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My Idiotic Rambleings i'm an idiot and i ramble. not that difficult


Lady Smetly of the Sporks
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Broken
I don't give a damn if anyone reads this, nobody probably will since I never get on here. But I have to write, and it has to be in a place where nobody will read it. I might've posted this before...possibly. Either way, I edited it, because things are differed from the last time I said any of this. Things have changed.
Life weaves. Some days are good, some days are bad. Most days are in between. There are defining moments in life that make us who we are, whether we like that person or not. One of those moments happened a couple of weeks ago after I read the book Broken when I realised that the character called Broken wasn't the only broken character in the book. In fact, everyone in the world is broken.
I'm broken.
I'm indecisive and monophobic. I'm scared that one day I'll self combust. I hate being complimented about my appearance. I wish I was a boy. The guy that cut my hair is conspiring with me to dye it pink in the summer.
My fingers are ridiculously small, as are my ears. I don't like "The Scientist," because when I listen to it, i get the feeling of a sandwich being caught in my throat. I'm morbidly shy, because I'm scared that people won't like me. I wouldn't blame them, either - I'm broken after all.
I have M.A.D.- migraines associated with dizziness. At least the doctor says so, but I think he's wrong since the meds he gave me don't work. The dizzy spells still come at least once a week, sometimes more. My best friend is my other half.
I'm not straight. Not at all. Only one person knows this. If I ever feel something for someone ever again, I'll date them, no matter what their gender, regardless of how much it would disappoint my parents. I'm not a virgin either- that's a funny story entirely in itself.
Most days, I'm an atheist. When I get scared I pray. Not to Jesus, tho. I'll never believe in Jesus again.
My sister and I like to make up scenarios about people when we're out in public. My friends and I like to sit outside of Borders after closing hours and make up scenarios about the people who are walking up to the doors only to discover that the store is closed.
My ears are gauged. I have seven piercings. My hair is always a mess.
I'm scared to run with my feelings, but I'm learning. I'm scared of rejection, but I wouldn't blame anyone for rejecting me. I'm broken after all, and I look like a fat 12 year old. I have nice eyes.
I love love love being single, but I hate sleeping alone.
If loneliness doesn't kill me, monotony will. I'm only lonely when I haven't seen my besty for a few days. She is my other half, after all. We both like to paint.
My favourite colour is purple. I love my cat more than I love anything else in this world.
I'd kill for a cigarette right now.
Mary Jane is my best friend; when no one else will listen, she numbs the pain.
I'm broken. And it's okay. Everyone else is broken too. There's nothing wrong with any of us. We're not all going to be okay, but at least we can all take comfort in knowing that we're not alone.





 
 
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