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April 30,1014 Daily journal entry. Planning to write about my experience today. Mood: Full and regretting

Community Member
It's my 2nd year in college now and I've been going through a couple of teenager problems, like puppy love, deadlines, insomnia, drugs, procrastination and all those crazy stuff. College is fun to be honest but it's making me rethink my personal life goal and that is to be a professional artist. Right now I don't know if I need more time or an inspiration that will drive me to finish my work in time. To cut it short, the word lost come into mind. I am lost between my passion and how really things should be.

It should be more of the deadlines instead of doing what you really like, which may take a couple of years or maybe months to get it perfect. Then if you really think about it, who would wait a year just to watch the second episode of a certain show? even though it's really nice and perfect all of those would be forgotten since someone will make a better piece in a short span of time. So I guess being perfectionist is a trait that will lead you to your death in college. Especially in my course which is Visual Communication, basically it is something heavily related to advertising. Though that is not really what I want to go through. I'm more a painting kind of person.

Right now my friend is shifting to film. I, myself is a fan of films and I really like to learn something about making films. Since i have a couple of short story ideas in my mind I just wanted to start making it come to life. Then again I lack knowledge into this and I wanted to start improving my "craft" with films. My dilemma now is that, I am battling on whether I should stop whatever I am doing right now and consider shifting to another course that I am "currently" interested in learning. As a student I feel that I am failing but I do try fix my s**t all together but I feel this constant feeling of losing inspiration, which can be very frustrating from time to time. Though my first love is art and I see myself other than doing art in the future.


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