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recently, i've been doing a bit of "fantasy escapades" w/ someone..
(it doesn't matter if you know him or not..
or whether it's in true life or in this pixelated life).
this summer i've finally gotten over "him".
due to the fact we weren't always or almost always together since we were miles apart.
and i guess my mind just told me to "move on."
but staying in bukidnon stirred up a few emotions that i thought i no longer had for the guy who broke my heart in the year '04 and to the guy whose heart i broke in the same year and in the same place(bukidnon).
though my summer was somehow rough and most of the time boring.
there were happy times..
i don't know if i am happy with the summer i had or not...
but i know,
i feel,
i think,
i believe that i have somehow grown a bit mature to some facts.
but then again what happened this past few days made me realize i'm still the same foolish girl i was.
falling for someone she will never have and never did have in the first place.
i let myself being used again.
i thought i don't take things seriously if it's about or it's the "lovelife" part.
but then again,
i can't stop thinking of or if there was any possibility we could be.
but will there be?
is there a chance?
or should i just give up on the hope of really finding someone who loves me as i am and not because of what he thinks or sees me as me.
and i no longer want to be used.
i'm sick of tired of it.
my mind is screaming "enough!"
my heart says "no more!"
but all over i still fall into a deep void of abyss..
with no one to catch me,
no one hear me,
no one to stop me,
and no one to save me..
-06/07/07-
rendalena
donate pls! quest angelbow 5586/23000
 ren17 · Thu Jun 07, 2007 @ 05:02pm · 0 Comments |
