I've been busy.
I've discovered that I've done a lot of growing up in the past few years. I've matured, made better grades, and have just been offered a editor position for my school's art and literary magaziene.
But the thing that has stood out to me most in these past few months is the fact that I've outgrown my first "love".
He seems to be the same as he was in the eighth grade, which is why I've stopped liking him: I don't think he grew with me.
So, now I'm very embarrassed about how I handled things when I did "love" him. I acted like a complete idiot. I followed him around like a starry-eyed puppy, I did random things for him, and even did group projects by myself (but that was partially because I couldn't trust the rest of my group with the work).
But now I see who he really is: just a dork. I thought I "fell" for a dork.
Just the thought of it leaves this heavy feeling in me, almost like I'm guilty or extremely sad. I don't know what it is really, but it makes me feel a bit better sometimes when I think about how far I've come.
You can love someone in any amount. You can care for them and keep them safe with you. You can give them a friend, but that's all. When you're in love with sombody, that never changes. You can't escape it; not with divorce, not with time, not with anything. True love is when you want to share your life with someone and you don't care how long or how hard it is, all you know is that you want to spend your life with the one you love.
I could have said that better, but I'm a little distracted right now.
Oddery - Undead Hologram