Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

my life in a nutshell the good the bad everything
darkness
why me why i scream this feeling i felt when i was a little girl has come back the dark side in me is back i fear it i know it it took over me as a child right after my father abandoned me i changed she took over grabbing his photos crying eyes flashing red grabbed a lighter flicked it on take in mind i was only 3 but she knew what she was doing she was trying to spare me pain so she was going to burn the picture but mom stopped her and then i came back out i cried and cried screaming i hated him and why did he have to leave me mom just replied hunny idk why maybe he was scared to be a father but sense that day a few days afterwards she took over again mom had her friend over and i cant remember why but she locked me in my room with a cord that attached to my door i grabbed the cord off and i swung it but it wasent me it was the dark side of me she hit my mom and her friend mom noticed her red eyes were now my eyes she wanted to make everyone pay she wanted to protect me same thing happened some reason her and mom fought she used all her strength and kicked my mom into a heater after that i got therapy she vanished but shes not gone i feel her in me she hates everyone except me and idk if its dark star or if i have another side as well one thing is she is part of me i fear her if she could hurt those i love before imagine what she could do to those that betray hurt me she protects me has sense i was a little girl as much as i fear her i embrace her shes strong not weak like me she knows all my pain she sends me warnings in my dreams too not trust ppl cause they will hurt me i dreamnt of amanda back stabbing me once again after my bf i slammed her against a wall and told her she could not nor will ever love him more then me she took off he went after her it was clear he wanted her so i got ontop of this fence leading to the water and rocks below and just as i screamed out to the air that i love him and cant live without him and was about to fall to my death he caught me held me told me he loved me and didnt want to live without me then i felt it something was wrong with amanda so we rushed over there i screamed i saw her laying on the floor blood on the floor my bf turned her arm over and said this scar then i woke up pretty ******** up dream yea i know but what can i say my mind is no longer the same the girl i use to be is back wanting to be free she tells me she can end all my pain and make them pay nobody now knows what goes on in my head because she takes over



life is what you make it so dont let it pass you by or live to regret it



 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum