~start 11:26 may 11~

This is my last journal entry...to the person that I loved all the years I have known you....you treated me with kindness and friendship, you treated me gently, you use to like me and even when you told me you were just a friend I still loved you. you told me once and I didn't believe you and tried endlessly to after you......you made me feel soo many different emotions anger that you didn't like me like I did, fear that I might lose you, sadness that I find out the truth, happiness at one time to believe to still have a shot of getting you, shock of the news i found out, and doesn't more. I tried to change myself so you can like me, I gave up bad habits, I gave up almost everything to be with you.Hell I would of been bi for you too. But what do you do? you tell me you don't like me, you flirt with me, you give me wrong signals, and dressing up like you did tonight only makes me more sad then ever. I was the one who wanted to take you away from all of the things you are going through. I wanted you to like me like I do to you. but I c I wont be able to do that now. I guess your new girlfriend or person you like will be your way out of here or you might stay here. was it me? was it because I wasn't that man enough to get you?..I would of done every thing for you. I would of DONE ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING FOR YOU! I am hurt, torn to pieces, heartbroken, destroyed my only thing that kept me coming here to visit you and right now your only around the corner from me. but now that i iknow the truth....i have no other reason to come back here. It feels like i been stabbed a bunch of times to the heart. I dk if i can recover from all of this. I guess I will be alone with my life.........nothing more then a worthless person. I loved you so much...was I wrong to love you....was I wrong to care for you......was I wrong for everything? never thought i see the day i be like this.....i jst hope i dont commit suicde.....I loved you..and you broke my heart you were everything to me and now i have nothing....

~end of entry and the love of my life at 12:00~