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idk lifes just so confusinf lately. there ha ve been so many suicides of people i kno or my friedns were close to. . . and its really sad, and my frien he was joking around with me i had a depressing song lyric up and he said i was slitting my writs again but im not and i dont plan on it, and he said i was suicidal and wit the recent events he had the nerve and that made me really depressed, he doesnt know the eternnal and internal pain i live with, the pain of knowing that i was once a cutter, once a cutter always a cutter, and the fact the scars make me want to do it more to fix my problems, that my friends aer depressed maniacs and im destined to join them, that i need to remind myself constantly not to over drink, or over smoke if i do because i will do something bad and end up in the hospital, the fear that my friend is going to rehab again, the fear my friend has a knife under her bed. . . . .that i gave her. . . . . that someday its all going to catch up to me and its scary. . .[/
 Bitsy Hippie · Mon Nov 29, 2004 @ 11:03pm · 0 Comments |
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so im going to my grandparents today
last night was really thanksgiving
i was at the football game proforming as always
and they made the announcement
that the football game was in honor of not two but three deaths
greg gatto god sayign is almost makes me cry so i wont, young, and a girl in wellesely, my friend also lost someone dear to her in isreal wehre shes originally from to suicide. . . . . .
but i went to marcs last night family friends
adn me mark adn their friend steph all hung out then she left and meand marcwerechillin in the basement
god i wantedto ksis him
and hes playing me s**t on teh guitar and im siting there drinking guava juice he gave me
and im like this is the perfect thanksgiving, im not bored, im not over fed and im defintally surrounded by amazing people
today goin to the berkshires, gonan go tothe outlet mall...hehe. . . . .
i lvoe you all
Bitsy Hippie · Fri Nov 26, 2004 @ 01:27pm · 0 Comments |
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first entry, and this reminds me so much of my xanga, i could puke *my blog*
mhhhh ill write in that more than this, but i think this is pretty cool, because now only a slect group can see this, gaia, but my webiste anyone can see. . .
i have colorgaurd this morning from 11-2, blah i sooooo dont want to go, but the evil thing *our coach* wont be there yay! biggrin
Bitsy Hippie · Sat Sep 25, 2004 @ 03:13pm · 0 Comments |
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