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Looking back on my past entries i noticed a few things. One, i couldn't spell very well. Two, i had no idea what i was doing. Three, all former problems with said "Bailey" person were totally forgotten by 7th grade. And four, that was the beginning of a life that one cannot explain in text or words but by a knowledge of myself superior to my own. Depression is one way to describe it, insanity is another. Age has brought wisdom that i have been told is well beyond my years, and not a day goes by that i wish for something different when i know that no matter what i do there will be no light at the end of any tunnel. There may be more fish in the sea but i'm using the wrong type of bait. That my glass is neither half empty nor half full, but shattered onto the floor of which i stand embedding the shards into my feet so that i shall know who will catch me when i fall from blood loss. Currently the floor is the only thing i trust, for the most part stable and i know it will always catch me. It is constantly underneath me, supporting every step that i take, being a comfort on the mind of a lost child in the world that we are thrown into without any way to object until older and learned of a gun or knotting skills. A tree branch that shall take me from the ground and catch me before i fall safely to it. Abruptly and hopefully pain free. Hoping for such a state of being is useless for i seek something else in life other than peace with myself by ending my problems the easy way. Nothing can be obtained that is of worth in today's life is done so through the common flow of daily activities. One must step apart from the line that defines your existence and draw oneself a new path without fault nor problems. Highly impractical, but obviously possible. For those who have read this i am sorry to have wasted your time.
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