BLONDE JOKES!!!!!!!!!!!
Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
Q: How'd this bucket of chicken get in our living room? A: Don't question it just eat it.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote? A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde that was treated at the emergency room for a concussion and severe head wounds? A: She tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungee cord.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio? A: It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed? A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer? A: There's whiteout on the screen.
Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer? A: There's writing on the whiteout.
Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose? A: When she farts, her knees bag.
Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree.
Q: How did the blonde burn her nose? A: Bobbing for French fries.
Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk? A: The cow fell on her.
Q: How did the blonde die ice-fishing? A: She was run over by the zambonis machine.
Q: How did the blonde get ready for Y2K? A: She changed all her y's to k's.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you? A: Tell her she's pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you? A: "Is it mine?"
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? A: Wave to her.
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy all day? A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle? A You shine a flashlight in her ear.
Q: How do you drown a blonde? A: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it.
Q: How does a blonde spell farm? A: E-I-E-I-O
Q: How does a blonde "high-5"? A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
Q: How does the blonde car pool work? A: They all meet at work at 7:45.
Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit? A: Two: one to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!
Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek? A: One.
Q: If you drop a blonde and a brunette from 100 ft, which hits the ground first? A: The brunette, because the blonde has to ask directions on the way down.
Q: What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine? A: She peed on her corn flakes.
Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? A: She turned it over and used the other side.
Q: What did the blonde get on her IQ test? A: Saliva.
Q: What did the blonde say about blonde jokes? A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.
Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase? A "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."
Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? A: "Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
Q: What do you call a blonde clutching at thin air? A: A woman collecting her
thoughts.
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? A: Last year's hide and seek champ.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A: A space invader.
Q: What do you call a really smart blonde? A: A golden retriever.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? A: Run like Hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Q: What does "Bones" McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde? A: "Space. The final frontier......"
Q: What does the postcard from a blonde's vacation say? A: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?
Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? A: Data transfer.
Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: What is the mating call of the blonde? A: "I'm "sooo" drunk!"
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde? A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? A: Proofreading.
Q: What's brown and red and black and blue? A: A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart? A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own.
Q: Why can't Blondes dial 911? A: They can't find the 11 on the phone!
Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes? A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light bulbs? A: She needed them for the darkroom she was building.
Q: Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall? A: To see what was on the other side.
Q:Why did the blonde jump off the building? A: She had just bought Always with wings.
Q: Why did the blonde keep putting quarters in the soda vending machine? A: Because she thought she was winning.
Q: Why did the blonde take 16 friends to the movies? A: Because the sign said "Under 17 not admitted!"
Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.
Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children? A: Because she heard that one child out of every four born was Chinese.
Q: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet? A: She thought it was diet coke.
Q: Why do all blondes have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead? A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!
Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs? A: Because they cant spell PORSHE
Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs? A: More leg room.
Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms? A: They're too hard to peel.
Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces? A: From eating with forks.
Q: Why do blondes have more fun? A1: Because they don't know any better. A2: They are easier to keep amused.
Q: Why do blondes have square boobs? A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes? A: Toes go in first.
Q: Why do blondes like lightning? A: They think someone is taking their picture.
Q: Why do blondes take the pill? A: So they know what day of the week it is.
Q: Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one? A: You have to hollow out the head.
Q: Why don't blondes double recipes? A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: They can't get their heads in the jar.
Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? A: She was throwing all the W's away.
Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID? A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Twilight_Juliet101 Community Member 
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