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How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Trust the Greatmother |
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...I grew up Jewish. And while I still love and cherish and thank the Greatmother everyday for my family, the religion of the household just never really fit with me. Of course, while I was young, I didn't notice it, but there were signs, looking back.
...I went to a very small private Jewish elementary school, where each grade never got larger than 30 students, and I was always on the outside of things, someone who was just sort of there.
Maybe a year or so after my Bat Mitzvah--the Jewish coming of age ceremony--I just started to question things. Judaism just didn't call out to me, it seemed so stark and unfeeling, though the Torah and the Chumash are always talking about how merciful and emotional their God is. It just never clicked with me.
...I researched a lot of different religions before Wicca came to me: different sorts of Judaism, Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism. I talked to my friends, to my neighbors, even the rabbi at my parent's synagogue--who tried to "help" me find another version of Judaism when he realized that he wasn't going to be able to convince me to remain at that shul. Anyone who would listen, I tried to talk to.
...Admittedly, I didn't do a very good job communicating most of the time, since I didn't even know what it was that I was looking for--until one day I was browsing the religions section in school's library and a book on Wicca--I'm sorry to say that I can't remember which one--caught my eye.
...The title probably said something about Witches, or Magick or some-such; I've always been interested in magic, dragons, witches, elves--the realm of fantasy, so I thought. I picked it up, and I felt this sense that everything would be alright in the end. That things would be okay.
...And I cried. Oh, Greatmother, how I cried! I was so releaved to know that there was a place for me, and that there were others who had been as lost as I was, even though I hadn't realized until then just how lost I'd been. Like losing something dear to you, I didn't even notice it was there until it was gone.
...It wasn't until the day before my sixteenth birthday that I started my year-and-a-day of study under my friend Jessica, but even so, I knew that this was the Path for me. I knew that I'd found my place in the Greatmother's plan.
...And I finally felt whole.
 th ii mble rose · Thu Dec 24, 2009 @ 04:29am · 0 Comments |
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Is not so random or angry after all.
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Alright, how many of us are incredibly disgruntled about the new changes in gaia's layout/functionality?
I know I am.
So, I'm running off.
Indefinitely.
I'm going over to menewsha, which is basically gaia only better with classic games and better people (i.e., literate.).
Not that you all are not good people; which is why I'm bothering posting this.
Consider this an invitation to join Mene with me.
Over there, I'm "Steam-sports," a name inspired by one of these "type-what-you-see" boxes.
I just have the one account, so just stop by and say hello.
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By no means is this a "I-hate-you-all-and-I'm-leaving-you" message.
I only hate the new ignorant masses that seem to have taken over this once glorious site.
I will, however, still be visiting this site now and then, just not nearly as frequently. And usually only to continue a private role play between ChainedShadow and myself over PMs.
I'll still be contactable via PMs, and any other means that I've given you all individually, but I'm leaving.
Please, don't ask for my items.
th ii mble rose · Thu Oct 16, 2008 @ 03:12am · 0 Comments |
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I was digging through my My Pictures folder on my desk top and found some stuff. Have a look see!
Pixel:
^ is my DA avatar.
Traditional: (I lack a scanner, so... yeah.)
  
MS Paint:
  
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Okay guys, I found another one. It has no title, but I think it's got a good message.
If people come in different sizes,
What of birds, or butterflies's?
What of the leaves on the many trees?
And what of the pieces of you and me?
People come in many colors,
Brown and white, and black, and others.
Cats, too, come in different sizes,
In shapes, and colors, moods and guises!
So, people come in different sizes,
Colors, moods, and disguises.
But these things, to you and me,
Seem unimportant.
'Cause we, are we.
Let me know what you think, please.
th ii mble rose · Wed Jul 11, 2007 @ 11:19pm · 2 Comments |
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I love to write poetry. Even if some people think that the poems I write are bad, I still feel like I need to post some them. Just to get a few messages out there. I only have this one with me right now, so that's all I'll post, but (when I find where I left them) I'll post some more.
Sickly Orange Glow
Sickly orange glow,
O, how I hate you so.
Discoloring the sky,
From the city lights below.
You block out all he stars at night,
How I wish there was no light
From that sickly orange glow.
th ii mble rose · Sat Apr 14, 2007 @ 06:24pm · 0 Comments |
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Okay, time to rant.
Basically, my life sucks. My parents depend on me too much, my brother just ruined the dinner I was going to make for my family, and Purim (Holiday) is in two days and I don't have all of my costume.
So I was going to make this big elaborate dinner for my Dad's birthday and I find that we're missing to ingredients. TWO! My brother being the only one able to drive currently at my house, I sent him off to the store to get them--the store that's five minutes from my house, driving--and he comes back two hours later with only one.
And then I went to my room and cried. That's all I did. Cried. And I can't even cry right! It's as if my body just doesn't make tears anymore.
I think the reason I read so much is because I want to escape reality. I always have my nose in some fantasy book. Lately they've been about vampires. Actually, they've mostly been about vampires. And people who deal with teen angst. I really feel sorry for some of the characters.
I just don't know what to do with myself nowadays. I'm scared that if I don't do something, I'll wind up in some dead-end job pushing papers around, or answering phones. I'm trying to write a book, but I doubt I'll ever finish it. That's just the way things are around here.
Like I said, it sucks.
I'm just glad I got this out of my system. Thanks for listening, guys, and please leave a comment.
th ii mble rose · Sat Mar 03, 2007 @ 01:01am · 4 Comments |
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