OK, I'm not a big 'blogger' so here goes...
I have a wonderful older brother, we've been through so much crap, and he's always been there for me. We had an incident when we lived with our grandparents. And the day I told him about my 10 year pain... he had me out of there in 2 days. He went off to live with friends, and I went into foster care. (This was when I was 15 and he was 17) He visited me every day, or called me when he souldn't. He always made sure I was ok, and if I wanted ANYTHING, he was there. Even if I just wanted out of the house to go eat ice cream with my big bro. So anyways, that supposed to show how close we were. lol
Recently he met this girl... she's great... but... they have decided to get married. They've only been dating for like 3 months... I know way back when people used to do it all the time, but that was then. It doesn't seem to work so well now-a-days...
I have had a few friends get married lately. They had even been dating for a few years. And they hate being married and regret it. I just have this thing... I want to know someone for a while, REALLY know them, love them, want to be with them FOREVER and know I could handle it. I'm not sure what my bro is thinking, and I love the girl too... but I think the intentions are wrong... I'm scared.
I think it might just be that my brother has been mine and mine only for 19 years of my life, so I don't want to give that up... but I always knew eventually I would have to. But it still hurts... that my brother will never be the same. He will either have a wife to go home too, or eventually be a divorced man. Not saying that will happen, and I hope it doesnt... but it could, and that scares me.
I hate seeing people hurt... or suffer and I don't want my brother to have someting that will hurt for the rest of his life if it doeant work out... I'm sure I've done things he didn't approve of... but it just sucks that he asks my opinion but it doesnt matter... I hate that.
But I suppose that's part of life right? Getting used to people not listening to you and dealing with it... Correct? I guess I just need to learn that... It's pretty difficult though...
Pantheyr · Mon Oct 09, 2006 @ 06:15am · 0 Comments |