First day of school is tommorrow. Journal, my mom pushes my sister all the time cause a test said that she was smart, all my life I have been compared to my sister. I mean people think my sister can do all this stuff, and when I do it people just do not think I can do it. My mom has issues, I'll say that, but it just gets out of hand, sometimes when my mom pushes my sister and threatens her in school and stuff, I just wonder, why isn't she pushing me, too. I mean I don't want to be pushed, but yet I just want to show her that I am smart and I can do things just as well as my sister does. I get A's and B's and I've never gotten a C. I do have issues too, I have social problems, I'm very shy, and quiet, but if you get to know me, I'm one of the kindiest people you will ever know. I don't know why but, I've always wanted this attention that my sister gets, the attention that my mom gives her, I just wish my mom would give me this attention, I just want to prove to everybody that I am smart, but I just don't want to be pushed. I'm just so tired of hiding in a cornor and not expressing myself, not expressing how smart I am. But in a way I think I'm more creative than my sister, I love day dreaming, and thinking. But in a way my sister always had everything that I haven't, she has friends, she gets attention, she gets treated like a smart kid, she has a boyfirend, she has personality, she's a cheerleader, she's on the math team, she has a talent in diving,she can solve a rubik's cube, the point is she has everything I've always dreamed of, I always try, but sometimes trying isn't good enough. I just wish I can find the thing that I'm good at and have that attention I've always been wanting, hopelly tthis year will be better, and I can show everyone that I can do it, and I am good at stuff, that would just be a dream come true.