I've become a pirate for the following reasons.
1) Pirates have a longstanding reputation throughout the history of mankind for being badass.
2) Pirates sometimes have an amazing fashion sense.
3) They can do whatever the ******** they want.
4) They can hide s**t in the sand and people will look for it. I try that on beaches sometimes, but no one cares what I bury in the sand.
5) They're on a boat.
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