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At risk of sounding petty and selfish, my heart has just broken. As most of you who will ever read this know, my all time favorite band is Panic at the Disco. To make a long story short, they were my obsession. Music is my life, and they were a huge part of that. I've been listening to them for a while know, and their music helped me through trying times awhile back. Melodramatically, they saved my life. I owe everything to these guys. That's why I will never forget today. This morning I woke up to a beautiful sunny sky, warm bed, hopeful thoughts. I watched the new All Time Low video, which put me in a good mood. I went about my day as planned, walking the dog, grocery shopping. Of course, then, I made the mistake of visiting patdonline. The second my eyes skimmed Brendon and Spencer's blog I knew something was wrong. They never blog. And sure enough Ryan and Jon had left the band. Of course we fangirls saw it coming on twitter, but naturally everyone called us teenies and ignored us. But that's another war. And then, to make things worse Pete Wentz and Panic's body gaurd, Zack, kept trying to cheer us up. "Brendon and Spencer will keep the band going and the new album will be released in autumn" and the next made me want to blow chunks. "it seems the exclamation point is back!" Um, yay? Is that some sort of consolation, as if they're saying. "Yeah, you're favorite band split, but we're bringing back more punctuation!"

It's surreal when I go back over my thoughts. Ryan Ross and Spencer Smith have been best friends since kindergarten, and they started the band with Brendon Urie and Brent Wilson, who was then replaced by Jon Walker. Out of all the other bands wandering the music scene, this band seemed to be the tightest. Good friends, strong personalities, a bright future and career. They were truly something uncommon nowadays. Of course, all good things come to an end.

Since I'm already on my way to hell with the way I spazzed on my family today, I'll do some sort of plagerism. Just this morning I was reading a slash fanfiction (my guilty pleasure). It was a lovely Rydon about life on tour and how complicated things had gotten between the singer and guitarist. One of the fictional Brendon's thoughts was, "Life is just a joke, just one big sarcastic joke" I don't know who wrote that, but at this point I don't care. And it's true. Life is a joke. Just once you think it's getting good, when all the pieces are coming together and your heart has mended once more, it all comes crashing down. So I say farewell Panic! at the Disco and then Panic at the Disco, and hello new artists. Because they are not the same band and will never be the same. cry