These are sentences that I chose from random journal entries over the past year or so ~ that I strung together to make one somewhat cohesive piece.
“Everything is precious ~ the raindrops outside my window, the candle’s flame, the shadow of my dried roses onto the ceiling. Right now, everything is illuminated.
I will proceed to enjoy life from here on out.
But there is still something missing and I think I’m close to finding it.
Maybe it’s an evolutionary impulse telling me I have to change or else I’ll fall back into another depression.
I believe that there is a difference between being in love with someone/something and being nostalgic about it. …Nostalgia makes you question things and make you feel like you could get back whatever it was that you had in the past. That doesn’t work.
It’s hard to just let go and let him live his life without me, but I would like to not be crazy anymore.
I love seeing him smile & making him laugh; that alone makes up for all the hardships we go through.
That’s the one thing that can be perceived as good from him ~ the fact of the expansion of my emotions, even if they don’t feel good.
Being that it’s been a year since we first expressed our feelings to each other, I found my dream most peculiar. In the dream, I didn’t force anything - I sat back patiently and saw his feelings for me. I remember telling him that I’ve always loved him.
Love lies beneath the surface where words cannot be used.
I see life in new ways. More beautiful ways, and I treasure it ~ all of it.
It’s so beautiful to be holding the man you’re making love with and to be free of everything that normally weighs you down ~ thoughts, stress, concepts of anything other than this moment ~ and to experience oneness silently & truly.
He told me about the few times I’ve kissed him in the past, that I hardly even remembered.
How do you know if your heart speaks truths, lies, or anything at all?
Part of trying to understand is questioning
I guess it just takes bravery, and taking chances, and knowing that there’s no real way to fail.
As humans, there are so many things to love about this place that are irrelevant to our souls after we depart & return to the stars.
I was spending a few moments holding Annabel and recognizing that she’s able to love me just as I’m able to love her. Maybe that’s why humans like dogs so much; they share similar capacities for love.
Love is an awareness, a present linking emotion or recognition of oneness.
This is the best time in my life thus far; I have nothing to worry about, and everything I could possibly need or ask for. I don’t know what did it… It’s all Pete’s doing, maybe. He makes me an enhanced version of myself… It’s just a great time to be alive, and more wonderful to be receiving unconditional love from my favorite friend, Petey.
I am not sure where it is this life is taking me ~ but I’m ready.
I got lucky to have as good of an existence as I do.
The rain reminds me that this is it - I can’t forget to appreciate each moment.”
· Thu Jun 23, 2011 @ 09:31am · 0 Comments