Sometimes you hit a point in your life where you feel like you've lost everything. There's nothing left to be gained, because everything has been lost. There's a pit in your stomach, this sinking pit full of pain and heartbreak. It's somewhere deep inside of you, and nothing can console it. Nothing makes you feel any better. Even when you pretend to be happy again, that pit inside of you is still there. It's still empty.
In this moment, you feel like there's nothing. You want to quit, it's not going to be better, you've lost the only the thing you really care about. Why? Why bother anymore. You don't know. Beyond any conscious logic, you keep pushing through. Some part of you makes you hold on. Some part of you still loves something. So you hold on, and you keep moving. You keep doing.
Time begins to pass, hours, days, weeks, months, years. And as that time passes, things fill your life again. But for so long, that pain, that breathtaking agony you've felt for so much of your life is there. Eventually, you love something again, and in it's own way, it blinds you. It blinds you from that pain you've felt; it shelters you. Maybe it stays. Maybe it doesn't. But in that time, you forget. You forget what's held on to your soul for so long. You're not even thinking about it.
However, there's just this moment, this moment where you look back. You see that old pain that held you down, and consumed you like a wild fire. And suddenly in this moment you come to realize you've made it. You've made it out, back out of that deepening darkness, back in to the sunlight you once felt. It's just astonishing. Despite everything you told yourself, you've made it. You've made it out of the pain and darkness in to the light. For that second, that old pain tries to take a hold of you again, but you realize, it's just a memory. I'm not there anymore. That pain doesn't own me anymore.
It's just flooring. How did I manage to escape this? How did I make it through? You finally see just how strong you are. Despite everything you've been put through, the pain you've felt, you survived. You made it.
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