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OK, so here, for the first time, I will speak in detail about something which bothers me deeply. It's this horrible dream that I had in Middle-School, about 8th grade. It is still disturbingly vivid in my mind, despite the fact that I am now a senior in High School…
Anyhow, I'm in the French/spanish classroom in the middle school, and I am arguing with three "friends" of mine about the boy I was dating at the time. They were insulting him and I finally go upset and left first the classroom and then the building. I was walking across the crosswalk that runs across one of the busiest streets in town to get to the library on the other side. All of a sudden, while I am in the middle of the crosswalk, this enormous (not the low-riders, not even the midsize, but like the big trucks that could almost be semis they're so freakin big) blue pickup truck with an orange-yellowing plastic visor and no driver or passengers comes barreling down the road from my right, and hits me, runs me over, what have you. I am knocked to the ground, and I can feel, FEEL, mind you , in a dream, that my whole right side has buckled, crumpled, and become broken- many ribs, hip, shoulder, etc. The pickup skids, pauses for a moment on my left, and comes back again. I am trying to crawl out of the crosswalk, out of the path of this nutcase, and to the safety of the side of the road with the library. The truck does not want me to do that. By now there is a fair crowd forming, like how humans always flock to sites of disaster and pain, and I can hear faintly the sounds of the sirens atop the ambulances as I am hit again, and many of the major bones on my right side crumple. The truck comes by again and again, determined to grind me into a bloody pulp. It crushes my legs & my arms and as I can see my "friends" from earlier standing in front of the library , staring soundlessly, emotionlessly at me. The truck comes roaring at me from the left again, and this time is its last, for i see it driving madly off to my right as the ambulance finally pulls up. As I am hurried onto a stretcher I can feel myself fading away- I know that I am dead; that last set of wheel-marks are the ones that crushed my pelvis and whole lower half of my spinal column. I am bleeding everywhere that you shouldn't and as they shut the doors of the ambulance, I die.
It's quite disconcerting, and is so troublesome when it dwells in your mind. It's much worse than most of my other dying dreams, although i don't know why it would be worse than any others where I am brutally murdered.
Please excuse the bad spelling- I am typing fast and one-handed. Please please, interpret this dream for me. stare
 Taltalnen · Wed Feb 21, 2007 @ 05:43am · 0 Comments |
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I do not like children. Their high-pitched, squeaky little voices grate on my ears like a rusty ice pick trying to drive its way into my brain, and they're so LOUD! gonk Why, why are they so loud? They will scream into your ears rather than speak softly, even if they are only three inches behind you! They are disgusting in their hygeine- especially whenit comes to wiping themselves and flushing the toilet, and they never wash their hands or brush their dirty little plaque-covered teeth unless they are forced to.
Some of the worst culprits I know are the ones I live with; my three younger siblings, two boys and a girl, who for the purposes of anonymity I shall dub Lock, Shock, and Barrel.
Barrel, the youngest, is a bright little boy, but who has certain nasty habits that I utterly despise, such as the cruel way he teases and mocks just to get attention even though he knows it'll make everybody else mad, his horrible almost pathological lying, his wiping his boogers upon any fixed object scream - couches, chairs, etc. I have had occasion to, several times, make him scrape his snot off with his nails- and his (possibly unintentional?) cruelty to animals- my grandmother's cat won't stay in the same room as him, and he has gotten more growls out of my dear dog than anybody else. I love my dog; he's the only sibling that I will consistently claim! Barrel was also diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome earlier this summer, which explains the twitches.
Shock, the girl, is probably the best of the three little monsters, but she can be really annoying as well. Half the time she is an empath and is always easy to upset- you can send her into tears with the slightest little criticism- and the other half of the time she enjoys being sassy, rude, and disrespectful, not to mention the whiniest little brat! scream She tries to be an individual (she is obsessed with Captain Jack Sparrow, and pirates in general) but comes home crying when she is made fun of by her hick and redneck classmates. That, and she is a sleepwalker- I've caught her roaming the house late at night; she seems like she's just waking up after a nightmare, but she's really sleepwalking.
Lock, the older brother of the two, is just… confused well, he's hard to explain and even harder to live with. He was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome a few years back (Aspergers is a form of Autism, meaning that my brother is emotionally very immature for his age, despite being very smart, and that communication is difficult for him- you practically have to be wearing a Greek theatre mask for him to understand your emotions) and I suppose most of his annoying habits stem from that. He has a list of foods that he will eat, and it's getting thinner all the time (It's no use trying to force him to eat the other food- he's impossible!), so babysitting him is horrible, and not only that, but he seems to make a hobbly of finding the stupidest television characters he can and imitating them. His current favorite is Ed from Ed, Edd, and Eddy, but it used to be SpongeBob- he will shout nonsensical things for hours in his Ed-voice, and if either Shock or Barrel tries, he will insult them and declare that they're no good. He also harbours an unreasoning hatred for Barrel, basically blaming him for everyhting that goes wrong, or unaccording to plan- a perfect scapegoat. He constantly mumbles under his breath, and is completely disrespectful and rude, especially towards me, and even has tried to boss me around! scream Me! And I am five years older than him, the stupid little snot! Every other word that comes out of his mouth is a nasty, unpleasant comment, usually about Barrel.
So anyhow, Lock fights with Barrel, and makes Shock cry, and Shock mocks or mimicks Barrel, and Barrel is explosively violent towards Lock and Shock, and steals or breaks Lock's things. Pleasant, no? rolleyes Add in the fact that about 70% of the time they're screaming at each other in their horrible little voices (I will rejoice the day Lock's voice changes and he hits puberty) and you can see where some of my misanthropy comes from. Honestly, the way they fight, I'm wishing that it was like in Highlander, and they could finally just kill each other off, because "There can only be one!" Or none. I'd love to be an only child again. crying I wasn't this horrible when I was a kid- I entertained myself by reading- something which Lock, Shock, and Barrel do little of.
I hate children, I really do.
Taltalnen · Sun Jul 23, 2006 @ 09:21am · 0 Comments |
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scream I hate stickshifts!
Cars with manual transmissions are redundant, pointless, and in other ways just plain baka. I write this because I have to learn how to drive a stickshift, and I hate it! No offense to all the lunatics and normal people out there who actually like to drivesticks, but I'd take an automatic any day.
And yes, I must learn how to drive a stick, because sticks are the only cars that my family has and are willing to let me drive. We've got two manuals, and two automatics, but one of the automatics is my stepfather's company van, and he won't let me drive it because if anything happens (even so much as a scratch) he is held accountable,and his insurance goes up. The other auto is an absolutely freakin enormous Chevy van (not a minivan, but something the size of a short bus).
Then we have the two sticks. The first one is my car- an '84 compact my mother has owned since she was in grad school- which has been sitting in the garage for 10 years. I get it handmedown, but it doesn't work, and needs extensive repairs before it will even run! The other, and the only car with which I am allowed to practice driving, is the little Honda that has no air conditioning. mad (See previous post as to the importance of a/c) stressed
I swear, one day, I will sell/scrap my car and get myself an automatic! scream Preferably a VW Bug! blaugh
Taltalnen · Fri Jul 21, 2006 @ 07:09am · 0 Comments |
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Wow, first post in my journal… surprised
I think that the first thing I'd like to say is that one of the things that I am most grateful for is air conditioning.
Yes, the wondrous a/c. I am a cold weather person, and right now it is 109 degrees outside, so tis torture to even stick my head out the door. Not only that, but it's HUMID scream I hate humidity- it makes bad situations worse and exists to make me scream. The only thing I hate worse than being hot is being hot and feeling sticky. gonk Gross. (well, I hate spiders worse, but spiders are the incarnations of evil upon this earth) When it's hot and humid, you can't breathe, if anybody touches you you feel like they're trying to roast you till you're crispy and well done, and you don't want to do anything but lie around, and even then, you're miserable because you are on fire- feels worse than a temperature, and your brain is boiling, and you want to just fill a Jacuzzi full of ice cubes and lie in it, but you won't cause you know that the first cubes will melt and be warm by the time you're ready to get in. Bleah.
So I really love a/c. It helps keep me sane throughout the summer months- if not for the a/c, I would not be able to think, reason, let alone write, and would probably have killed several people by now. My brain shuts down completely in hot weather, and so I get really grumpy and easily ticked, and since one of my personalties is quite violent, I take out my frustration and pain (because overheating is actually painful) on the first stupid person I see. evil
heh heh heh, twisted I hate stupid people.
But anyway, I do love air conditioning. heart
Taltalnen · Thu Jul 20, 2006 @ 09:09am · 0 Comments |
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