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There was a guy who once broke my heart. A guy who said he would never hurt me. I believed him like most girls would. I was on facebook, and he told me in a chat that he cheated on me and was sorry and asked if u still loved him. I felt like I was stabbed in the chest. He acted like everything would be better. I didn't think I could forgive him so I broke up with him, hurt and confused. I didn't know how I felt towards him; somedays I thought I still cared and other days I felt like I could care less. I also felt guilty, because I never really let him close to me so it wouldn't hurt as bad if he hurt me. After we broke up, I became very depressed, angry, and confused. I couldn't trust people for a long time, and I felt as if everyone was driving away from me. After about two months I finally started to get over him, but my life changed drastically because of family problems and friendship problems. I was also confused with my feelings toward another guy. For almost four months I didn't know what to do anymore, it felt as if the whole world was against me. I started usung facebook for help, and made some new friends and found out who my true friends are. I felt closed it to some people but opened up to others and found understanding and comfort with them. I felt a little better, knowing I have people to turn to when I need someone to talk with, and they knew they could talk to me also. Then I got a message from him. I was afraid to open it, but also I wondered what he would say, if he hatred me or if he still cared. I truthfully didn't know what I wanted it to say. I decided to open it, and found a long message about how losing me was the wrist mistake if his life, and he apologized over and over, saying he still cared and how he knows how badly he messed up and understood if I hated him or could never forgive him. I replied with how I felt about what he did,.and told him I never really hatred him but more hated that he broke all his promises. I told him how confused I was and told him how my life had changed. He replied saying he loved me and would do what ever it takes to regain my trust and even possible get back together. I thought long and hard about what he was telling me, and told him I needed time to understand all this because all this time I thought he forgot about me. I went to my friends for help, asking their opinion on this and if giving him a second chance is a god idea or not. I had different replies, and some made me think about some things. I talked to his friends, asking if what he says is true and if he talks about me any. They said every one in a while, and that he had been super depressed ever since the break up. I knows I've been depressed too, but for a lot more reasons. I thought about him, deciding how I felt about him. I asked one more person, somone who could relate to this more than a lot of people. What she said helped me make my final decision. I was going to give him a second chance because he's only human and everyone makes mistakes but everyone also deserves another chance and to be forgiven. I told him I would met him after school on Monday May 16, which was the next day. We talked on the phone for hours the day before, and caught up with everything been the for months we have been apart. The next day after school when we arrived at the middle school to pick up the middle school students, I got off the bus and saw him and I almost cried. He walked toward me, and I sorta just stood there there, nervous. We said a quick hi then hugged. We stood there holding eachother, and he kept apologizing, saying how much he has missed me. He asked if I would take him back, and I nodded, not able to speak. I realized I missed his hugs, and my friend walked by us, and said it was a picture perfect moment. I laughed, and we let go but still held on. We talked a little, not having much time until the busses reloaded. When everyone was rushing to get on their bus, we hugged one more time and said bye. He whispered "I love you" in my ear. I whispered to him I loved him too, though if came out choked because I was happy and excited and nervous and I couldn't really speak. I really was hoping this would work, though my one friend kept doubting it. It's been a day dune then, Tuesday, and I am unfortunately sick with some kind of stomach bug so I don't get to see him today. I miss him, but I can see him tomorrow. I can't wait. I love you Ben Stockdale <3
 B3AUTiiFUL Dii5A5T3R · Tue May 17, 2011 @ 03:07pm · 0 Comments |
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