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1.I will not sing "Im off to see the wizard" when sent to the headmasters office.

2.I must not wear my "DEATH-EATER AND PROUD OF IT" shirt to school.

3.I must NOT lock Gryffindors and Slytherins in a room together and take bets on which house will come out alive.

4.Calling ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeist at Hogwarts.

5.I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the whomping willow.

6.I will never ask Harry Potter if his scar scences are tingling.

7.I will not follow Potions instructions in reverse just to see what happens.

8.I am not to owl copies of the Evil Overload to suspected death eaters.

9.First years are not to be fed to fluffy.

10.Bringing fortune cookies to Divanatcion class does not count for extra credit.

11.I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I was hardcore".

12.If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

13.House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

14.I will not call the Defence Against Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

15.I will not lick Trevor.

16.It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.

17.It is a REALLY bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.

18.I will not teach the first-years to sing "A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End".

19.I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

20.I will not give any girl a one half of a set of two way mirrors as a Christmas present, especially if I don't tell her what it is.

21.Forty-two is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S.

22.I will not put a book of muggle fairy tales in the history section in the libary.

23.I am not allowed to declare the offical hug a Slythering day.

24.I am not to steal the sword of Gryffindor from Dumbledore`s office and use it to patroll the hallways.

25.I will not tell first years that Professor Snape is the "voice of god".

26.I will not dress up as Lord Voldemort at Halloween.

27.The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date for the Yule Ball.

28.Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year`s Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher is tastless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

29.I am not allowed to introduce peeves to paintballing.

30.I am not to bring a Magic eight ball to Divination class.

31.I will not create a pin-up calendar of the Slytherin girls and call it "Voldie's Angels".

32.I will not convince the house elves to unionize.

33.Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house is forbidden.

34.Voldemort, after being defeated, did not get served... (he got pwned!)

35.Providing Engorgio charms to students that are... lacking... before the Winter Ball will make your Head of House most displeased.

36.The condition of Professor Snape's hair has nothing to do with the Muggle movie "There's Something About Mary."

37.It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Professor Lupin that "once you go Black, you never go back."

38. I will not teach the veela the lyrics to "Oops, I Did It Again" even if they ask nicely.

39.Singing "If I Were a Rich Man" around the Weasleys is rude.

40.I may not sell Umbridge's quill to emo students, especially if they're no good at poetry.

41.I deserved the extra punishment when I sang "Fat Bottomed Girls Make the Rocking World Go Round" to Madame Maxime.

42.Replying to every question that Professor Lupin asks with, "Are you ******** Sirius?" is not funny, not even the first time.

43.I will not under any circumstances send a bottle of shampoo to Professor Snape no matter how bad he needs it.

44.I'm allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, and an owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, tasmainian-devil, or phirana.

45.There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth house at Hogwarts... And I'm not a member of that house nor am I it's founder.

46.I am not allowed to use silencing charms on my professors.

47.I must not charm Firenze pink and call him my little pony.

48.I will not give Hagrid pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals.

49.It is not necessary for me to yell "BAMF" every time I apparate.

50."To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate carreer choice.