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Bow's Diseased Rambling's

Community Member
Diary Of A Whimpy Teenager!
Ever feel like you are just so weird, that there is no way you belong anywhere? No? really? then here's what I think about that.

In my town, Thing's are different. I have a hard time belonging. So I thought, "OK then you are just not ment to be here forever" which made me pretty happy biggrin ...

This is where the story begins….
When your 17 almost 18 year's old, thinking about college and junk. Time seem's to pass by too fast! when your eating at the small....very small...kitchen table with your mouth full you speak into the distance "DUDE It's friggen SATURDAY? whaaaaaaat?, It's seriously SATURDAY?". While wipeing chips and cheese dip from your chin and lap you look outside the window and realize you seriously didn't know It was Saturday. In which you tell yourself, "your lame because you just spent weekend 206 doing nothing but eating chips and dip..." Now you are a depressed fat feeling monkey with no social life...>.<

Now you are thinking just how the fezz you got to be where you are now....In your pj's watching movie after movie wishing you could be as pretty as that chick a very handsome dude just fell head over feet for on your 2002's televison set that you told yourself If you sqint It almost look's like a up to date small flat screen tv that you could never afford unless you turned off your internet. Just said all that without a period....yes, without a pause..all In one breathe.

So, you (and when I say you I mean me) are now promising yourself you are going to a much needed walk through your favorite cemetery Sometime in the evening hours. You finally go; and you are cheered up for aprox. 3-4 hours. Now your home again and It's Monday, because even though you promised yourself you were going walking Sunday you totally blew yourself off making you feel like you have split personality, and again your depressed feeling like your "crazy". Again when I say you I mean me... Moving on....

OK, So Tuesday roll's around, and you are...ehh..kinda happy so you go for another walk, but this time, around town. OK first off, BIG MISTAKE. Either you get mean mugged because the way you dress, how your face look's, or because your just simply walking when you should be at home not "causing" people to feel so unconfortable that they "have" to stare.... Yea, It get's "that" weird. So you are banned from Red-E-Mart for about a month and a half, It's over now so you go into 1 out of 2 store's blevins has to find out you think the new girl working is pretty cool. Friendly and such. Nice lady. So then your not banned anymore. But still are banned from the 2nd store out of only 2 store's we have here. Because of something totally freaked out happend at this store "DOG'S" <----------- I have chosen to change the name because I'm scared that the lady that banned me will come find me and shank me therefor turning me into a zombie...and not a cool zombie either.... moving on.... still banned from there and really don't care. It was boring anyway.

Wednesday you feel better since you watched your brother and or mom take out the trash, you feel like they have dumped your sorrow's into a ugly smelly truck that will take it all away. Maybe that's what a day at the spa feel's like? who know's never had enough money to find out junk like that. But your still bored in having to do your school studies since your home-schooled and all that. (just add's that much more reason for people to make you out to be a total anti-social crazed person) (which is not true, I'm very social) Going to bed with a blank mind once again. like a single sheet of pale white printing paper....hmmm I need a tan o.0

Thursday creeps around my disappointing week that is so close to being over. Waking up to many voices in my head saying "you are going to finally have a good day that will include multiple interesting situation's that you couldn't use half your brain capacity to figure out the next step to happiness because your to lazy to try" All those potato chip bags should come with warning labels O.O' 1. I'm hearing voices and 2. I'm to lazy to worry about it. surprised . And still just sitting at the small.....very small.. kitchen table; eating chips and dip. Ah what a sad and terribly funny life to a random outsider.

Friday, Is there such thing as a Friday? is it real? what do you use it for? So It's the middle of the day before you find out once again It's Friday... What is wrong with your brain? why can't you remember when the day's are?. you never answer yourself that question. Hungry, you think you can eat your way back to remembering? Shut Tha Front Door Lady! no really, shut the front door you left it open and now you feel worse because you forgot to actually "shut the front door!" what is wrong with you? when you answer back out-loud "I don't know nor do I care" you start to freak out a little more. You go to bed crying because It's so funny.

Saturday...No freakin' way It's freakin' Saturday again...Saying it over and over Isn't going to make a change what day it is. And why would you want to change it anyway? It's still going to come! slowing it down doesn't give you any more time to "do" something when you have nothing and no one to "do" it with. Typing "do" has gotten me off track of the subject and I'm giggling because I typed "do"...I do worry about myself. But what can I "DO" bahahaha......*ehhHem*..moving on. >.>

Your point is. Time is different in this town. You don't belong because you are "Different' and It's complicated for other's to care and understand. Don't take it out on them, they don't know they are doing anything wrong. It's how they were brought up, It's how the "town" brought them up. It's not your fault, There's nothing wrong with you, your beautiful and that's why guy's never ask you out, your smart that's why you see thing's they don't, and your funny, that's why they NEVER get your joke's biggrin you see? your the normal one in it all!

At this point in time you smell something burning, because in all that time you were talking to yourself; you were burning your hand on the stove, cooking ham. Yumm smell's so good...

The Over.

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