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Whenever I find someone great, it turns out that the person is halfway around the world. It kinda gets to me, cause it feels like I have a strong bond yet I can never touch of hug or kiss.

Why?

Why is it so hard to hide what you are from the people you so love? Why is it so hard to pretend you're straight in front of the people who knows you? Why, is it so hard to love someone who's so far away from you? Why is it so hard to love someone who... betrayed you?

Parents.

Religion.

Ambitions.

That's what's making it so hard for a person to admit that you like guys when you're a guy yourself. That's what's making it hard for a person to admit that you like girls when you're a girl yourself.

..because of these limitations, these are what holds you back to the realm of heterosexuality.

God... why is it so hard to become straight when you're half straight?

The landing pad of the aircraft was just a few minutes away. The loud whine of engines and the crashes of turbines can be heard, even through the craft's provided head phones. Someone was puking from behind the boy. Another, a couple, was asking the aircraft attendee for a bottle of water. Moreover, he sat there on his seat, undisturbed. His thoughts wandered back to his brother, who was (c)

quite anxious to let his older brother go. Their mom had sent him on a trip to his uncle's where he would be spending the time in college. Why away? Away from his family? Because his mother could not afford to pay for his education. It would cost thousands alone for a semester to where he was going to go. The pay was too small, and could only afford a fraction of the (c)

required payment. Moreover, his uncle, who was so keen in helping his sister, their mom, promised to take the boy and educate him well. It would be until the age of twenty eight where the two siblings were to cross paths again. They did not know how much they might've changed by then. They didn't care what problems they were going to encounter by themselves. But planted, within the (c)

hearts and souls of the blood bonded people, was a promise of returning back to each other's arms once they get the chance.

Danvy, the older of the two, always had a fascination for animals, where as the other one, was fascinated with people. They were complete opposites, the two. The other wanted to be a veterinarian, while the other wanted to be a doctor. Their gap, was about four and (c)

a day, given the dates, of September 5 and 6. It was not that that brought them together. It was the younger sibling. He was the one who made them both closer to each other.

But they shared an even more complicated relationship than that.

Both loved each other, yes. It was a fact. But nobody knew, that the two had each other as lovers. Sick and weird and absurd it may be. But neverthe(c)

less they loved each other still. Their parents never found out. Neither did their friends. Nor their relatives. Nor anyone they knew. Secretly, they'd long for each other's embrace when they got separated from each other. Or, otherwise, both would act more intimately with each other whenever in contact. They'd never be far apart. Emotionally. (c)

~~~

"Home at last..." Danilo Van King muttered to himself as he got the final of his luggage from the conveyor belt of the station. He was lookingforward to see his brother now, fully grown into a man of twenty four years old. He'd be different. he'd change. He'll no longer have feelings for him. Thoughts that wanted his brother haunted him. What if it was true? What if he didn't want to... (c)

Just beyond the door, the door where the bright lights are, where the the carpets were, where the rows of seats were, finally, that was where his brother and his mother would be waiting. He longed both of them. He longed for their voices. Their touch. He wanted to run towards them, with tears falling from his eyes and arms outstretched, wanting to be hugged...

"Home at last."

One of those scrambling below lifted his nose to the air. His was the type of pale skin that gave off the illusion of translucency. His dark green eyes and thick black hair did little to distract from that feature. Taking a deep whiff of the night air, he looked a little strange to those around him, but not enough to garner any -real- notice. In this form, he blended well with their numbers a literal wolf in figurative sheep's clothing.
Even now, though, he senses were not dulled enough to ignore the scent of two others. Both males, he thought, his eyes lingering towards the sky. His ears twitched the tiniest bit, and he strained to hear wings?
If the cowardly beasts around him could have heard, they would have fled, but to him, other such unholycreatures presented themselves as great opportunity for adventure. He did so enjoy interactions with higher beings.

With that thought, he sped away from the herd, and into the nearest building, brushing past the livestock as he ascended the steps.

His people are always looking around, pestering with business that shouldn't be dealt by them." He said with spite. "They should stop looking for me this time and maybe try working on their plan instead."

He crept slowly from his hiding place after managing to spot some place to hide. He couldn't afford to make himself seen. He dared not to. His orders, along with his instincts, was toeliminate every offensive force that he was to meet. If he was to come out, he'd be outnumbered. He knew, also, that there are forces beyond comprehension that demons can unleash. What if, that certain thing summon forth the whole horde? He'd die fighting, without even bringing with him a critter.

The best thing to do now, was to hide. For now. He took notice of a small farm, just a fewmeters away from where he is. He could sprint towards that place, treat his wounds, and even have a rest for the night. As a refugee and a rogue, he could not afford to waste all his energy to worthless things. Besides, he hadn't any more supplies with him. He left it by the sewer entrance, as he was clambering away from the deadly sewer things that was sent for his head.

He rushed tothe building, no matter how crude it looks from the outside, and slammed the door closed. The cattle wasn't much of a threat to his stealth. They were silent, leave for the usual noise they made whenever they can. All is safe, or is it?

From the roof of the building, the flapping of wings became much more audible. Whoever it was, it was not a creature he recognized. Was there danger to him from it? He doubted that very much. It was searching, but it seemed to be looking for something specific, something other than a quick meal.
Climbing back inside through the highest window, he tried his best to make no sound as he dropped onto the wooden loft. The hay here was a comforting smell, but some one unfamiliar was close by, too. He wrinkled his nose, cursing to himself silently. How could he have lost track of the other? He smelled as though wounded, but he might still be strong, and a wounded animal was more prone to bite. Lowering his body into the hay, he crawled his way a a weasel would to the edge of the platform and towards the middle of the barn. It was darker in here, and his eyes were still adjusting to the light, but from his aeral veiw, he could see what he was sure was not a cow. He watched in silence from his perch, barely daring to breath, and tried to analyze this potential threat

Fur unkept from the journey for days, he had just begunm to notice that he looked haggard, tired, and savage. Fur was clung on to by twigs and leaves. Though this made him feel uncomfortable, he never helped admire his own physiques, From his arms to his chest. They were still in top condition. Claws were jagged and some were chipped, but that doesn't matter. As long as he was safe from the harm, it was all okay. Dried blood, seemed to be covering his face, and some form of silk threads were still attached on his mane.

"Imagine the leeches I've come for, this, this task has become increasingly difficult."

Automatically, his body ached for a bath. His body had been too sticky for too long and it had been a known fact that he doesn't do well when he's irritated. One factor,that makes him irritated was him being sticky and grimed all over. Rarely does he indulge the pleasure of rolling in the mud as his kin usually does to pass time as a form of play. Some would wrestle. Some would throw mud at each other. But best of all, they'd be all having a great time. Unclothed.

His eyes moved from one corner to another, looking for a suitable source of water. When hefound none, yet again, he considered, the last thing he'd do. Roll on the mud. A large patch of earth was wet from yesterday's rain and still is now. He could do disrobe and dive in. Still, it was better than having these open wounds aching.

"The inconveniece of waterless barns." He muttered quite audible enough and then started to unclasp his belongings.


As his eyes adjusted, he realized his supposed adversary was indeed hurt... and furthermore, appearing less and less decent by the second. Blinking, there was a breif moment in which he considered saying or doing something to bring attention to himself. Was he to be reduced to a mere peeping tom?

Quickly, his mind answered "Yes."

Now, he fought harder to keep his breathing controlled, for the thrill of spying, he assumed, was a near unfathomable delight to any boy (and though he was full grown, when being sneaky he always felt boyish), and when one got to see something -interesting,- it was ll the more exciting.
He shifted slightly in place, allowing himself a partial transformation, growing bristled fur over his body, but for the most part, retaining his shape. Still, such a slight change allowed him such a broader visual range, and this was something he felt he could enjoy fully in the present moment.

Letting go the final of his clothing, he let out a small Mrrr, and then knelt on the ground. Unaware that there was someone too in the place, he continued what he was doing. Dabbing a small amount of mud at first, then rubbing it slowly along the contours of his body. They were starting to relax. They were also trying to cool, the wounds were. A gasp every time he touched the deep cuts came

out and then was followed by a pleasing sound. He wanted to howl, howl and let the heat of the earth run through him. It was warm but at the same time cold. It was unusual, but nevertheless empowering. He could feel his strength returning every second he applies the healing salve.

"I think I'm starting to like this act."

The sounds of pain and relief from the other were making his toes curl. He no longer felt like a boy, spying out of innocent curiousity, but an absolute -deviant,- and that made it all the better. He pushed himself forward, biting his tongue to control his mewling vocalizations. His claws grew thicker, and his back bent, all failing distractions against this disgusting, obscene practice. He feared that soon, he would taste blood in his mouth, but he was not sure that would detour him. He specualated that it would simply make himself harder to control. He could feel his excitement growing beneath him as he twitched and rocked against the floor boards in an effort to keep his head, but as time grew, it was hurting more than it helped.
Reluctant, he turned onto his back, watching the other now upside-down.

Floorboards creaking. Some things inside was making noise. He was now sure, before he wasn't convinced, that someone was in there, watching him as he bathed on the mud. Weird. He or it could've attacked him. He knew, that the creature could smell that he is wounded, weakened from wearlier flights. But why not strike? Why not kill him? Why not take his neck and snap it into two?
That was weird. He focused now, ears picking up very faint and controlled mewlings. A werewolf like himself here? Maybe. He didn't know yet. But one thing, he knew, it wouldn't attack yet. Not just yet.

"Come on now," Bakura spoke out loudly, standing up to face where that unfamiliar sound came from. "If you're here to spy on me, I'm here for your taking."

Looking for a change...

The time has come to leave the place where I once grew up. I am sorry to see my bags all piled up and willing to be fetched by the cab driver, who is to pick me up for a ride to the airport.

Sigh, I will miss my old friends, teachers, classmates, yes. But, I would make new ones soon. I hope. In Los Baños, which is far away land, as a Veterinarian in training. I'd be dealing with my favorite guests, treating their alien needs while checking their health. I do not know what might happen to me there, but... I'd be hoping that it would be something good. I'd be hoping that I'd fare well there, to repay the sacrifices done to me, by my mother and my sister, who in fact, had not lost their faith in me.

They were there to support me all the way. But...

Will they be there to see how does their juvenile tiger cub do?

We will see. And I await my fate openly...

Something to contemplate...

Who am I to talk to some so called high-class citizens? Who am I to talk to anyone on the earth? Who am I to talk to those who doesn't understand? I am a nobody, and everybody knows that. My depression acts on my actions, so do my emotions. I control my life, and my emotions, and so do my destiny. Why are you there to dictate things, when you are never related to me, eh? Get a life. Spend it with your friends. Get everyone to give you gifts and such. Forget me, even. I don't need your help anymore...

Oh.. You are here. I can see that. Seems like you had been standing there for a long time. I doubt that you are here to join my ramblings, yes? But Yet, I present to you, My life... as a person and not as a doll...

I am Andrei, with the life and the role of a normal kid. Who can say that I am unique? Only a few who knows much of my life. Without my passion and skill, I am nothing. I live for nothing but for the love of animals and the need to help my family. Deprived of the love of a father at a young age, given the hardships of a teener, and the obligations of an old person. I require help, actually. And I need it now. But... Who would hear such a small croak of a young tiger cub who's yelling at the whole forest to ask for help? When all the other tigers are hostile and unmoved by pleas and cries? I am alone. And I need sanctuary from the cruel world. From the cruel jungle where I live in. I need someone to love me. Someone who can lend me a helping hand. Of what sort? Maybe... in a supportive kind of way. Sanity's been too much for me to take. Insanity may be my only saviour. But... What about the darkness? The place where I usually hide and confess my fears and tears. He had become my best friend. My only one and true friend. And thus, given this, I had been constructing a book just for it. For the very special place that had been there for me all the time. No, insanity's not there. But sorrow, guilt, fear, and hatred is there instead. But so far, I long to see my friend again. It's been a long time since he's visited me... But... Does it really matter? I don't think so... As long as I remember that he is in my heart... I can tell that he is always here for me...

SK