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Very soon, I am going to be seeing a few NIN shows; apparently the last tour they will be going on for a few years. However, they have taken on a charitable cause to help get a young man recieve a heart transplant. To raise the money they are taking donations ($10, $300, and $1000), for which they will hold a meet and greet ($300) and dinner/backstage hang out ($1000). The price is for 2 people. While you may be wondering, hey couldn't NIN just pay for the whole thing (and I find myself wondering about why they are not just donating the entire amount since time is of the essence), a large part of it is to raise awareness about the corruption in insurance and that people are willing to donate to rally against their evility. While I can't help but think this is a huge duh, I am willing to donate my entire pay check (when it clears) to meet them, plus I am very much in favour of universal healthcare for America. I think the most vile thing Nixon did was give all the power to HMOs and insurance companies. I believe that Canada has it right (and it is a pretty kickass place in general. I have only had good experiences there and am glad that my taxations went toward their healthcare system).
In any case, I am willing to sacrifice in order to have this moment of pure bliss. While the universe is trying to prevent me from doing so (so many things are trying to go wrong), I am excited that one thing (of many) that I have so desperately wanted/hoped/dream about may come to fruition.

I am very, very disappointed at the announcement that they are letting Liam, Ruby, and Peyo go. I never thought I would play the "I'm never buying Gaia Cash again" card, but here we have it. I really do not want to support the site anymore. They are lucky that the suspicious package came out before this.That's all they are getting from me unless the characters return.

They last time I felt this angry at Gaia was when they threatened to turn Ian human. That was a dealbreaker, and Gaia pulled through. I can only hope they will do a similar thing, and do the right thing; give us characters that we can care about.

I think the ultimate piece of s**t they through at the users was rigging this goldsink. The rigging makes me sick; to give people hope they might save their character and donate millions only to have it do NOTHING. If Ruby was voted off because she honestly deserved to be and everyone hated her, fine, but this is just total bullshit. I feel betrayed.

So, I left Gaia for a few weeks, mostly due to the changes they made to inventory on the 7th (which removed one of my favourite glitches) and a major spell of depression. I came back on today, something I have actually been dreading (I haven't checked my trades or pms yet -_-). And I have to say that I hate the changes that have taken place. The "need gold" button? I clicked it and it is just AWFUL. Play the market; invest in MCs; WTF? Stop whoring yourself out, Gaia. You make me feel dirty.
Secondly, I am livid about the introduction of mythical creatures, which is obviously meant to help transition Gaia over to the MMO an it's creatures. GTFO of my Gaia! Dark eleves, centaurs, naked puffs, needless NPCs....it is reallt bogging the story down. I personally don't give a s**t about the story now; and I used to love it. It has fallen into the Days of Our Lives trap that made me stop watching. They tried to add all these teen characters I wasn't interested in. All I really cared about was John (and here it is Ian, but Zhivago and Liam are in there too). I like the centaur, but there is jsut too much s**t going on now. It should have been Nicolae introduced-> Louie uses G-Corp for help -> Only one damn centaur is introduced, and isn't an a*****e trying to commander the lake, still wants to help in the Olympics->Ian prances around, shows that his vampire prowess and falcon kicking could be an asset to Barton-> Rina stays in her shop and doesn have a ***** naked puff ball molesting her (seriously Gaia, even when it's consentual, it's still statutory).
And Gaia, I hope you aren't going with the obvious with the Timmy plot. The evil goatee was a bit much.
I have just found myself becoming very disenchanted with Gaia. I thought things wer egoing to be intersting after Lanzer's comic, but this is the worst that I have ever seen Gaia piss away potential.
This can all be fixed by making me the meat in an Ian sandwich; well, at least easier to swallow.

I am in a horrible situation right now. I owe Iowa $500 in speeding tickets and my university $10000. I would be lucky if I could even afford the first amount. The university decided they want to demand the full amount NOW. If they turn it over to collections, I will go to jail.

I guess I had it too good for too long. Losing constantly at the casino was just a set up for this. I just wish I could catch a break ONCE. I really think that I am one of the unluckiest people in the universe. That goverment refund check would really come in handy right now.

God I hate my place of work for several reasons. 1- I feel like I was tricked / lied to when I accepted the job. They told me there would be 8 hours days, working one weekend a month. That's fine. 8 hours is pure heaven after work 12. BUT when I start, they have changed the policy to 10 hour days, working every other weekend (I get every Monday and Tuesday off). 10 hours makes the day draaaaag. It is not pleasure to be there knowing I have to be there for 10.5-11 hours. It makes me want to scream. 8 hours is rewarding, 10 is torture. 2- I find it disturbing that they are suddenly changing their "dress code". In my phone interview, I asked if they had one, which was answered no. However, they have forbidden hats (directed at me due to my wearing my cat toboggan), and now they are forbidding jeans. Blue jeans were supposedly a no-no before. I don't own any, so that didn't effect me. However, I have a pair of black jeans that I wear almost everyday. I was told that black jeans were ok, and have not had anything said to me in 4 months. Today, they told me that ALL jeans are agaisnt dress code. I am livid. I am bettig that within the year they will have us wearing collared shirts and dress pants. I work in a ******** lab, where I spill acid all over my pants and wear a lab coat. Nice clothes should not be required.

As soon as my time is up (2 years), I am out of there unless things change. It is really the 10 hour days that are my problem. working 8-7 make me very unhappy. I will tell them so if I am ever asked. I feel like I can never get to the gym. I come home, eat dinner, watch a little tv/internet, then it's too late. I want to go at 7 or 8 or 9, but I need a few hours of down time before I go, which I don't get. I just ******** hate it, and it is really causing me to resent my job.

I can only hope thigs will improve in the future at work, but I doubt it.

Well, I got a message today that my grandfather died from a heart attack on Monday (4-14). I didn't even have my phone with me all day, so I didn't know until about 4am Tuesday. I tried to order some flowers to send to my grandmother, but I don't have enough money in my account because the bank lies and doesn't process any non-cash transations until the next business day,even if they were made before 3pm. I guess I will try again tomorrow.

I don't even know what I am going to do. I don't know if/how I could even go tothe funeral, as simply driving would cost me $350-400 (plane ticket is about 400). I don't make any kind of money to be able to afford that....but I want to be supportive of my grandmother and have closure on someone's death. I never saw my mother's body, and I constantly have dreams where she is alive. I don't know what I am going to do. I thought today was going to be a nice sunny day. I talked to my grandmother on Sunday, and she said my grandfather looked bad after his surgery, but I don't think I was expecting this. I wish I could have talked to him.

In morbid curiosity, I wonder which was worse from my grandmother, losing her daughter or her husband. I hope that is she able to keep afloat financially. The last time I saw them was on Christmas. My poor grandma. She has a horrible memory. I wonder if she might sell her house and move in with my aunt.

I dread calling her in the morning. I mean, what can I say? I don't know what I am going to do. Right now, I am just sitting here crying.

I will always have fond memories of him- "chucking" me under the chin, setting up the crochet set, grilling hamburgers, asking who was going to find the plastic egg with $5 on Easter, his joking about bear and goose grease, joking about going to Uncle Zack's Rib shack, eating out at Waffle House, Pofolk, and the Hickory house, asking him to sing 5 or 6 Irish tunes (Please do o' grey haired grandfather of mine)and always giving him chow-chow and a fire log for Christmas.

I don't know. This just plain sucks. I don't want to deal with this. It's just awful. I wish my mother was still alive to help comfort my grandmother (and I wish she was alive for a lot of other reasons too. I am glad that she has her religious community (even though I am an atheist, I have faith in people, and religion also gives a comforting feeling of the afterlife in times like this).

But I have a sneaking suspesion that this is only the start of some bad news.

I never thought that this would be the case, but I am totally at odds with the liberal media regarding the democratic nominee. I simply hate Obama, and will not vote for him no matter what. I will vote for McCain over him.

I WANT HILLARY.

I am at the point where I can't even watch the Daily Show any more because of their BS, and SNL is coming close. I actually won't watch it any more after this episode. Do they know anything about Obama? I think not...

Contains Major Spoilers!

Ok, so I just finished watch 26 episodes of "Fantastic Children". I had heard good things about it, and it was pretty good until a point. The point where Thoma's true identity was reveled. So they decided to thow a cureball on that one. Ok. And he was kind of justified in his revenge (in my eyes). Even earlier they had left the poor guy to wander back to the castle alone in the pouring rain with a missing arm. The ending just made me so ******** mad though. I hate when shows do this. You spend hours getting to know characters, liking them, then *bam* they are killed, or a previously unknown character comes to save they day. And that it why I HATE Soran. I really wanted Thoma and Helga 1- to keep the blonde hair, 2- keep their memories (which they sort of still have), 3- get to-freaking-gether. He cared so much about her, that I thought they should end up as a cute happy couple. Ok, to be frank, I just wish something better had happen with Thoma's character. Personally, I would have gone with 1- his reincarnation always being the one that died for Tina's sake, 2- getting together with Helga, 3- most importantly, to get point two and have the suprise truth revolation, I would have made Thoma's soul a combination of Sesu and Soran.

I want to punch Soran in the face. Hate, hate, hate him.

Last night I had two dreams about Gaia (probably because I was on right before I went to sleep). Both of them involved Ian. The first was started at an old abandoned factory where Gaia had set up its new headquarters. The NPCs and other gaians wandered around taking tours. Unfortunatly for Ian, he ended up being bitten by a werewolf. Eventually the biter (who was actually a nice guy. I think he looked kind of like Louie) was chained up in one of the rusty rooms of the hq, and started to change, as it was a full moon. Ian started to change too, but I remember thinking, 'well this shouldn't be that bad for him. he's already been a vampire.' However, they ended up killing the biter and Ian returned to normal. I was not happy with this ending.
The second one was about Gaia making a real serialized manga and a book on the adventures of Ian. It picked up after the werewolf situation. Apparently I was reading these stories in the back of a car, with one of the developers in the passanger seat. This side story involved robots. Sasha and Moira were wondering what was going to happen to Ian, who seemed to be different. He was having conflicting emotions about who he really was. The NPC had to fight off some humaniod robots, and Ian was being very douchey. I was complaining to the developer that the stories made me go : (. The developer did not seemed please with this. In the end the robots were defeated with Ian gloomily thinking, "I am too human." It was then reveled that he was being compleeled to think these thought because he was.. a robot toooooo. An evil force was watching him on a monitor and speaking "I am too human" into a microphone to transmit them to Ian's "brain". I was very angry with this out come.

I think this is a sign that I need a story update, and it needs to reach my expectations. Ian needs to accept the fact that he is a dhamiper(but keep the blond hair) . I think that in all honesty, if Gaia cures him it is a message that we need to change ourselves to be accepted in society. What a depressing mesage. I will have to do something drastic (irl) if this is the message that is portrayed.