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Yes, it may only have been half a year but quite a lot has changed since then
Revenge is...a miserable idea. Now you're probably thinking I'm out of my mind but maybe because I'm a novice at such a concept. The feeling that brings about the idea of revenge I know too well...it's all I've truly known for the last three months. I sought my revenge and I got what I wanted. I broke his heart and made him into a cold monster who feeds off hatred and pain like a vampiric child who only wants blood, blood, blood, blood, so much so the world could drown in it.

And this is my apology to you. I was wrong for what I did...but that doesn't mean I take it back.

You were hell bent on destroying my personality and snapping me so I conform into your perfect little woman.

And to you Lonely Boy, the one who found a home in me...I...don't know where we end anymore. I wonder how differently we would be if...that day never happened. We would look at each other as strangers, never lovers, pain stricken lovers who fall away every night in the memories of what could never have been.

If I could have one wish, no matter how ridiculuos or porposterous it would be, I would ask for every racist son of a b***h to wake up one day and realize they were wrong. They were wrong for making slave trade, killing jews and gypses, bledging gays and lesbians with blunt objects, putting japanese in interment camps and cages. I can dream right...it's not illegal (yet)

But something as grand as RACISM, I'll never see the end of that fight.

We should have just left it at, "you're sweet, you're cute, you're a good kisser, and a warm blanket in the midst of fall." Why did it come to, "I love you, I do and I'll always be there for you."? Because let's be real...neither of us we're ready for it. Despite what the critics say, you never stopped loving that temptress shrew of a woman and it's because you're quite the masocist. So I forgive you but not for what you think I would forgive you for.

And to my evil half: I probably shouldn't give up so easily and it's people like you that I wish I could read minds and see into the future. We could have been something so grand. So beautiful. A blind man seeing the sun for the first, his tears would not compare to the heaven and hell would could have created from something as simple as a staring contest. But...you have a haze on your eyes that I cannot clear up or maybe I'm too scared to make you see...what I can never say in words.

For now Trouble is all I know and his connected to me at the hip. We stand together running around the edges of oblivion, ready to jump in if the world should reject us. Half a year later, a lot has truly change. I didn't see that coming.