Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Chapter 1: First impression

I felt sick to my stomach as I watched each yellow line from the road pass. I watched each car drove by, focusing on the cracks in the road. I guess I could picture myself that way; like a road. I can feel myself cracking, soon everything with shatter; my soul, my heart, even what makes me…me. Soon everything about me will be eliminated.
I felt pathetic in a way, absolutely pathetic. My dad wanted me go to Juneau Alaska—which is where my depressing grandma lives. I can’t deny that it’s a beautiful wonder world kind of place—but I prefer hot beaches than cold wind.
I gave up everything when I moved to San Diego; it took half my life away. I gave up a few somewhat close friends—now they can barley—not that I gave them a reason to—call.
I could have said “No” to going, but I was too much of a coward. I have been that way ever since my mother died when I was fourteen, I’ve never been the same ever since. Avoiding people the way I avoid my feelings
I was that kind of person who always blamed the world for everything. I never made friends after that…well friends that could at least understand me. They tried to help me, but I just pushed them away even further.
My dad wanted me to have a life again; to go outside; to smile. I dreaded the fact, but I didn’t say anything.
Alaska was either a place where it was dark or light. It was very cold, no doubt the coldest place I’ve ever been to. And I new that the farther I am away from my home in California, the farther I would be from my mother.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~