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“What I desire, no man or woman can give me,” Sesshomaru began. “I have to accomplish it for myself.” He paused, not sure how to explain. Kagome nodded in encouragement.
“For as long as I can remember, it was my duty to follow in my father’s footsteps. However, awhile ago I realized that his battles are not my own. I must pave my own path if I am to truly be considered a lord of anything,” Sesshomaru looked at Kagome to see if she could understand.
“I see,” she said. “You want to be your own man. I wondered why you only traveled with Jaken. I mean…if your father was so well respected, why didn’t you have legions of demons under your command attempt to take the Tetsaiga?”
“Most of his servants died over half a century ago in the battle against the panther tribe.”
“I remember now. That was around the time Inuyasha was sealed to the tree right?”
Sesshomaru nodded. He looked at the piece of paper in Kagome’s hand. She followed his gaze.
“Oh right!” Kagome handed him the paper. “If your still around 400 years from now, could you meet me at this place and time?”
Sesshomaru read the writing. It was a little different from what he was use to, but he finally could make sense out of it. “The top of Tokyo Tower? On December 31st New Year’s Eve, midnight…What is the significance of this?”
“You’ll understand when the time comes,” Kagome said.
Sesshomaru folded the paper and placed it gently in his sleeve. “I’m going to get some sleep now,” she announced and curled up next to the snoring A-un.
Sesshomaru looked out at the night sky wondering what things would be like four hundred years from now. He had already lived for longer than that time span and had not seen much change in humans. Their weapons were slightly less primitive and they had a better concept of society. However, for each little advancement humans made, they lost something of their own identity as an entire race. Sesshomaru could remember when a small pack of humans would die to protect another from a powerful demon. Now, they mindlessly slaughtered each other for food and shelter. It went beyond territorial gains. Some did it for sport, others for a fleeting moment of honor. Would the foolish creatures learn better in the future? Or would they spend all their advances on destroying themselves?
Sesshomaru remembered his father’s words centuries ago. “Do not underestimate humans. Their desire to survive is far greater than any demon. In time, their fear of our kind will fade into a shadow of a memory. In time, humans will rule this land and tame it to their needs. I have a feeling that the time of demons is fading, Sesshomaru. You must not fade with it.”
It was strange that his father’s words would come back to him now. It was a warning to not be so stiff in one’s ways, but to adapt to the change of time like the trees adapted to the change of season. However, if demons did not breed with humans, wouldn’t the risk of their fading rule be diminished? Sesshomaru had believed this for so long. It was a mere rule for self preservation. As long as the number of pure-bred demons was great, they would forever rule. So why would his father, with all his premonitions of destruction, walk down that path willingly? Sesshomaru thought he had understood his father up until he fell in love with that human woman. He had promised himself that he would not make the same mistake. Nothing would stand in the way of his goal.
Sesshomaru looked over to the sleeping Kagome. There were still so many things he did not understand. Maybe in 400 years he would. Only time would tell.
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Kagome awoke feeling refreshed. She wondered if, after last night, Sesshomaru would be a little more agreeable. There were still so many things she wanted to ask him. Kagome yawned and stretched.
“No time for dallying woman,” came Jaken’s harsh voice. He began to mumble to himself about how strange it was that humans didn’t understand the importance of time when they had the least amount of time in the world.
“Where’s Sesshomaru,” Kagome asked after not seeing him.
“Lord Sesshomaru,” Jaken corrected. “He went ahead to find Naraku and made me stay behind with you until you woke up. Now let’s go!”
Kagome blinked the sleep from her eyes. Why would Sesshomaru do that? He could have simply woke her up. Kagome sighed, Back to his old self again…
“Hurry up woman! No, not on A-un. It’s daylight! You want to make it easier for Naraku to find us?” He looked around anxiously as if mentioning his name would bring his demons down upon them. Without Sesshomaru to protect him, Jaken was very much a coward.
Kagome was already annoyed with Jaken constantly be-rating her. However, there wasn’t much she could do about it right now. As they hurried to catch up to Sesshomaru, Kagome’s thoughts wondered back to Inuyasha and the others. She had to suppress the emotions that began to surface. It would do her no good to break down right now.
Finally, they spotted the white clothed youkai up ahead. Kagome realized that his wardrobe was not simply a statement of aristocracy. It also showed that he was not afraid of who or what spotted him, day or night. It was as if he were challenging the world to come and attack him.
Kagome suddenly remembered what her friends said about Sesshomaru being a model. Maybe they were closer to the truth than she had realized.
“My Lord, forgive me for being so late,” Jaken groveled. “That woman slept as if…”
“Quite Jaken,” Sesshomaru reminded. Jaken stammered into silence.
He turned to Kagome. She searched his face to see if any of last night’s hospitality remained. If so, she couldn’t tell.
“I sensed one of Naraku’s servants pass by not long ago. Use your power to see if it had a shard,” Sesshomaru ordered.
Nope. No hospitality what-so-ever. He could at least say "please."
Kagome closed her eyes and opened her mind to feeling that tingling sensation she felt whenever a jewel shard was near. At first she felt nothing. She searched a second time. There! It was very faint but she was sure of it. It was Kohaku’s shard. Kagome opened her eyes, but before she could answer she felt another tingling sensation. This time, it was not caused be spiritual senses.
Kagome slapped her neck. “Myoga…How nice to see you,” Kagome said. She pulled her hand away to find the flea demon squashed to her palm.
“Greetings Kagome. I have some very important news,” Myoga said once he regained his natural shape.
“It must be important if you’ve come closer than within a mile of Sesshomaru,” Kagome responded sincerely.
Myoga’s eyes darted to the youkai who stared at him with obvious annoyance. “Ah y-yes. As a matter of fact, it is.”
He hopped up to Kagome’s ear and whispered. “Can we talk about this somewhere less sinister, if you know what I mean?”
“Uh…sure,” she turned to Sesshomaru. “Can you excuse us for one moment?” Kagome rushed off before waiting for his reply.
Once Myoga felt they were at a relatively safe distance, Kagome asked, “What is it Myoga?”
“Well, a few days ago I went to visit Totosai. Before I even approached his cave I could sense something amiss. When I entered I found…I found…”
Kagome’s patience was wearing thin. Perhaps Sesshomaru’s moodiness was coming off on her. “Out with it Myoga,” she urged.
“Inuyasha! Master Inuyasha and your other friends were all banged up. It was an aweful sight. However, Totosai has been taking good care of them. Inuyasha was the first one to recover, naturally, and he insisted on finding you. None of us had known were you’d gone or could find any trace of you. It was all Totosai could do to convince Master Inuyasha from rushing off in a brash heat. I volunteered to find you in his stead,” he finished proudly.
Kagome felt the world drop from her. All the feelings she had been holding back rushed forth like water from a broken dam. Distantly she heard herself say, “Inuyasha? He’s alive? And everyone else? They’re all…ok?”
“Yes. I’ve been searching high and low for you. Luckily the birds…” Myoga continued to recite his journey, but Kagome wasn’t listening. She had to get to Totosai as fast as possible and make sure that this wasn’t all just a dream.
Kagome ran back to Sesshomaru. She didn’t stop to catch her breath. In gasp she told him, “Inuyasha…he’s…he’s alive! I…I have to get to Totosai.”
Sesshomaru’s eyebrow arched, a sign that he was as surprised as she. “Very well. If you must,” he said finally.
“Can…can you take me?” Kagome asked. “Please?”
Sesshomaru turned away, “I believe you already have transportation.”
Kagome looked confused, “Huh? What do you mean?”
Myoga explained, “Hachi isn’t too far back. He’s waiting for us.” He mumbled, “The cowardly raccoon-dog sent me off to face danger on my own.”
“Oh…” Kagome bowed to Sesshomaru, “Thank you, for all your help.”
On their way to Hachi, Kagome glanced back in hopes of seeing Sesshomaru once more. He was gone.
How come whenever I find one, I lose the other? Kagome wondered once she was riding in the air on top of Hachi.
As Kagome walked away, Jaken looked up to his master. Lord Sesshomaru's eyes followed her for a moment, then he turned in the opposite direction. Jaken had a feeling, but it was simply too absurd to give credit.
"Let's go Jaken," Sesshomaru called.
Stammering, Jaken forgot the look he had just seen in his master's eyes and followed. It happened so quickly, he may have imagined it.
Without thinking, Jaken asked, "Why did you not go with the woman, Lord Sesshomaru? Rin must be among them." Despite how annoying the little human girl could be, he had grown fond of her. She was a nice contrast to Sesshomaru's silence.
When he did not answer, Jaken continued, "She must be looking forward to seeing us My Lord. And besides, Inuyasha is probably still too weak to--"
"Quiet Jaken," Sesshomaru's voice was dangerously low.
Oh no! I've done it again. Now my lord is going to kill me for sure. Jaken could feel his knees shake. He closed his eyes expecting the inevitable. After a moment, nothing happened. He opened an eye and looked around. Lord Sesshomaru had begun to walk in the direction of Totosai's lair.
"Wait here," Sesshomaru commanded.
Jaken dared to study his face but it was unreadable as always. Was Lord Sesshomaru going to head over to that fool of a blacksmith after all?
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"Hachi?" Kagome asked before they reached Totosai. "How did Inuyasha and the others survive?"
Hachi replied proudly, "I was following Master Miroku's scent. You see, I uh...ran into a little trouble and needed his advice."
Kagome could only imagince what kind of trouble the raccoon-dog had gotten into this time.
"Anyway," he continued. "I sensed something terribly. There was an evil atmosphere around a particular mountain where Master Miroku was. When I went to investigate, I found him and the rest of the group under a pile of debris."
"So they didn't fall over the cliff like I did?" Kagome sighed in relief, "Thank goodness."
"I honestly don't know how they could have survived, but they did. However, if I hadn't come along, they would have been crushed."
"You did a very good job Hachi. Thank you," Kagome said with all sincerity.
Finally, they reached Totosai's cave. Kagome could barely wait to see her friends. They were already waiting outside for her. With a cry of joy, the friends ran to each other. The reunion was sweet and Kagome shed a few tears of joy.
"Where's Rin?" she asked finally. She looked around but didn't see the girl anywhere.
"Don't worry Kagome. She's with Totosai right now," Inuyasha said.
Kagome went inside to see how the girl was doing. "Hello Totosai, how is she?"
The demon blacksmith cleared his throat, "She just dozed off not too long ago. Do you want some tea?"
The gang sat around a cozy little fire Totosai had kindled. Kagome looked around contently. It was just like old times. All her friends sat around talking and fighting over who ate the last fish.
When things settled down, Kagome asked how they were able to survive. It was Inuyasha who remembered most. After Kilala had growled, the mudslide came down on them. Miroku opened his wind tunnel to try and suck in the debris, but more kept coming. It was all he could do to keep the boulders from crushing them. Inuyasha used Tetsaiga's Wind Scar which softned the earth and blew away most of the heavy boulders while the other to cover behind him. Despite the heavy scent of earth, Inuyasha could smell two things. The first was Naraku. He knew their enemy was near and probably about to try and finish them off. The second was the absence of Kagome. Inuyasha was going to turn and see where she had gone to, but Naraku attacked with beams of lightning. Miroku put up a ward, but he had used most of his strength with the wind tunnel. Inuyasha couldn't see Naraku, nor could he leave the protection of the shield. More earth fell on them and covered them.
"In retrospect," Sango said, "It was probably a good thing the earth covered us. Naraku must have mistook us for dead then."
"If it hadn't been for Miroku's sheild or the Tetsaiga we would have been goners," Shippo added and Kilala mewed in agreement.
"Humph. Well, we're alright now and Naraku has no idea. If only I knew where he was, I could take him by surprise," Inuyasha griped.
"How did you survive, Kagome? I thought you went over the cliff," Miroku asked.
Kagome told them what had happened. They were all very shocked to learn that Sesshomaru had saved her. Inuyasha's reaction was a little less predictable. Kagome had expected him to be happily surpised. She thought that this slight change of heart on Sesshomaru's part would cause Inuyasha to think a little better of his brother. However, Inuyasha said nothing.
Kagome studied his face. Inuyasha looked as if he were struggling with something inside. She ventured to ask what was wrong but his ears perked forward. A slight breeze had come into cave and Inuyasha sniffed the air.
Totosai looked up, "Now what could he want?"
"I'm about to find out right now," Inuyasha growled as he got to his feet and left the cave. Kagome didn't need to ask who they were talking about. She could sense the jewel shard she had given Sesshomaru.
Kagome ran outside.
"Maybe we should follow them," she heard Shippo say.
"No. It's best to leave let those two sort things out on their own," Miroku explained.
Kagome saw Inuyasha facing down Sesshomaru. "What are you doing here?" he demanded.
"That is none of your business. Step aside," Sesshomaru ordered.
Inuyasha unsheathed Tetsaiga, "Make me." He glared at Sesshomaru, poised to counter any move the older demon used.
Sesshomaru looked up at Kagome. He stepped around Inuyasha. Actually, to Kagome "step" was not quite what she saw. He was far too agile for her to follow. One second he was on one side of Inuyasha, the next, behind him.
"You forgot this," Sesshomaru took the jewel shard out of his sleeve and handed it to her.
Kagome blinked. She wasn't convinced that he had come all this way just to return the jewel shard. Still, she held out her hand and let him place it in her palm. "You could have held on to it a little longer," Kagome said.
"WHAT!" Inuyasha yelled. "You gave him a shard? You didn't tell me that."
Kagome was preturbed that Inuyasha was being so ungrateful all of a sudden, "I didn't think it mattered."
"Didn't matter? What if he used it?"
"I have no use for such things," Sesshomaru cut in. He glared at Inuyasha, "Unlike you."
Inuyasha turned on Sesshomaru, "You shut up. You've returned the shard now get out of here before I kill you."
"Inuyaha!" Kagome moved before she realized it. The tension in the air was so thick it intoxicated her. Her hand came down across his face. "Sesshomaru has done a lot for me. For all of us!" she yelled. "The least you could do is be a little more kind."
Inuyasha stared at Kagome in amazement. He looked from her to Sesshomaru and didn't like what he saw. Not willing to back down, Inuyasha stepped between the both of them. Kagome could sense the power battle going on between the two brothers. If they were going to fight, there would be nothing she could do to stop them.
His back tensed, "Why are you protecting him, Kagome? He doesn't care about anything or anyone but himself."
Sesshomaru voice was laced with violence, "Continue to threaten me, dear brother, and it will be the last thing you ever do."
"Bring it, then." Inuyasha charged Sesshomaru, but was too slow. In a moment, Sesshomaru had switched from a defensive to offensive. Inuyasha could barely block the fierce attacks from Tokijin.
Kagome couldn't take it anymore. She was so happy a few minutes ago to find her friends alive. Now Inuyasha was intent on fighting the one who helped make the reunion possible. They were both being so stubborn.
Kagome screamed, "Stop it! The two of you stop it right now!"
Her scream made Inuyasha hesitate, earning him a slice across the belly. "Argh. You'll pay for that," he declared. Inuyasha put some distance between his brother. Kagome felt the wind change and knew what was coming. He was about to use the Wind Scar.
The words were forming on her mouth, but she couldn't voice them. She watched with horror as the Tetsaiga unleashed one of its most powerful attacks on Sesshomaru.
Sesshomaru anticipated the attack. He dodged in enough time to save his life, but not escape damage. He recovered, but not fast enough. Inuyasha was relentless. Another Wind Scar formed on Tetsaiga.
Kagome ran without thinking. She simply knew that if she could get between the two, they would stop. Sesshomaru poised to counter Inuyasha's attack. It wouldn't be enough to defeat the Wind Scar, but it would prevent it from causing too much damage. The two powers moved in to collide, but Kagome could not stop running toward them.
"Stop it! Stop it!" she repeated. They were so blinded by their hatred, they would destroy each other right here in a second. She tripped over a stone imbedded into the ground
"Kagome! Get out the way," Inuyasha screamed. She was right inbetween the two attacks.
Sesshomaru acted first. As fast as light itself, he caught her in his arm and moved her out of the full blast of energy. The ground exploded from beneath them and they fell. Dust and dirt filled the air. Kagome was lieing on her back coughing and sneazing. She could hear Inuyasha calling her.
She cleared the dirt from her eyes and looked up to see Sesshomaru sheilding her.
"Kagome!" Inuyasha called. He rushed to her side, no longer concerned about Sesshomaru's presence. "Kagome, I'm so sorry." He moved to pull Kagome from underneath Sesshomaru.
Kagome sensed something wrong. "Sesshomaru, are you ok?"
His eyes were slightly unfocused. He moved to stand, but fell to his knees. Blood trickled down the side of his face. He coughed, and blood came forth into his hand.
"Sesshomaru!" Kagome pushed Inuyasha's hand away and rushed to his side. She noticed she did not have a single scratch and realized he had taken the brunt of the two attacks in order to sheild her from any harm.
Sesshomaru managed to stand, but the blood would not stop coming. His armor crumbled and fell. Kagome could see a bruise forming across his chest. If he had moved any slower, she was positive that they'd both be dead.
"Please, don't try to stand. I think you're hurt internally." Kagome had heard of occasions in which people died because they didn't realize they were wounded from within.
"Kagome," Inuyasha tried to stop her, but she shrugged him off.
Sesshomaru tried to protest as well, but only blood came out. How much could he lose before he passed out? Kagome wasn't willing to find out. There was already a fine pool on the ground. She could tell his body was weakening, even though he refused to show it.
"Stop trying to be some kind of tough guy and let me help you," she scolded. This was not the time to proove how strong one could be. She turned to Inuyasha, "Help me get him inside."
"What? Are you serious?"
"Inuyasha," she warned. "He's only hurt because he tried to save me, again. If that doesn't give you a reason to help him then...Then, I'm not sure I want to be around you anymore!"
Sesshomaru managed to breath. He wiped the blood away from his mouth. "Foolish...woman." *cough*
Kagome got under his arm to support him. They walked back to the cave while Inuyasha stood behind dumbfounded. Her friends were already outside wondering what had just happen. Kagome didn't feel like explaining right now. She was begining to get a headache.
After some protesting, Totosai finally agreed to allow Sesshomaru to enter his workshop.
Kagome slipped into nurse mode and placed Sesshomaru down on some soft straw. She hurriedly shouted orders to her comrades to boil some water, find some herbs, and get her first aid kit out of her book bag. The situation must have been confusing for them, because they obeyed without question.
"There is no need," Sesshomaru protested. He coughed more blood.
"Just lie there, Sesshomaru," Kagome ordered. "We'll have you patched up in a jiffy."
Sesshomaru arched an eyebrow, but said nothing more. Breathing was hard enough.
"Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin rubbed sleep from her eyes. When she saw what was going on she cried, "Lord Sesshomaru are you alright!"
"He'll be ok, Rin," Shippo assured. "Let's go find some medicine, ok?"
Rin nodded and went off with the kitsune looking back every few steps.
Good going Shippo, Kagome thought. The next step in her makeshift surgery would not be something the young girl should see. I hope I'm doing this right.
"Ok Sesshomaru, disrobe."
"WHAT?" he and Miroku, who hung back to make sure Kagome was safe, said in unison.
"Only the hakama shirt. I need to see your back." Kagome had noticed a hole in the shirt earlier when she helped him to the cave. His back was covered in blood.
Sesshomaru simply stared at her. "I'm serious. Or do I need to get Miroku to do it?"
"Who, me?" Miroku's face was a picture of horror.
"Well you have studied medicine, haven't you monk?"
"I-I uh...prefer to practice on...err...Hey I think I hear Sango calling me." Miroku slipped out the cave leaving Kagome alone.
"That lecherous coward..." she grumbled. He could have at least stayed behind.
Kagome looked back at her patient at a lost for words. She never had to handle injuries on such a large scale. Some of his minor scrapes had already healed, but it was the major injuries that worried her.
"Just for a moment, Sesshomaru. Let me at least clean the blood off."
After a minute, he nodded and peeled off the hakama. It was sticky with blood. There would be no use cleaning it this time.
Kagome tore off a piece of the already shredded fabric and soaked it in a bucket of heated water. She reminded herself not to stare at him, and gently placed it on his back. Kagome did the same with a few more shreds until his back was covered. She was still at a lost for words and had no idea how to handle internal bleeding.
If the blood is getting into his lungs, he could have a broken rib or something. I'll check that first.
Knowing what she was about to ask would not sound proper no matter how she put it, Kagome fought down her blushing and told Sesshomaru what she was about to do. "I just need to see if anything thing is broken," she explained.
Kagome stayed behind him so she wouldn't have to bare his studying gaze. As she felt each rib, the heat rose to her face. "If I push on something that hurts, let me know," she said quietly.
I can see why Miroku chickened out. Where are they anyway?
Kagome's mind began to wander as her hands worked around his sides. Her friends would never let her live this down if she told them. For a moment, she wondered how they would handle the situation. If Hojo were around, he'd probably know exactly what to do. Even Akitoki was well versed in medicine.
A cool hand pressed against hers and brought Kagome back to reality. "Huh?" To her shame, she realized her hands were going toward his waist. "Oh! Uh...sorry. I lost my train of thought. Um, did anything hurt?"
"No." His voice sounded a little clearer, but there was still the gurgle of blood in his throat. Kagome remembered whenever her sinuses drained; she rubbed her throat to break up the coagulation.
"I know what to do now! Press your middle and index finger against your throat and rub in small circles. That should clear out some of the blood."
Sesshomaru looked back at her, leery, but he obeyed. She was right, after a few moments of coughing more blood, Sesshomaru's voice was clear. Moreover, because nothing seemed broken inside, chances were he'd be able to recover himself with trouble. All she had to do was make him comfortable.
The sky was still very dark. Dawn must still be a few hours away. Kagome figured she could steal a few hours of sleep before daylight. She pulled off the wet cloth on his back and cleaned them. The skin was burned, but even now, she could see tender pink flesh coming through.
And I thought Inuyasha healed fast.
She placed more wet cloth on his wounds, just to make sure. "Sesshomaru? Why did you save me?"
The question must have caught him off guard, for she saw his shoulders tense. He answered simply, "Inuyasha was too slow."
Kagome shook her head, "No that's not what I mean. You didn't have to save me at any point. But you did...why?" Kagome could remember how Sesshomaru apathetically watched Naraku throw Kikyo into the fiery river.
"I'm not sure," he said finally.
"Eh?" Kagome blinked. Not sure? What's that suppose to mean?
"Well," she pressed. "You could have brought me back again with Tensaiga again, instead of putting yourself in danger." Kagome put her hands over her mouth. She didn't want him to know that she knew he had revived her. It would probably make him taciturn.
"Again? So you figured it out..." Sesshomaru let his words trail off. "If I were in any real danger from the Wind Scar, this sword would have shielded me. It has before."
That's right. That was the day Inuyasha first learned how to use the Wind Scar. So that's how Sesshomaru survived last time.
"You were still hurt...because of me," Kagome's eyes drifted to his severed arm. She was glad his back was still turned. "I'm sorry."
Sesshomaru turned to say something, but Inuyasha stepped inside. Automatically, the older brother's hand went to his sword. "Do you wish to finish what we started?"
"Feh. I wouldn't waste my time on you when you're like that," Inuyasha huffed. Kagome thought she heard Miroku and Sango behind him, but figured it was her imagination.
Inuyasha scratched his ear and glanced at Sesshomaru. "I just wanted to say I'm...sorry." His apology came out with difficulty and half mumbled, but it was there. More whispers came from behind.
"Alright already," Inuyasha grumbled to the disembodied voices. He glared at Sesshomaru, "Thanks. For saving Kagome."
Sesshomaru's grip on Tokijin, with equally difficulty, relaxed.
"Kagome," he turned to her sheepishly. "I never wanted you to get hurt. Please forgive me." This time his apology was unquestionably sincere.
"It's alright Inuyasha. I was the one who got in the way."
Inuyasha glanced uneasily at Sesshomaru and then back to Kagome, "Can I talk to you, alone?"
Kagome was about to tell Inuyasha that whatever he had to say he could say it in front of Sesshomaru, but the look in his eye told her that wasn't true. She stood and brushed some hay from her skirt.
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They had found a nice quite spot in the barren land away from the cave. The few bushes scattered about would offer poor shelter for spies.
"What is it Inuyasha?" Kagome asked. In her heart, she feared she already knew what was coming. It was woman's intuition.
Inuyasha exhaled. "I know we haven't been as close lately," he began. "But...my feelings for you...they haven't changed, Kagome."
"Inuyasha...I," she started to cut in.
"I know. Yours have."
"Eh?"
"Your feelings for me, they've changed. Haven't they?"
Kagome looked at her feet. She did not want to admit it. However, deep down inside, she knew the truth. Inuyasha had been a great companion and a wonderful friend. She would not exchange the time they shared for the entire world. However, the past few weeks had proved, enlightening to her. She realized that her love for Inuyasha was not what she had thought. Could it have been some silly schoolgirl crush all along? It was very possible that she was swept up in the rush of change and simply found Inuyasha a conveniently placed boulder in a river of confusion. What if Sesshomaru had been the one pinned to the tree? Would she have fallen for him first? After much consideration, Kagome realized, she would have.
What about her jealousy toward Kikyo? Kagome knew the answer to that immediately. Kikyo had hurt her pride. She had believed Inuyasha would fall madly in love with her, but instead, he was already in love with Kikyo. The truth was they had never stopped loving each other. Their feelings were simply frozen in time. In fact, had Naraku never gotten between them, the two would have lived happily ever after, and Inuyasha would never have wanted anyone else.
That's why I could never feel close to him. Kagome realized. It was not because Kikyo was back. It was because with or without Kagome, Inuyasha's first true love was Kikyo. Not even time could change that. Kagome would always be second. On the other hand, Sesshomaru made her feel...different. Despite his nonchalance, whenever she was around him, she felt like she was the only woman in the world. She didn't worry about being a third wheel or being similar to any lover from the past. With Sesshomaru, she felt unlike any other woman. Frankly, he was unlike any other man. Even though some of his personality traits were similar to Inuyasha, one thing remained different. Though Sesshomaru kept things simple, inside he was a deep thinker. She could sense a hunger inside him that burned with passion. It intrigued her, absorbed her. She found herself wanting to be a part of that passion.
Kagome's eyes slowly went from her feet to meet Inuyasha's. She no longer felt the heat rise to her face whenever she looked into his eyes. Kagome nodded. The confirmation brought tears to her eyes, but they were of neither sadness nor joy. She was sorry if she had hurt Inuyasha, no one wants to hurt a friend. However, she was quite relieved to now understand some of the feelings that had been whirling inside her since day one. "I'm sorry. I do care about you but...not like I thought I did."
It was Inuyasha's turn to look at his feet. His fist slowly clenched and unclenched. "Why Sesshomaru? Of all people? No, never mind. It's not my business."
Kagome thought she saw some tears wet the ground, but in the waning moonlight, it was hard to tell. "Inuyasha... will you be ok?"
"Yeah," he still did not look up at her.
"Do you still want me to travel with you?" she asked uncertainly.
He looked up, if he had been crying, his tears had dried quickly. "If you want to."
Kagome nodded. Though she no longer loved Inuyasha in the deeper meaning, she felt it was best that they finished the journey they had begun together.
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The sun came up as if it didn't want to. It cast no brilliant glow across the land or gave any warmth. Even so, Kagome felt at peace. Sesshomaru looked fully recovered. It seemed to ointments and herbs they used last night helped him heal supernaturally. Despite knowing that demons and half-demons were more resilient than humans were, the novelty never ceased to amaze her. Last night seemed no more than a dream.
But it wasn't a dream. One look around the cave and Kagome knew that. Her friends were alive, Sesshomaru had put her life before his, and she and Inuyasha broke off the last string of hope for romance. There was only one more thing she had to do before moving on with a clear conscience.
It's one thing to love someone. It's another to know if they love you back. Kagome wasn't looking forward to asking Sesshomaru about his feelings, or if he had any to begin with. He'll probably look at me like I'm crazy and then walk away. Even if that was the case, Kagome knew if she didn't tell him now, she may not have another peaceful moment to do so. Or the courage.
While the others were packing up, Kagome went back to Sesshomaru. He still sat on the same straw from last night. One leg was bent so his arm could rest on his knee. He didn't look up or acknowledge Kagome's presence. This is going to be harder than I thought. Kagome could already feel herself blushing again. She never blushed so much back home.
"Um, Sesshomaru? Are you busy?" she asked stupidly. He said nothing.
"Before I go, I...I wanted to ask you if you still had that paper I gave the night before?"
Sesshomaru finally looked up at her, probably trying to figure out what significance her question had. "Yes."
Kagome bowed at the waist and said quickly, "If in 400 years you ever love me...meet me there. Only come then."
Before waiting for his reply or even seeing a reaction, Kagome ran out into the open air. She thought she was going to faint.
"You ready Kagome?" Inuyasha asked. She nodded. Once more, the group set off on their adventure. Kagome thoughts trailed to that little piece of paper. In 5 years from her time, 400 years from the feudal era, on New Year's Eve, she would finally find out if love could truly cross time. It did for Inuyasha and Kikyo, why not her? Defeating Naraku was probably going to be easier than understanding how love worked.
Kagome looked up at the night sky. The lights in Tokyo city were far too bright to see any stars, but she could still picture them up there. Five years had passed sense she last went through the Bone Eaters Well. However, the experience still had an impact on her life. Her friends had once commented that she seemed to have matured since junior high.
*flashback*
"What do you mean by matured?" Kagome blinked at her friends.
"Weelll, not that you aren't quite mature for your age," Eri explained. "What we mean is you seem to be surer of yourself. Like you've learned how to be your own person. You're like a whole new kind of Kagome."
"I'm a...new Kagome?"
They laughed as they walked toward the train station. "So whatever happened between those guys you told us about? You know, the two brothers you liked?" Yuka asked.
"They'll probably never settle their differences," Kagome answered.
Yuka pointed an accusing finger at Kagome, "You know what I mean. Don't play coy with me. Tell us the dirty details."
Eri, and surprisingly Ayumi, also moved in closer to hear. "W-what! Nothing happened between us. I swear!"
"Oh really? You mean to tell us that a beautiful young girl can go into the past and find several different suitors. But she doesn’t choose any of them?” Eri said. “Does that mean you’ve picked Hojo?”
“Ah…well.” What could Kagome tell them? That she professed her love to guy that she only hoped loved her back and would find her 400 years from his time? They’d think it romantic, and follow her around for the rest of her life; waiting for the fateful day when her true love arrives. At least, that’s how Ayumi would put it.
“Um…well, I did tell Sesshomaru that I loved him, but I never got a response.”
“Oh, going with the hot older guys,” Yuka laughed. “No wonder our Kagome has become a little more mature.”
They all laughed again and, to Kagome’s relief, dropped the subject.
*end flashback*
Kagome sighed. She had gone through high school and most of college without looking at a man. It wasn’t too hard. Kagome simply focused her attention to her studies and looked forward to seeing Sesshomaru again someday. Because she spent more time in books than worrying about finding a boyfriend, Kagome rose to the higher rankings of her class. Math had still been difficult, but staying in one era had improved her chances of catching up. The teachers had decided her miraculous recovery of all ailments and rise to honors was worthy of note. It helped her get into a very prestigious academy, despite her denial of every having the many diseases her grandfather made up.
Winter break would soon end. Afterward, she’d enter her last year of college. Life passed away so quickly. At age 21, Kagome decided she’d have to take advantage of her youth while it lasted. Even if Sesshomaru never comes…
He’ll come, she assured herself. With each passing minute, Kagome had to banish the doubt from her mind.
Kagome glanced at her watch. 11:55 p.m. She still had five minutes to hope. Anything could happen in five minutes. Kagome studied the people below. Crowds of people looked up at the digital clock countdown to New Year. Some were already drunk.
What a way to enter the new year…incoherent and unconscious. She sighed and moved away from a couple next to her that had begun a very frisky make-out session. Or pregnant.
Kagome caught herself. For the first time in awhile, she was acting bitter. She looked at her watch again. 11:57 p.m. Her mind began racing through the past. Did she remember to tell him exactly where to meat her? He could be waiting for her in another building, or on another floor.
Or he could not be coming. If a lot could happen in five minutes, even more could occur in 400 years.
Shouts rose up from the ground. The crowd was counting down the seconds ‘til midnight. Kagome looked about frantically. Her heart pounded in her ears.
“5...4...3...2...”
Kagome could feel hot tears well up in her eyes. She could hear the fireworks shooting off. People cheered, toasted, and kissed. They wished each other a Happy New Year. Kagome saw and heard it all like she was looking out from a glass bowl at a completely different world. She didn’t want to admit it, but it felt as if a weight had dropped on her entire body. Dizziness overcame her, but she vaguely felt strong arms pull her up.
Kagome looked about to see who held her. She found herself gazing into familiar golden yellow eyes. Déjà vu. Choking back tears Kagome cried, “Sesshomaru.”
“I’m late,” he said.
The simple statement, the reassuring sound of his voice that told her “this is not a dream,” broke her tears free. She cried into his shoulder. Sesshomaru held her delicately, not quite sure if there was anything else he should do. After a moment, Kagome ended her sobs with a shuddering sigh. She marveled at how warm he felt compared to the cold air and smelled his familiar scent of freshly fallen leaves. They remained that way for a long time. Kagome wasn’t sure of the exact time, but the entire floor was empty by the time she lifted her head.
Kagome felt strong enough to speak now. She looked him over and noted a few changes to his appearance. First, he had cut his hair to elbow length. Also, his markings had disappeared. But the most notable change was the fact that he held her with two arms.
“Sesshomaru,” Kagome said again. She wanted to stay in his embrace forever, but knew they would have to leave soon. Besides, there were so many questions she wanted to ask him. “H-how?” she indicated to his arm.
“Myoelectric arm.” When he saw that she did not understand, he explained briefly, “It uses electricity to simulate touch.”
Kagome held his new hand for a long time and smiled. This was not a change she had expected. “And what about your markings?”
Sesshomaru took both her hands in his and lightly kissed her fingers, “I did not wait 400 years to discuss my appearance.”
Goosebumps rose on Kagome’s flesh and she blushed sheepishly. She let him wrap her in the fold of his wool trench coat and reveled in the warmth of his hard body. Kagome felt utterly safe. They started down the elevator in silence. It wasn’t the awkward kind of silence, but the kind that need not be interrupted with pointless speech.
Once outside, Kagome tugged Sesshomaru in the direction of the carnival. It was going to be open for 24 hours in celebration of the New Year. She could not stop smiling, nor did she want to. “Let’s ride the Ferris wheel!”
They found an open booth and rode all the way to the top. Fireworks were still lighting up the sky. Sesshomaru wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Kagome could not think of anything that would make this moment more romantic. On the second time around, the wheel creaked to a halt. Commotions arose from different booths as people looked around to see what was wrong.
Ok, maybe one more thing could make this better. Kagome noticed that they had stopped at the very top. It was like out of a romance novel. She and Sesshomaru sat there watching the fireworks, waiting for someone to fix the Ferris wheel.
She felt Sesshomaru tensed and looked up to see what was wrong. He leaned in closely, and gently moved the hand that was not already around her to the nape of her neck. Kagome felt herself blushing again as she deeply gazed into his eyes.
Fine, two things could make this moment better. Kagome closed her eyes and moved in as close as possible. She had never kissed a man before, not like this. A thousand worries crossed her mind. However, once she felt his firm lips press against her soft ones, all worries vanished. Kagome maneuvered her arms around his neck to get more comfortable, thus pulling him closer. He affectionately stroked a hand through her hair.
Kagome heard herself thinking with astonishment about how tender he was being. Nothing from her previous encounters with him hinted at gentleness. Was it something he developed over the years, or did he simply never have an outlet for his passion?
The wheel jolted and began to move once more. Reluctantly, they pulled away. Kagome was still blushing and was now lightheaded. A couple behind them giggled. Hand-in-hand, they strolled around looking at the vendors.
“Are you hungry?” Sesshomaru asked suddenly.
Though it was past 1:00 am. Kagome felt her stomach rumble. She was still in a daze from the kiss. “A little.”
“What would you like?”
“Let’s grab some pizza. I saw a vendor not too far away.”
After finding the vendor, they spent all night filling in the gaps. Sesshomaru had passed the centuries adapting to human rule. He had traveled the world studying customs with mild interest, until the turn of the last century. Life had never looked more vibrant, nor the world more populous. During the two world wars, he began to build a neutral empire of trade. The humans were quite eager to offer millions in exchange of miscellaneous goods. It was a way for him to integrate himself into society, without directly dealing in human affairs. Even now, only a handful has seen the man who ran the multi-national company. Its headquarters were once stationed in Japan, but moved to North America after World War 2. This, he explained, was the reason for his tardiness. Booking a flight out of Chicago in the dead of winter during the holiday season was near impossible.
Kagome laughed, “You’ve changed a little.”
Sesshomaru arched an eyebrow. Dawn was approaching and he walked Kagome back to her apartment.
“Yeah. You seem a little less…tense.”
“I suppose.”
Finally, they reached seven-story building. “Here I am,” Kagome announced once they reached her room. She hesitated, not knowing if she should invite him in or not. How would he interpret the offer? Would he think it crude?
Kagome unlocked the door. She decided it would be rude not to at least invite him inside. From what she could tell, he didn’t have a hotel or any luggage. Would he want to stay? She hoped so.
“Kagome?” Sesshomaru said from behind. She turned around and found her lips pressed against his once more. This kiss did not last as long as before, but it was no less passionate.
He held her close and whispered in her ear. Kagome remembered having a dream like this a long time ago.
“I will love you forever,” he whispered. “Be my wife.”
Were it not for his strong embrace, Kagome knew without a doubt she would have fainted from happiness. She could barely speak, and nodded her head vigorously. “Yes,” she managed to choke out.
Sesshomaru pulled away and smiled. It was the first time Kagome saw such a beautiful smile cross his face. His smile was contagious. It made the world seem brighter and life look a little more appealing. No longer hesitant, Kagome opened the door and let him inside her apartment. The sun began to rise on the New Year, but the couple only had eyes for each other.
 little tigeress · Thu Sep 14, 2006 @ 07:27am · 0 Comments |
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