Revelations used to be descriptions, but now they come without words...is it that I'm losing my sense of understanding things or that I'm reaching into subjects by which I am currently and drastically incapable of comprehending on a linguistic term?
Oh well, my revelation today did happen to come with words. It was that my lack of self confidence is driven from my perception of people and their relation to me. You see, I see myself as a part of the lives of the people around me, and therefore feel the need to contribute and the societal expectancy to speak and act in ways that are defined as normal, because abnormal is out of the average human's spectrum of daily effort. So instead of seeing myself as a small piece of the world, seeing myself as a part of everybody's lives, I need to see everybody else as a part of my life, not permanently, because then I'd just become an arrogant son'b***h, but in situations by which I feel the pressure to either speak impulsively and trust my words or be silent and have them walk away without me being damaged I need to make the right choice, because life is slowly passing me by and my fear of being with people is driving me to miss out on everything, its like driving through a mountainous stretch of pure earth and never stopping to look over my shoulder even for an instant.
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