“Welcome to my home.” I proudly tell the love of my life Raikel. Our vast land is nothing he's used to seeing. The yard that greets us is filled with freshly cut, healthy green grass. Our sturdy brick house is unusual shades of purple instead of red. Concrete tiles decorated with various animals give way to our welcoming door. A black gravel path leads to the backyard, where the garden resides. There are exotic plants with heavenly smells plus rare ones with exotic tastes. The inside of the house is even more breathtaking. Each room is painted a different color with its own style. For instance there's our dark green colored den with African Art wall to wall and furniture of either black as coal or metallic silver.
I wished my house appeared as the one in my head. It is more like a shack with no space between it from the next. Broken windows, more weeds than grass, and trash in the mix of it all makes it seem uninhibited. Inside, the brown wall is peeling revealing wooden bars. The wall is a place of rest for many an insect and mice. The kitchen/living room looks as if a tornado went right through it. Pages from books thrown out of frustration litter the stained off white carpet. At least I have Raikel to make life seem better. We are madly in love with each other. He buys me jewelry, takes me shopping, and even takes me to experience new places. The other day he drove me to an art museum. The paintings looked hideous. "A Summer's Walk" should have been called "Scribble" for the people looked like stick drawings and the trees as if a two year old drew them. I knew that I could do better. My baby even told me so. He told me that after the baby was born I could have my own room just for my art. I knew he would always take care of me.
In reality Raikel has no plans to be with me or the baby. He's only come over to try to convince me to put the baby up for adoption. . .again. He doesn't want to be responsible for a kid. I can't though. If I was sure he would stay I would without argument. But without the baby my love might leave my life forever. I don't think Raikel has even seen one of my sketches. Whenever I tried to show him we would just end up having sex. Actually that's all we would ever do when we saw each other. But good thing though or who knows he probably would have been left me. But whatever, because all will be fine even if Raikel does disappears. I have the looks of a goddess. Boys try to propose at 16 to girls like me. My light skin attracts them like bees to honey. They love the feel of my silky brown hair through their fingers. My smile straight as a corner and white as clouds brightens the saddest of any male's day. Yep if Raikel moves on some lil rich kid will swoop me right up off my feet.
Looking in the mirror that image dies. If someone tried to run their hands through my hair they wouldn’t even make it down an inch. Also the gel and gunk marinating in the filth would take hours to wash off themselves. Feeling my rough pimply skin makes me wish I weren't so dark. Cappuccino would even be better than my night black skin. I am horrified by my looks. The only reason Raikel probably ******** me was because I was a virgin. He figured once he took my virginity I would forever be fateful to him. Well, he was figured right. I open the cabinet to find my magic pills. My mom bought me these pills telling me my every wish would come true by taking them. I've been taking them for weeks now but the effects haven't yet started. Reading the bottle it tells me the more I take the faster it works. Impatient to live my dream life I gulp nearly half the bottle. In a moment it starts to work.
To tell the truth they weren't really magic pills. They were sleeping pills for my restless nights. I lay down on the bathroom floor waiting for the sand man. Suddenly Raikel comes in all panicked. He keeps screaming "What did you take? What did you take?" On the phone I can hear him tell the ambulance I'm shaking violently and my pulse is slowing down. He yells close to tears to "stay with him". I attempt to smile and tell him everything will be all right. To let him know once sleep finds me my dreams will become real. However, unlike me Raikel never was one to have much of an imagination. My stopped breathing is all he can see.
So What Do You Think??? sweatdrop
 PixcDust · Mon Feb 09, 2009 @ 06:55pm · 0 Comments |
