 |
Kijotora's Space |
This is a place where I write things I think about and may need help on. |
 |
Kijotora
Community Member
|
Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 @ 03:01am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 @ 04:18am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Kijotora
Community Member
|
Kijotora
Community Member
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 @ 05:51am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2007 @ 05:23am
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
Never to be loved
God truly meant for some to never be loved.
Before I met him I had told my friends I wanted a romantic, a sweet guy who would love me. If I had to chose looks I wanted blond hair and blue eyes, the image of gentle gentleman sort. But more than anything I wanted him to sing. He could look like one of the undead but as long as he sang what he felt I would love him.
I met him among friends. I never really noticed him because he was quiet. But when I saw him for what he was I felt my heart fight itself, whether to even try again or to stay hidden. A few things I found out, he was the crush of one of my friends that rejected her, he was a gentleman who practiced civilry to please the crowd, he had suffered a resent reject, and he was able to make me smile. He said things that I would blush at for hours and feel giddy about for days. Such sweet things that I wanted to hear but had never heard before came from him, in ways I could have only dreamed of. We would talk till the early hours of the next day, asking questions and both answering. In some questions we described each other by different means. He was my moon, and my angel of music. He called me a starry night, and a blue rose. We watched Phantom of the Opera and he sang Phantom while I sang Christine. Many times I just had to hug him because I felt like I would burst from my emotions. I wanted to sing for him. I would tell my friends all the little things and they would tell me they'd never seen me so happy.
I went to the mall with him and two other girls, one the rejected but was still friends. The other had stolen the eyes of my past crush but with him it didn't seem to matter. She had a boyfriend that was a guy I had considered trying to know but gave up on. She seemed to change her mind from every guy I looked at and said maybe. In one store she pulled me aside and said she and my angel of music were kind of together. I smiled and shook my head, saying I really didn't mind either way. She asked me where the other girl stood and I told her that she was getting over him. The girl took it and walked back to everyone else. I felt my heart shatter, but I had told him that I was uncomfortable with her but I promised him I would smile for him. We went back to his house and watched Phantom of the Opera again. I shared Christine's part with the rejected and when I did sing I tried, putting forward my last performance, though I didn't know it at the time. He made us food and I avoided them while making pitiful excuses to. When we watched another movie I sat alone on the floor while they cuddled on a couch. Eventually he came and sat behind my head on a chair. I would've been fine but the other two girls tried to get close to me. I walked out saying I was getting water. He followed me and waited while I hid in the bathroom. When I came out he said he knew something was wrong and wanted to help me. I told him that there was nothing he could do. He tried to get me to follow him back to where the others were but I ran, out the door and down the street. I didn't expect him to but he followed and told me he wanted me to be happy. I told him that he couldn't make me be and that for the second time in my life the girl had taken the eyes of the man I looked to. I walked away and he went back home. I cried the walk home and told my dad I had just felt like walking home. Being the fool he is he believed me in front of my tear stained face and left me alone. Now I sit here writing, knowing that now he could never love me now or even bear to look at me.
Though the saddest part was looking over my shoulder and knowing no one would follow...
|
 |
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Kijotora
Community Member
|
Kijotora
Community Member
|
|
Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2007 @ 04:33pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 @ 10:37pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Kijotora
Community Member
|
Kijotora
Community Member
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 @ 03:34am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
