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I didnt mean what i said. I feel really bad and i know i cant make things right anymore. I was just so angry and upset that i just wanted to blame everything and everyone for my actions. I never once did that in my life. I'm changing so much i don't even know who i am anymore. I'm not the same guy i was when i met you. I'm not really like this. I usually take the blame and deal with everything on my own. That's how i was back then but ever since you came into my life things just started to change to rapidly. I don't know who to trust anymore. This feeling of loneliness. I never thought it would feel it this strongly. And now i'm even more scared to trust anyone who isn't my family. I can't trust anyone anymore. I wish there was a time machine so that i can go back in time and change everything. I miss you. I miss my friend. I miss everything, bit now its all gone. Everything is gone. As pathetic as i sound i really do miss everything. Laying in bed thinking of all that s**t that happened... i really am a jerk. Being pushed to the point where i just cant stand it anymore. I had you and him breathing down my neck. I was suffocating by you two that i just wanted a way out. That just how i do things. When i don't wanna deal with s**t i tend to push everyone away. I guess i push you guys to far that i cant even face you. If you guys read this i'm sorry. You guys are better off without a guy like me anyways.