This is mainly to vent about my worries somewhere I know he wont find.
Okay, so.
I'm starting to get nervous about my relationship. Not really the relationship I guess, but about me. I tend to worry too much and annoy people and although he's told me it doesn't bother him, I get the feeling that it does sometimes. I hate upsetting him in any way, I feel like my physical heartstrings snap each time. I wish I could provide him with only happy feelings, but right now I can't. I feel like a failure of a lover.
More and more I've been imagining the domestic life we've both stated we want. It's to the point where I can't cook or do the laundry without thinking "Hm, someday I'll be doing this for him." That may not sound like a bad thing, and at first it doesn't feel like it, but I feel like I think about it too much.
Moving in with him is my active motivation to move out. My dad's assured me that it's normal to still live at home while you're 18 but until I met him I felt like a loser who was stuck between being a child and an adult. Now I have aggressive motivation to get a job, move out, and make something of myself. Someone he deserves, not the someone he's got right now. That probably sounds way too dependent but it's true, if it weren't for him I'd be staying at home all summer without a job and not minding it much.
Anyhoo, is there any way to calm myself about my nervousness? I don't believe it will have an effect on the relationship, I care about him too much to end it and he's said that's mutual, but it just doesn't quite feel right.
Stulluna Community Member 
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