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Current Mood: HAPPY!
Current Song: A Little Less Conversation
...A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby!!
I feel supreme, nothing can touch me harm me or turn my down. It is all thanks to my friend Dan Millman and his Book "The Way of the Peaceful Warrior"
The last couple weeks I have been very down and very displeased with myself. In fact my life has been nothing but disappointments on the lack of effort from myself. I didn't care about much of anything and I thought I was happy, that if I just sit and wait, everything will be delivered to me on a plate. I have lost myself in food so much of the time and once again thought I was happy, which has led to my over-weight body. I have many times in the past thought of ending myself on the spot, but I never had the courage to do that either. I really felt like slim at the bottom of the food chain. The the last few days have been the roughest, I have been sick and have had no joy in anything that I do. But this morning at school, I went to the library and drifted over a book. From my stand point and after reading it, the book basically glew with my salvation.
I opened it expecting to find just another persons imagination getting away from them. I was knocked off my "poor me" horse. I read the book the entire day, I couldn't drop it for more then a minute before I found myself immersed in it once more, even without the concent of my body. The culmination which led me over the end to stop feeling sorry for myself was when I finished the book. I was sitting in my last class of the day... I broke down and cried in the middle of a lecture. I was so mortified at how my life may end up if I continued down my path of sloth and gluttony. I left school still crying, all the way home and just collapsed upon my bed. This book has inspired thoughts that I never thought I would have, that I would throw down my old ways and pick up new ones by beginning to eat better and not worry so much on how the world is effected around me.
I have been nothing but happy for the last week, I have laughed at insults and given a few of my friends insightful advice that has been returned with gracious thanks and understanding. Though I am not the peaceful warrior as the book describes, I will train my body to return to me that was once a child. For I one day wish to spread what I have learned like Dan Millman.
This is the actual letter I wrote to Dan Millman who has become my teacher, not in mind or body but in spirit. Thank you for reading. I hope you will get the chance to read the book yourself. It has changed me forever.
 Shepherd · Fri Jan 13, 2006 @ 07:52pm · 1 Comments |
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Current Mood: Upset
Current Song: This is Halloween
Haven't posted for a bit...
Not a very eventful day... don't really feel like posting...
Shepherd · Mon Oct 04, 2004 @ 03:41am · 6 Comments |
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Current Mood: Sick
Current Song: Bang Bang
Not much of a day today... Stayed home sick, slept till noon and then played Kingdom Hearts until my mother came home with Mcdonalds for my poor sick self 3nodding heart Shes so nice!
Then we went to Hero! Pretty good movie! but Kill Bill was much better, But the fight scenes in Hero were pretty unbelivable, fighting on water and such. But i liked it. heart
Now i come home and write in my journal... pretty boring day...
Shepherd · Thu Sep 30, 2004 @ 03:11am · 2 Comments |
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Current Mood: Warm and Fuzzy
Current Song: Please don't let me Be misunderstood
Well today was just another normal day in the life of Ben/Shep.
I woke up around 6:10 my usual time, happy that I might get to school at 7. I don't know why i choose 7 o.o. Well I said ok i'm going to get up, laying my head back down and then turning over I looked at the clock again. It was 6:40, I was confused as heck but got up and got to school around 7:10. Kinda angry that I hit a time warp that threw me foreward 20 minutes.
1st hour was boring as usual, typing typing typing and more typing. This can get repetitivly boring, which it was when i first started. I'm atleast 12 lessons ahead of everyone else. The hour flew by because my days are filled with Gaia 3nodding heart
2nd was math and even more boring, I wanted to jump out the window. Anything but to hear that teacher speak... agh.
My 3rd hour teacher angered me because I went down 3 flights of stairs. Got a snack because i wasen't feeling very well and then she takes it, throws it away. It being half full i was very angry and refused to do the work she assigned. I did it later but I'm still mad at her.
Foods was boring we just did this packet that talked about salsa, different kindas to how they are packaged.
Lunch!! I was happy at lunch because i was lucky enough to escape the school and walk over to the Mcdonalds and get a meal. Though it is bad for me it tastes good... X_x heart
5th was incredably dull because the teacher kept looking at me and Carla. Who i think is begainning to like me, even though she loves Mike. It still seems like she would ask me out eek surprised
6th and 7th weren't as boring sence we got to work with fire and watch movies 3nodding heart It was a funny movie we watched, done by a bunch of college students for credit. Pretty funny stuff blaugh
I came home and basicly hung around, until I had to go to sleep that is ^__^
Thats all for now!
Shepherd · Tue Sep 28, 2004 @ 05:57am · 1 Comments |
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Current Mood: Mellow
Current Song: Call me, Call me
Today was pretty Uneventful... but i will tell anyways.
I woke up in the hopes to go to the festival again but my dreams where shattered when My friends left without me and my parenst refused to gimme a ride to the park. But I understand my parenst positon, it's almost a 30 min drive and they had driven it the night before.
So I just spent the day sulking around and playing games. Talked to some of my friends on Gaia and contemplated if i should go out and do something but nothing came to mind so, home it was.
Thats pretty much it gonk heart
Shepherd · Mon Sep 27, 2004 @ 04:12am · 0 Comments |
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Current Mood: Happy Happy Happy!!
Current Song: Elm
What a day this was! I woke up around 8, very odd on the weekends for me. My mom gave me an odd look when she saw me up, like I was a martian. blaugh heart I love her sooo much (Huggles to the Mother). So I went down stairs and started chat online and stuffies. My sister yelled down and asked me around 10 if i wanted to go to the Renaissance Festival. I was like eek eek eek eek . Yes... So i got in the show to get all cleaned up and spiffeh. But before i did I invited my friend Hailey along because him and his mother always get season passes to the Festival and his been begging me to come one of the weekends. But this seems to be the spot i went wrong. My mother came storming in and asked why Hailey called and I said I called him. Then my sister came in with a stream of insults towards me because i invited ONE of my friends. Everytime we go someplace special she decides " Can I bring 36836583578 of my friends? ", then whines and complains when I invite one of my friends. I really don't like my sister... she is a purging of the Gene pool so that all that come after her have pure souls and are not tainted by Satan. 4laugh scream
Well I called my friend and told him it would be best if he didn't come with us... if he wanted to stay out of the cross-fire. sad crying . I never get to do anything i want to do with my sister around... I really wish she would just go away. Well none the less I went and had a great time.
The Renaissance Festival (For those of you who have never heard of it) is like State fair only everything is in the setting of 14th Century Europe. So theres knights, people in costumes, pirates, Scottsmen and such walking around in the traditinal clothing. ((Insert Jealous look)) I now want a costume like them. Even security had costumes! They looked scary eek
We went to a few shows and then walked around. I got me a necklace that has my Zodiac Sign on it (Pisces). I love it already heart 4laugh I may go tommarow with my friend and another so i need to get a costume togather to look somewhat decent for it.
After it all i was soooo tired, i went home and collapsed. But then my neighbor came over and asked if i could babysit there kid. So I did and came home $15 richer then i was when i woke up.
Well Thats all for tonight!
Shepherd · Sun Sep 26, 2004 @ 08:28am · 0 Comments |
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OK! First entry... lets see my day...
Current Mood: Happy!
Current Song: Power of love
I woke up around 6:20, my usual time that my alarm goes off. I don't set it, my dad comes in my room at like 2 in the morning and sets it. His such a ninja ninja , I wonder if his from the past sometimes. I went down stairs and got on the computer for a little bit while getting dressed. I take showers at night so i can have a two hour one and just enjoy it. I bumped my quest thread a bit (Which is now closed gonk ) and then headed out the door. I left all my stuff at school so i wasen't to bad of a walk. I walk A LOT because i don't have a care and i need it, i'm getting so fat sad .
I got to school around 7:00 and sat in the lunch room. Doing my homework of course, Stay and school and don't do drugs 3nodding xd , If you want Shep to like you just follow those two rules and I will love you. heart
Class starts around 8 so after finishing my homework i went up to my Keyboarding class. It is SOOOO Easy surprised , Everybody is like on lesson 15 while i'm on lesson 50. There like " Ben, how do you do that " and i reply " It's all in the fingers my good man, now do your work for i wish to enjoy my FREE time ". I'm such a boob sometimes but I'm an upper classmen and I have a right to torture under-classmen if i feel like it.
After Keyboarding it's Algebra, not my best class. I feel sooo stupid in it crying , all i hear is " Blah Blah blah work ". We took a test today and i was lucky enough to have a friend at my table and he helped me with it 4laugh . I started to get bored and I started to make the Mario game sounds. Then class ended and i was like " w00t "
My 3rd hour is just a study hall and nothing eventful happand there.
4th although was quite fun because it was Foods! We taste-tested salsa and I liked them all, especally the Mango Peach salsa. Nobody else liked it though... wussys xp heart
Lunch was next but i didn't eat anything, the salsa and chips was enough for me. I met up with my newly aquired friend Mike and Carla. I helped them with relationship issues, but it's hush hush so you can't know about it whee heart . We always have a good time making jokes and stuff, and my afternoon classes are sooo much better then morning.
Next Came English III, Oh! what a boring class. I love writing as you can tell but all we do is read and stuff and not learn how to write storys. Thats why i'm joining College Writing and Fictional Writing. Those will be fun. Carla is also in my English class so we make faces at each other while the teacher is talking.
For 6th period I have Enviormental Studies, this is my favorite class. Mr Wahutka is like one of the best teachers in the school. Other then Ms Lane, Mr Getty, Mr Miller, Mr O'Brien, Mr Brubaker, Ms Porter and Ms Krim 3nodding whee Mike and Carla are also in the class along with another few of my friends, Tyler, Casey and Fish. Tyler is crazy, his like a sexual preditor but his funny to be around. Casey is just randam as heck, he'll say things that you'll just crack up at and he won't flinch. Fish, if your wondering about his name it's really Alex but his last name is Fischer so we just call him fish because he was on the football team and the coaches always said " Fish get your butt moving " and yadda yadda.
7th is Geology and Astronmy, I have a few friends in there but i usually hang out with my friend James. His funny also and we usually sit and talk about manga and anime the whole hour. xp
After school I usually walk home and get right on the computer to gaia 3nodding whee heart But not today! For it had a bowling Match! We played one of our rivals, BSM (Benial Saint MArgret or something). Whooped them down and spat on there ashes. But the next team we played it was vise versa, so we walked home with a lose. But it's the first game and things can happan >> << ^^
Welll thats my day or usually life, so now you'll know what to expect of me! Bye bye!
Shepherd · Sat Sep 25, 2004 @ 04:56am · 2 Comments |
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