I'm self-diagnosing myself. I believe I have an eating disorder.

Compulsive Overeating/Binge Eating Disorder

- Fear of not being able to control eating, and while eating, not being able to stop.
- Isolation. Fear of eating around and with others.
- Holding the belief that life will be better if they can lose weight.
- Vague or secretive eating patterns.
- Self-defeating statements after food consumption.
- Blames failure in social and professional community on weight.
- Weight gain.
- Mood swings. Depression. Fatigue.

Anorexia/Bulimia

-Obsession with weight and complaining of weight problems (even if "average" weight or thin).
-Obsession with calories and fat content of foods.
-Obsession with continuous exercise.
-Visible food restriction.
-Visible bingeing.
- Isolation. Fear of eating around and with others.
-Vague or secretive eating patterns.
-Keeping a "food diary" or lists that consists of food and/or behaviors (ie., purging, restricting, calories consumed, exercise, etc.)
-Pre-occupied thoughts of food, weight and cooking.
-Self-defeating statements after food consumption.
-Dizziness and headaches.
-Low self-esteem. Feeling worthless. Often putting themselves down and complaining of being "too stupid" or "too fat" and saying they don't matter. Need for acceptance and approval from others.
-Complaints of often feeling cold.
-Perfectionistic personality.
-Mood swings. Depression. Fatigue.

Self Esteem

The one trait that is obviously apparent in all sufferers of an Eating Disorder is their low self-esteem. Often they feel as though they are not good enough, that they never do anything right, that they are scrutinized by others for their appearance, and that their lives would get better if they could just lose weight. Sufferers can feel like they do not deserve to be happy, that they do not deserve good things to happen to them, and that they don't deserve to have anything but what is felt as a miserable existence. They often feel like a burden to others, trivialize their own problems and feel as though other people deserve help more than them. Each section above, while exploring the causes of an Eating Disorder, simultaneously ventures into the depths of why each person suffers from a lack of self-esteem.

It is not uncommon for Eating Disorder sufferers to be viewed by others as compassionate, warm, giving, sensitive, and intelligent people. The problem is that each person suffering can not see in themselves the beauty that others do. Their own hate from within distorts their perception of how truly wonderful they really are.