cuts.
I sigh slowly. Then finally say,” I’m fine mother… Really. Even better now that Savannah is awake.” Savannah looks at me and smiles, blushing slightly. My mother looked at us flustered.
“What did I miss…?”
LennonZilla Community Member 
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