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LOTR Shaman Style! chapter 2 |
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Disclaimers: I don't own Shamen king and i don't own lord of the rings.
We see a young kid with an unusually big afro by the name of Chocolove reclining against a tree in the Funbari, taking in all of nature's beauty. He would usually sic his Spirit Ally, a jaguar, Mic on a few squirrels, but for the most part he quietely sat and thought. Presently he hears a horse and carriage coming down the path a few feet from him. Excited, Chocolove gets up and runs to the edge of the path, where a black-haired man wearing a grey robe and pointy hat was riding the carriage towards the house known as Flame Inn.
"You're late." Chocolove said to the man. The man lifts his head to look at Chocolove, revealing that he is the powerful Silva the Grey.
"A Shamanic Wizard is never late, Chocolove, nor is he early." Silva said to Chocolove. "He arrives precisely when he means to, which is when someone is needed to sacrifice themselves in a blaze of a pyromaniac."
After a brief moment of silence, the 2 Shamans burst out laughing and Chocolove leaps onto the cart.
Some minutes later, Silva and Chocolove had ridden into the heart of the Funbari, where the resident humans welcomed/threw rotten fruit respectively at the wizard, who gave Chocolove a quizzical look.
"After you took Chrome on that adventure some years back, a few humans declared you as a 'Disturber of the Peace'. Chocolove told Silva, who was taking pot shots at the flying fruit.
"Oh, and what does that mean?"
"Not much, just that everyone can legally pelt you with rotten fruit..." Silva swore as he narrowly avoids getting hit on the head by a sheep that was thrown at him, "... or livestock." Chocolove finished saying. Eventually the duo reached Flame Inn, where Chocolove's gardener and best friend Manta Gamgee greeted them. The two friends left to prepare for the party as Silva knocks on Chrome's door.
"Not now! I'm busy trying to make my own totem weapon! Leave me alone or I'll kill you!" a voice said from the other side of the door.
"And what about those who have the power to make sure you never regain your famililars?!" Silva yelled at the door.
The door opens and we see a another Native American guy with a few more eagle feathers in his hair.
"Silva good to see you again. I apologize for my actions I think I can try again before I get killed." Chrome said as he let Silva into his house.
"So," Silva said, "Looking forward to the party?"
"I sure am I've got a great surprise for everyone."
"It's not going to be like your last surprise is it? I still smell like dead animals from it."
A few hours later we see Chocolove, walking amongst the other Shamans and Humans as the party rages on, sitting next to Manta. Following his friend's gaze, the Shaman sees a female Shaman by the name of Pirka sitting at the next table. "You gonna ask her to dance?" Chocolove asked.
Manta then replied, "No, I'm probably just gonna get slapped by her Mary Poppins-like bag."
A small distance away, we see Ren Meriadoc and Horohoro Took fiddling with a rocket of sorts.
"Are you sure about this?" Ren asked Horo, who replied, "Of course, dude! When have any of my plans ever gone wrong?"
"How about the one that you did three hours ago, you dolt? The plan involving Ball Boy, a roll of flypaper and half a ton of bear grease? Now there's a scene that will forever haunt me."
"Okay, I admit that plan was somewhat ill-judged. But THIS one is pure gold! Honest!"
"*sighs* So what is the plan?"
"We fire this...." Horo reads the label on the rocket, "...'Surface to Surface Missile.' that Silva brought with him and liven this party up a bit."
"That might work."
Horo pushes a button marked "Activate". The missile shoots into the sky before crashing right in the middle of the party. The resulting explosion sends Humans flying everywhere. Cut back to Horo and Ren, both of whom look a bit spooked.
Ren is silent as Horo says, "That... might not have been a fancy firework."
Ren looked at him evilly before starting to choke him. "And I bet we'll get blamed for this because of your stupidity and lack of intelligence to read to the whole blasted thing! Damn you!"
Then a voice behind them then said. "You're not wrong." The two Shamans turned around to ses a seriously mad and singed Silva glaring at them.
"Good luck, man" Horo said to Ren as he patted Ren's back before inching away.
Ren knew what he had planned and started to choke Horo Horo even more. "You're not getting away from me!"
An hour later, Chrome stepped up on to a stage, faced the audience and said, "Now that things have quieted down a bit..." cut to Silva, Horo, and Ren. The wizard has both Shamans in an extremely complicated and painful submission move.
"Apologize, damn you!" Silva said, tightening his grip.
Ren said, "Never!"
Horo then added with tears flowing from his eyes "Please let me go, dude, it was his fault."
Back with Chrome, "um... Now as you know I'm all about shocking people, so I have no problem telling you that I emptied all your bank accounts and I'm leaving to live it up in the wonderful world of the undead in Shanghai!" There was a loud yell of "What?!" while Chrome quickly puts on the Ring and disappears.
Chrome arrives at Flame Inn and enters were he is immediately pushed by Silva. "How did you get here?" Chrome asks.
Silva then answered, "Silver Wing flew me up here and you left the back door open."
"What do you want?"
"I want to talk to you about that ring of yours."
"What ring?"
"Oh for the love of mustard, that damn ring that your fonding in a increasingly disturbing way!"
"Oh that ring!" Chrome said as he allows Silva the tiniest glimpse of the Ring.
"Yes, that ring. Where, precisely, did you find it?"
"NO! You can't have it! It's mine! My Happy Place...." said Chrome suddenly.
Silva had a look on his face as if wondering where he could find a straight jacket for Chrome. "My Happy Place?" he then said. "I've heard others use that phrase before, but..."
"Ohhh, I see your game now..." Chrome snapped suddenly, "You're trying to distract me and take the ring for yourself! Well, it won't work you crook!"
"Chrome!" Silva roared angrily. Focus on Chrome as he backs away from Silva, a look of utter terror on his face. Cut back to Silva as he slowly summons all of his familiars. "I'M NOT TRYING TO ROB YOU...." Silva returns to his normal self, "...I'm trying to help you. I'll rob you later when I've run out of money because the Patch are so damn poor."
"Silva, I'm sorry." Chrome says as he hugs Silva, "Well, I'm off!" Chrome then quickly packs up a few belongings, including his dead familiars' remains, and heads for the door. A cough from Silva stops him.
"Chrome." Silva said as he faces the Indian, "You still have the ring."
Chrome drops the Ring and is about to leave when Silva coughs again. "I left the ring." Chrome politely said.
"The ring. Yes you gave THAT back. Now how about giving me back my wallet?" Chrome, after some 'gentle persuasion' from the wizard, gave Silva back his wallet and heads off towards Shanghai. Silva stared after him for a moment before examining the Ring on the floor. As his fingers touch it, we and the wizard see an evil eye and is followed by evil laughter surrounded by flames. Silva looks perturbed.
Some time later, Silva is sitting in front of the fire in Flame Inn, smoking his pipe. As he sits there pondering his last words with Chrome, Chocolove enters the house and says, "Chrome, Where is..." Chocolove enters the room where Silva is, his face falls, "Chrome's gone, isn't he?"
This startles Silva back to awareness. He turns around and smiles at Chocolove, "I'm afraid so. But, on a brighter note, he's left you Flame Inn and all that is within it." A dark evil laughter can be heard coming from somewhere, Chocolove looks spooked as Silva puts the Ring in an envelope and seals it some wax. He hands it to Chocolove and then makes for the door.
"Where are you going?" Chocolove asked, Silva answered with a warm smile on his face, "Nowhere special, just to an ancient archive to see if that ring is actually the harbringer of a terrible and evil doom."
"Oh... OK!!!"
Cut now to Nara, where Ryu is being tortured by the Nine X-Law Ringwraiths. After much yelling and trashing about, the Mexican screams out four words, "Funbari! Chrome! Takei Hiroyuki!"
"Okay, so the Ring is in the Funbari with some guy named Chrome, but who's this 'Takei Hiroyuki' guy?" one of the X-Law Ringwraiths asked his leader, Jean. Who simply said, "Who cares? Kill them all I say." The X-Law Ringwraiths ride out of Nara. Meanwhile, Silva has arrived at the archive and is being shown to the documents he needs by a Suzuki, the keeper of the archive, and his assistant Takei Hiroyuki.
"We don't get many wizards around these parts, you know." the spirit said to Silva as they walk down they walk down the stairs they were on, Silva then said. "Yes, yes, as you've told me nine times already. Just show me the documents!" Suzuki leads Silva to a large chamber stacked to the rafters with old documents. Silva boggles at the sight.
"THIS is the documentation of the last Shaman Tournament?!" he said to Suzuki.
"Hmm? Oh no, this is only the appendix. Over there are the actual papers on the last Shaman Tournament." Silva follows Suzuki's finger to a line of seventeen vaults. Vault No. 1 is marked with the words "The last Shaman Tournament: Books 1-1,999,999." Silva stares at the vaults in mute horror.
Ten hours later, and ravaged by an overabundance of coffee, Silva stared at Book 5,688,666 with maniac eyes under the worried gaze of Suzuki.
"This is ridiculous!" Silva yelled, throwing a number of scrolls in the air, "Where the hell is Mikihisa's account of the One Ring? Why are all these books filled with grooming routines of Mikihisa's spirit dogs?!?! ARRRGH!"
"Wait... did you say that you're looking for documents on Mikihisa and that Ring of his?" Suzuki piped up.
"Yes. Why?"
"Um, all you had to do was use the DVD player in the corner", Takei Hiroyuki then said.
"....What?" Silva said, his eyes bugging out.
"Everything you wanted to know about Mikihisa and the One Ring all on one handy, time saving disc."
"Why... didn't... you... tell... me... this... before?!?" Silva said, his left eye twitching like mad.
Suzuki noticing this quickly disappeared as fast as he could while his assistant said, "Well, you looked so determined with your pointy hat and long flowing robes that I... say, what're you gonna do with that table?"
Minutes later, and with the battered form of Takei Hiroyuki lying peacefully on the ground behind him, Silva activated the DVD player and watched as a picture of Mikihisa filled the TV screen. The former King of Tokyo turns, smiles at the camera and says, "Hi there! If you're watching this special Collector's Edition DVD, then you're obviously wondering if your ring is in fact the One Ring of Evil and Doom." Mikihisa gets up and walks over to a roaring fireplace. Standing on the other side of the fireplace is Keiko, who's smiling cheesily at the camera. "To find out the truth, simply use this test. First take your ring..." a ring magically appears in Keiko's hand, "... and chuck it into the nearest fire." Keiko does so, "After a second or two, pull the ring out of the fire -- remember to use tongs, now -- and check the ring for any mysterious French writing." Keiko pulls the ring out of the fire and shows it to the camera. It's a melted mess, but there is nothing on it.
"Now remember: If the ring is clear, then there's nothing to fear! If writing there be, then better you than me!" Mikihisa said and Keiko padded, "And that's a gurantee!" The two give the thumbs up sign as the words "Warning -- not an actual gurantee" flash on the bottom of the screen. The TV swtiches off.
"Well...isn't that smart?" Silva said as he gets up to leave.
Cut now to a road not far from where we just left to see Takei Hiroyuki walking down the road saying, "Geez, what was that guy's problem?'' Suddenly Marco rides towards Takei Hiroyuki on horseback, drawing his sword with obvious intent.
"Oh bloody he--"
SLICE!
To be continued...?
Stormkrow Willow · Thu Jan 11, 2007 @ 02:51pm · 0 Comments |
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Shaman King's Monty Python and the Holy Grail |
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I'm starting something new so here it is with Shaman King characters doing monty python and the holy grail.
I do not own Shaman King nor do i own Monty python and the holy grail. if i did i wouldn't be in the hell hole that i am at. however i do own my character which is me!
Scene 1 Ren: What is the REAL point of this?
Yoh: To help achieve peace with Hao.
Shamen: *stare at Yoh doubtfully*
Yoh: … I was forced to.
Manta: What? But who would make you do THIS Yoh? *Looks over script”
Stormkrow: I would!
Horo: And who exactly are you?
Stormkrow: I am Stormkrow. Now who was it that had a problem with my script?
Ren: I was. Who do you think you are forcing us to do such a thing?
Stormkrow: I got the idea from hours upon hours of numbing boredom. Except I’m doing- now where are the rest of the Shamen?
Faust: I think I saw them in the back.
Stormkrow: Thanks *walks off stage to the back*
Screams, cries, curses and swear words are heard from the back while an evil cackle is heard as well. A few seconds later, all the Shamen file out onto the stage (growling) with Stormkrow following.
Horo: What the heck was all that about?
Lee Bailong: Don’t ask.
Stormkrow: Okay, is everybody here? Good now let’s get on with this!
The scene fades onto a hill with mist surrounding it. The wind howls-
Joco and Mic (off screen): RRROOOAAARRR.
Marco (off screen): Wrong sound effect, moron.
A faint clopping like a horse’s hooves are heard in the distance. Finally, Yoh and Horo emerge above the hill. Yoh is walking like he’s on a horse except isn’t while Horo is banging two coconut shells together. Hence, the clopping earlier.
Manta (off screen): What is Yoh doing?
Marco (off screen): He’s finally snapped.
Ren (off screen): Snowboard looks like an idiot!
Stormkrow (off screen): Yeah I thought you might like this scene.
Zinc, Hao, Mikihisa, Lee Bailong and Ryu (off screen): BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Lyserg (off screen): TehehehehehehehHEHEHehehehEHHEheh!
Yoh *glaring off screen*: Whoa there! * Pretends to halt invisible horse.*
Horo: (clop clop)
Zinc, Hao, Mikihisa, Lee Bailong and Ryu (off screen): BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Lyserg: Halt! Who goes there?
Yoh: It is I, Yoh, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeator of the Saxons, sovereign of all England!
Manta (off screen): Son of who?
Stormkrow (off screen): Never mind that.
Lyserg: Pull the other one!
Marco (off screen): What the crap?
Yoh: I am... and this is my trusty servant Horo.
Ren (off screen): No! He’s my servant!
Horo: Shut up Len!
Yoh: … We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Opocho (off screen): What is a Camelot, Master Hao?
Lyserg: What? Ridden on a horse?
Lee Bailong (off screen) *as Yoh*: No, this is my imaginary friend Fluffy.
Marco (off screen): Must be one big imaginary friend if it can hold up Yoh
Yoh: *glaring at Marco* Yes!
Zinc (off screen): Yes that it has to be a big imaginary friend or yes to riding on a horse?
Manta (off screen): But… there’s nothing there.
Stormkrow (off screen): There’s SUPPOSED to be nothing there.
Manta (off screen): Oh.
Lyserg: You’re using coconuts!
Zinc (off screen): No, really?
Yoh: What?
Lee Bailong (off screen): He said -mpphh.
Stormkrow puts her hand over Lee Bailong’s mouth.
Stormkrow (off screen): There’s no need to state the obvious
Lyserg: You’ve got two empty halves and you’re bangin’ ‘em together!
Anna (off screen): What’s with the accent?
Silva (off screen): Maybe Lyserg has a sore throat?
Yoh: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercea, through-
Lyserg: Where’d you get the coconuts?
Mikihisa (off screen): Why does that matter?
Yoh: … We found them.
Lyserg: Found them? In Mercea? The coconut’s are a tropical fruit!
Yoh: What?
Lee Bailong (off screen): Good question.
Lyserg: Well this is a Temperate Zone.
Ren (off screen): A what zone?
Stormkrow (off screen): Don’t ask.
Yoh: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climates in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
Ryu (off screen): What does that mean?
Lyserg: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Hao (off screen): No, but he is making it obvious that he’s lost it.
Yoh *glaring daggers at Hao*: Not at all. They could be carried.
Lyserg: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
Faust (off screen): When did it come to the conversation that a swallow would carry it?
Yoh: It could grip it by the husk!
Opocho (off screen): What is a husk, Master Hao?
Stormkrow (off screen): Not now.
Lyserg: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five-ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
Everyone on stage and off turns to Stormkrow except Lyserg.
Stormkrow (off screen) *shrugs*: It's what it says in the original script.
All (onscreen and off screen) except Lyserg: Ooh.
Yoh: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Yoh from the Court of Camelot is here?
Manta (off screen): But… I though he was from Japan.
Stormkrow (off screen): He’s just sticking to the script.
Manta (off screen): Oh okay.
Lyserg: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
Once again, everyone on stage and off turns to Stormkrow except Lyserg.
Stormkrow (off screen) *glares*: Look, people, I don't know if it's true or not it just says that in the script so I'm goin' along with it.
Yoh: Please!
Ren (off screen): Yes, please shut up!
Stormkrow (off screen): I don’t think he meant that Ren.
Lyserg: * trying to ignore everything off screen* Am I right?
Yoh: I’m not interested
Marco (off screen): You’re not the only one.
Lee Bailong: It could be carried by an African swallow!
Hao (off screen): Whoa! *Looks beside himself and behind* He sure runs fast.
Lyserg: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.
Mikihisa (off screen): What is the point of this conversation.
Stormkrow (off screen): I don't know.
Lee Bailong: Oh, yeah. I agree with that.
Yoh: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court of Camelot?!
Hao (off screen): * as Lyserg* For the last frickin' time! No. Now bug off!
Lyserg: But then of course, African swallows are non-migratory.
Lee Bailong: Oh yeah…
Anna (off screen): How exactly do they know all of this?
Stormkrow (off screen): They don’t. They’re just following the script.
Anna (off screen): Figures.
Lyserg: So they couldn’t even bring a coconut back anyway.
Yoh and Horo give up and figure to just ‘ride’ off.
[Clop clop clop]
Marco (off screen): Smart move, for once.
Lee Bailong: Wait a minute! Suppose two swallows carried it together!
Hao (off screen): Are they still on about that?
Ren (off screen): It would seem so.
Lyserg: No, they’d have to have it on a line.
Lee Bailong: Well simple! They’d just have a strand of creeper!
Manta (off screen): A strand of what?
Lyserg: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
Lee Bailong: Well, why not?
End of first scene
Yoh: Why did I agree to this again
Stormkrow: Well technically, you didn’t agree. I forced you to.
Yoh: Oh, yeah..
Marco: Oh Thank Buddha I wasn’t up the- Hey why are you looking at me like that?
Stormkrow: Don’t worry, your time will come. *Grins evilly*
All:…
Stormkrow Willow · Thu Jan 11, 2007 @ 02:37pm · 0 Comments |
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Enter Suicide Sally: Suicide Trip |
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I'm at it again. I'm creating characters that will hopefull have their own little storylines and such and i've gotta write a list so i don't forget most of them but that's later.
I own Suicide Sally if you want to use her for any use let me know and pay me 500g. so here it is!
First there is darkness.
Thicker and deeper than the blackest black. Then, suddenly, mad colors, swirling, whirling, wrenching, forms and shapes, cold, then hot, then cold again.
It is Insanity.
Gone one further step insane.
She feels the sensations long before the obscene monsterosities are visually burned into her mind...
The cold caresses her with fearsome, frigid fingers, pulling at her, clutching at her, tugging her down, down, ever down...
She resists fighting, clawing, but the sensations are everywhere and they press so heavily upon her writhing flesh...
Cold so keen, so painful, it is like an arctic hoarfrost.
She dives low to avoid the omnipresent icy hands.
But the cold abruptly ends.
Heat from deep within the ground that had not existed even a moment before suddenly rushes up to blanket her. Her skin hardens, tenses as boiling waters hold her in an inescapable grip.
Again she is brought down tumbling wildly toward the great frangible glass-like membrane which floats calmly in the dimensional seas so very far below...
She tries resisting, but any fight is useless now.
In a moment she is pulled through, shattering the bounds of realities.
And, as she is drawn along, pushed further into the depths, rhythmic pulses of heat, then cold, the heat again lure her on her headlong plunge.
Unconsciousness phases in and out as she is helplessly dragged along by the other dimensional undertowe.
The first sensations fade now, her jangled thoughts return as she spies the swirling wind-tunnel drawing her deeper, ever deeper toward some phantom light so very far away.
For the first time in these painful moments, she can think...
As she continues floating down toward the warm orb of burning energy.
Stormkrow Willow · Thu Jan 11, 2007 @ 02:34pm · 0 Comments |
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Note: I just wrote this
"Did it hurt?"
"Did what hurt?"
"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
"You know what? It actually did! 'Cause I landed on my head and that cracked my skull in half.
After I put that back together I got hit by a car. It was an SUV with Firestone tires that crashed into a tree a day later.
On that same day was when these wings decided to pop out. Boy was I doped up on illegal medication from Mexico that day!
So you tell me:
Does it really hurt when you fall from X amount of feet from Heaven to Earth going at about, oh, so many light years per second?"
"Gee, I never thought about it that way. I guess it kinda does."
"You have no idea."
Stormkrow Willow · Tue Sep 12, 2006 @ 03:13pm · 0 Comments |
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This is a conversation taking place between me and my sister.
"I'm Cuckoo."
"Cuckoo for cocoa puffs?"
"What's that?"
"Cucoa puffs. The cereal rich with chocolate syrupy goodness that deals with a bird that goes crazy and sees bowls of cocoa puffs cereal in his eyes and goes psycho. He brings chocolate waves of chaos in his wake and he's usually around a bunch of kids. The kids eat it and go insane 'cause of the sugar rush they get from the cereal. And then they eat more and more of this. They start to believe that they can't live without it and they get a fear of zombies. Then they get their parents to buy more boxes of it 'cause the kids' addictions have progressed. Then the next thing you know their addictions have taken over their minds and they're stealing boxes 'cause their parents can't afford to buy the cereal. Then they take over the store 'cause the boxes aren't enough anymore. Then the company stops sending the boxes 'cause of the take over. The kids become blinded with rage and bowls of cocoa puffs and they take over the company and the factories. Then after a long and chocolately battle the kids are conquered by the Japanese army. And then they take the kids to Xavier's Institute for Gifted Students."
"Woah."
"What? Were you expecting the French army to come and save the day?"
Stormkrow Willow · Tue Sep 12, 2006 @ 03:09pm · 0 Comments |
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Yeah, I don't know, I was driving down the road when I started making up words to this not knowing what I was doing. I thought about it later and tossed the words to Deck the Halls out the window, ran over them 5 times, and finished this.
For the record, I don't own Deck the Halls, somebody else does and good for them 'cause if I did the whole thing would sound so freakin morbid they wouldn't even be allowed to play it on the radio.
Many muffins on the highway Fa-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la See one coming straight at me Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la Hear it go squish on the tires Fa-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la Fry the bodies up for breakfast Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la!
Merry Muffins!
Stormkrow Willow · Thu May 25, 2006 @ 03:48pm · 0 Comments |
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What would YOU (yes you) do? |
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WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I: » I committed suicide: » I lived next door to you: » I started smoking: » I stole something: » I was hospitalized: » I ran away from home: » I got into a fight and you weren't there:
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY: » Personality: » Art: » Comments: » Character Designs:
WHAT ABOUT US: » Who are you? » Are we friends? » When and how did we meet? » How have I affected you? » What do you think of me? » What's the fondest memory you have of me? » How long do you think we will be friends or enemies? » Have I ever hurt you? » Would you hug me? » Are we close? » Emotionally, what stands out? » Do you wish I was cooler? » On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I? » Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. » Am I loveable? » How long have you known me? » Describe me in one word. » What was your first impression? » Do you still think that way about me now? » What do you think my weakness is? » Do you think I'll get married? » What about me makes you happy? » What about me makes you sad? » What reminds you of me? » What's something you would change about me? » How well do you know me? » Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? » Do you think I would kill someone? » Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?
Stormkrow Willow · Sun May 14, 2006 @ 01:29am · 5 Comments |
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