I used to have fun here at Gaia. Now everytime i log on i feel depressed, i feel like i want to end this misery, this life. I want to start fresh but i cant because there is something pulling me back, i feel like where ever i go there is that force holding me back, And i can't escape its grasp. But it's not holding me back, Its the past, and it's pushing me forward. I am constantly trying to make things how they used to be, trying to get back to the past, but it is pushing me towards the endless misery of my future. i want to get back to my past, how things used to be but i can't and i am afraid. Afraid of what awaits me, afraid that i will never be able to get my friends back, or my bro or the love of my life because i abandoned them all and none of them want me..... Afraid of a life without them.
reg_of_hope Community Member 
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