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...Do you really NEED to read it?
I don't think I can do this, one per day is too many. I can see why Coulton took a week for each song, but developed it into a full thing. He gets closure for each song, and leaves enough time in between to be reinspired. It's just too much to ask of myself for a new tune, and a new topic each day. It's no wonder the songs have been short and samey.
If I had some decent recording equipment, and a better handle on the guitar than my awe-striking guitarist, I would do song a week. It'd be awesome, I'd love it. However, that's just not doable.

Besides, reading the lyrics to songs can't be that much fun.
With all that said, here's my final tune for a little while, until I can rethink what I'm doing here.

You Heartbreaker

One by one, metal foils fall from my thumb.
I’ll never fill it up; keep telling me this is dumb,
To my son, little coils spring dearly some.
As the blood seeps slowly – Here it comes.

We’ll never fill it up – This race we ride eternal.
The contest is enough to spark my human desire.
One more sheet I’ll try, but I’ll give it up.
When I’m wading & waiting at the top of the spire.

Keep running your tracks, never look back.
But the feeling it don’t come mutual.
Rip another one off, turn your head and cough.
For the hunt it ends eventually.

We’ll never fill the cup – This race goes on forever.
The battle so hot it strike my animal nature.
Tear the cord, break the bag. Crank the machine’s lever.
This war is so fearsome. It’s like a broken matchstick in the dark.

Now I’m trying to weep, I’m crying to sleep.
For fear of the night makes love of the bright. That’s the cycle – Get used to it.

(Short & heavy guitar solo)
Kablam!

Hey keep that all down, turn your frown upside down.
I’ve got a girl now – To keep me human.
What I said was wrong, I’ve been alone for too long.
‘Cause I will never write an emo song, no I’ll never write an emo song.
(Fade to outro)


I like the human nature of this song. Defeatism, denial, acceptance, ressurection! Hooray!
Annie makes me go through these stages daily. It's a beautiful thing from another man's perspective, but it's a bit exhausting on my end.
(Tip: I like the resurrection stage the best)

I know, I know, I copped out on Friday. If there were more people reading these, it would be a much bigger let-down I'm sure.
So to make up for it, I wrote a really short tune at the last minute. biggrin
Okay, so I'm a cheater. I'm aware. Either way, do enjoy.

I'm a Victim of Your Stupid Rules, You Pretty Little Thing

Baby, I'm the fugitive.
Victim of society.
Who decides if I shall live?
Who will pull the plug on me? Not you - Not me.

We are so everlasting - You got me heated in the copper.
We are so everlasting - My life is like a gobstopper.

(Run free, run free)
To the sea...
We shall be,
The perfect opportunity.

(Run free, run free)
We are still multi-tasking
Run free...
Is it worth even asking?


I actually really like this one, although I usually don't find much interest in the last second stuff. It's got a very Hellogoodbye techno-indie inspired feel to it. I honestly don't know why I'm telling you people this, because it might as well be a poem.
If I ever record these songs, I might just attatch them to these journals.

Handsfree Tonight
Almost had to take a lazy day here, really struggled to get this one done. But of course, if I did that, I wouldn't be able to blow it off tomorrow. Which I may very well have to do... Because I'm gonna' go see Johnathan Coulton hier soir! Booyeah, the man invented writing songs under a massive time constraint. If I get to talk to him, I might point out what I'm doing now.

Handsfree Tonight

Hello (Hello, Hello) Operator,
Hello, Hello, can you give me number nine.
Hello (Hello, Hello) Operator,
Got to get you home on time.

We're way out past my bedtime,
But I don't care, 'cause it's fine.
I'm gonna' stay up late tonight.

I won't sleep anyway,
I've had such a day.
You're welcome to come up,
And put your feet up.

I don't mind.
It's alright.

But when you're gone,
I know there's something I forgot to ask.
Could it be your number,
Oh the time has passed. Oh no...

Hello, (Hello, Hello) Operator,
Hello, Hello, give me number nine.
Hello, (Hello, Hello) Operator,
Got to get that girl this time.

- Insert ringtone SFX solo, akin to the SFX solo in the beginning of Pink Floyd's Money -

So hello, hello, hello, Operator.
Hello, Hello, give me number nine.
Hello, hello, hello, operator.
Can't a girl just treat me fine?


This is one of those tunes that I'll come up with while I'm cleaning myself up. I feel like I've stolen from Bread a little on the main riff, but it's distant enough that I can sing it without feeling terrible. I don't mind this song, but I wrote it really quickly, under ten minutes actually. It's very Pettit Project (Mundane guy meets girl ideology, but the song has a quirk), and I like it that way. It's simplistic, of course, the chorus dominates the song. I also didn't write a bridge, simply out of laxidasical perdition. Whatev.

Too Far To Visit, But It'll All Work Out
I'd been struggling trying to write a tune all day... Totally wigging out, I was half afraid I'd have to call it a lazy day. It wasn't writers block, I just was totally uninspired. But the catch was, I'd promised my girl that I'd be sure to write a tune today.

So I did everything I could, tried all my methods. Attempted to avoid other music all day, (though Say Anything got to me in the end) and I even took a second shower (I write everything in there). But to no avail, all I'd come up with was choppy and boring.

And then I realized why I'd worked so hard in the beginning... My baby. Once I had that, it all came spewing out on its own, and basically wrote itself. Tune's very Buddy Holly, very early 50's rock and roll. It's super dixie/graceland, and I love the sound.

Too Far To Visit, But It’ll All Work Out

My baby too far to keep in touch,
My baby too far to even touch,

It’s a shame, it’s a shame, it’s a shame.
Oh, what a pain.
It’s a shame, it’s a shame, it’s a shame.
Oh, what a pain.

My baby too far to take to dance,
But we get by in this romance.
And I’m saved, and I’m saved, and I’m saved.
Keeps me sane.
I’m saved, I’m saved, I’m saved.
Stay humane.

We got our share of problems,
Don’t get me wrong.
But this is just the summary,
Contained within the song.
We got our party on!

I’m in a: Long-Distance relationship.
The kind you read about.
Sorta’ thing you’d pick apart,
When you got nothing to talk about.

Long –distance relationship, long-distance relationship, long-distance relationship.

But I love,
Can’t get enough of it.
I’m at the summit of affection for her.

And you can call me sad,
Might see me as mad,
But I still got the perfect girl somewhere.

So you can call it bad,
Refer to it as a fad,
But I still got the perfect girl somewhere.


Land O' The Lame
Didn't think I'd stick this out so long, but I figure once I get into a swing, I'll be spittin' them out. I've told other people that I'm doing this, which kinda' forces me to carry on. It's kind of a thrill, actually, and it's certainly good for my band to have a huge library of tunes. No idea how long I'll stick with it though... Maybe I'll set the charts for one month. Ripping off weekends, that's like... 22 songs, give or take.

The Land of the Lame

Every boy should have a mustache.
And every girl should wear the shortest skirt for miles.
Every macho man should talk trash.
While every dame should learn the art of feminine wiles.
‘Cause in our world… You better find a group to fill.
Or you might trip, and stumble into a society filled with the shrillest of highs, and the deepest of lows.
In a city where dogs can fly, and the rivers go up.
Where the people don’t spend their days in a rat race,
But flat on their backs,
Ditchin’ the sacks,
Don’t bother to cover your tracks.
‘Cause in the land of geniality,
Where the kids all run so free.
But time stands still, as the highs get shrill, don’t expect an honest day’s work.

For in the land of society,
There are petitioners like you and me.
And we don’t know what our yelling brings.
As we can’t get into the thick of things.
And in our land of laws and rules,
The children slave away at school.
But they don’t know what a joy it is to escape to geniality.

And in the land of the free,
Every day will be you and me.
But please don’t be so naïve,
Don’t you just go and believe.
For in the land of the lazy, and this might sound crazy,
But once that land’s trashed, resources are slashed,
Every boy will have a mustache.
So if you’re redundancy,
Y’like to waste what you breathe,
Well, it’s clear to me,
You’re all ready for geniality.


This song is one of those "careful what you wish for" tunes... I actually really don't like it, but it has this very Belle & Sebastien uplifting feeling. I was probably listening to them before I wrote it... I can't listen to other tunes and write new melodies at the same time. It's too hard for me.

This song was inspired by cyber-vandalism... In fact, I believe that entire piece of music finds its roots in this picture.

User Image
(That would be a terrible picture of my guitarist. I drew a moustache on it.)

Let's All Go To Kyoto
Maybe I'm just trying to emulate my hero, Jonathan Coulton, in his efforts to create Song A Week, or maybe I just need a bit of inspiration to really blaze through some licks... But no matter the reason, you still get a fresh song per day.

I'll be writing lyrics each day... Not counting the weekends. And not counting days when I don't write lyrics. razz Deal with it, sucka's!

Let’s All Go To Kyoto

I don’t blame Homo sapiens for screwing up our earth.
This s**t was bound to happen since the day of fire’s birth.
And I won’t whine and wane at politics and so-called leaders.
But the heat is rising and all our moneys in the parking meters.
Kyoto – whoa.
Kyoto – Oh no.
If you’ve got no common sense, pray you’ve got dollars and cents.
Kyoto.

We live on a rocket rockin’ through space, we landed on a planet, where we formed the human race.
But along came a plan where we’d love the common man, and together we’d forever forget about our earth.
Kyoto – Hello.
Kyoto – Thanks, no.
If you’ve got no common sense, pray you’ve got dollars and cents.
Kyoto.

Spoken Word:
For every family in North America that adjusts their thermostat by just 2 degrees in the winter and summer, we can save about 2400 lbs. of CO2 emissions per year. If everyone in North America did that, we could lessen the effects of Global Warming drastically, save electricity, and we probably wouldn’t feel the difference.

People, it’s not our earth. We’re only sharing it –
With the birds and the bees, and the animals, and trees, and the bacteria.
And if we wanna’ save our planet, it’s up to the people who ******** it in the first place.
Oh, if we wanna’ keep our planet in space, look down at yourselves when you think about those people.

Oh well, it’s not a blame game anymore.
And there shouldn’t be money saving score.
It’s time to take action – Whoa.
Are you ready for action – Whoa.

We can gauge it by reaction, in our people’s global faction, and if I don’t get my satisfiction, well then –
Kyoto – God no.
Kyoto – Hello.
We don’t have common sense, so where’s the dollars and cents?
Kyoto.
Kyoto.


Came up with the tune in the shower... Just started going, "KyotoKyotoKyotooo..." and it eventually turned into an overblown tune about the Ky-proto-col. I like this song, it's fun to sing, and I get to sound really intellectual during the spoken bridge. Sadly, there was no room for face-melding solos. What a shame.

We're A Canadian Man
Thought it might be cool of me to start posting the lyrics to some of my songs. It'd be creatively relieving for me, and it might be entertaining for you, too. Do leave some criticism if you care, I'm always trying to grow. Hell, if you think it sucks, just say that, it'll be cool.

Here's the lyrics to one of the most critically acclaimed tunes I wrote. The nuances are a bit historical, so most of you Americana kids probably won't get the nuances, but it's still worth a glance.

Just a note: Every single line in the song has a real meaning. Practically everything's a metaphor.

We’re a Canadian Man

Verse 1:
Well his heart is a snowflake, and his eyes are window frost.
His youth’s Britannic chills; never gained but never lost.
Oh, it doesn’t really matter when the icicle shatters,
‘Cause no matter where he goes, his body never feels the cold.

Chorus:
In this winter wonderland, there’s a Canadian man.
And on his land he stands, on guard for thee American.
There ain’t no method to his plan, only does it ‘cause he can.
Won’t stick his head into the sand, won’t bend an ear, won’t lend a hand.
He’s serene and ever grand, which make him cosmopolitan.
Only steps in when they scan, he’s a Canadian man.

Verse 2:
Well his people love the leaf, but they’d rather be the deer.
It ain’t their prime belief, but there ain’t no belief here.
His bones are shields through the land, fear not they’re hollow rocks.
‘Cause a woman rules this man, from faraway docks.
She has the boats, she has the bears, and she’s even got the loon.
She has the forest’s foliage; she’s got our caribou.
But even though she whines, this man’s one last resort.
From through his powerlines, he saved his favourite nations sport.

Chorus (Alt.):
For in this wonder winter land, there ain’t Canadian bands.
So on this land we stand, at thy US sons command.
There ain’t no madness to our plans, we only do it ‘cause we can.
Won’t stick our heads into their sands, won’t bend our fears, can’t lend our mans.
Not Korean, who’s African? Qu’est-ce que Cosmopolitan?
We don’t step in ‘til C-SPAN, in our Canadian Land.


A bit of literary context, I wrote this song back in January... It was snowing at the time, and I was just a bit under the weather. The first two lines were inspired by a combination of those two circumstances, and Annie was a bit sick at the time. The rest of the song took flight pretty rapidly after that. I wrote in the duration of about an hour, during a Mathematics period. Must've been feeling a little cynical at the time... And a little politcal, I'd imagine.

Found a Picture of Me
Hey... This is from a year ago, back when I was in France.
Damn, my hair was short back then.

User Image

I'm the guy in the middle.
The guys to the left of me are my lifelong pals, Jamie and Sasha, and the dames on my right are just some ladies in my class.

Please refer to my profile for instructions on stalking.

By the way, that building behind me is called Les Invalides, or better known as Notre Dame. Not a bad picture, eh?

My Current Position in Life
So I'm mildly unemployed now. I mean, I've got singing and voicework, but those aren't solid gigs. I finally riled up the spike to quit working at Hell's Theatre, and for the most part, I'm glad.

The problem is: Scratch has been mega-tight. The only reason I've lasted this long is because I stole an extra fifty bucks.

Wait, don't go phoning the police. I don't actually mean that I took money from the vault or something. On my last paycheck, they overpaid everyone by about fifty bucks or so. Since they can't just politely ask everyone to give the money back, all they're doing is reclaiming the money by reducting further paychecks. However, since that was my last paycheck, I won't have any furthers to swipe the dollars from.

Severance pay, much?

I guess I'm going to need to find a new job soon.

Toastbusters
Community Member
Toastbusters
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