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Stephano's Journal of Spoofy Fanfics and Drawings!
This journal's showing off some of my writing and drawing talent, and I just wanted to share it with you. Come on in and read it, my parodic oneshots are garunteed a laugh or two!
Harry Potter and the Misuse of Spells Chapter 4
Harry Potter and the Misuse of Spells

SH: Here’s chapter 4 of the HP and the MoS story, hope you all will enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I do not own any other pop culture references used in this story, I only own the plot. J.K. Rowling owns the characters, spells, and books.

Chapter 4: The Misuse of Avada Kedavra

The next spell that we are going to see is Avada Kedavra, so let’s check on Voldemort to see it goes for him.

-In Voldemort’s evil of lair of evilness-

Voldemort stood over a cowering death eater and had had his wand raised, “What did I tell you about having crack parties at my lair, and I’m not present?” Voldemort asked while twirling his wand in his right hand and paced around the new recruit. “That you would kill us all...” the death eater whimpered as he stared at the damp stone floor.

“You know, do you remember when I said I’d kill you last if I ever had to kill my death eaters?” Voldemort asked as he stopped twirling his wand, “T-that’s right, master, I remember you did say that.”

“Well...” Voldemort stopped pacing and looked his minion right in the face, “I lied.” The recruit’s eyes widened before Voldemort shouted, “Avada Kedavra!” Then he fell limply to the floor. After Voldemort was done, his eyes started to shift back and forth, and he then started to go through the recruit’s pockets, “Let’s see, what do we have here? Some gum, oh, its juicy fruit, uh, 3 Galleons, 1 Sickle, and 5 Knuts, a pocket knife? .... Anyway, some string, a picture of his slut of a girlfriend, a coupon for a Macy’s gift sale, and a Death Eater Playboy Magazine?!” Bellatrix was on the cover wearing nothing but a robe, and was holding a wand, casting Morsmordre, and the skull was to her left, and the snake circled around her body covering her private parts.

Voldemort got up and started walking towards the exit, and as he opened it he shouted, “Bellatrix! What the hell is this supposed to be?!” Yeah, to say that Voldy was pissed, would be a little bit of an understatement.

Well, as you can see, the Avada Kedavra spell works just fine so I guess there was no point in even doing this chapter... But, then again, there was that one time in Hogwarts...

-In Gryffindor Common Room-

Lavender, Hermione, Parvati, and Ginny were sitting on the couch discussing the upcoming test in McGonagall’s class, “I hope we don’t have to transfigure a rat into a cup again!” Parvati complained, “Oh, now it wasn’t that bad.” Hermione said. “Well, at least we don’t have to do anything crazy for Professor Moody’s class...” Parvati said.

Suddenly, Lavender got an idea, “I’ll be back down in a quick second.” “Okay, Lav.” Hermione said.

Lavender ran upstairs to her and her roommates’ room quickly, “Geez, she was in a rush.” “Yeah.”

Once Lavender got to her room she shut the door and rummaged through a drawer trying to find a mirror, but that took her a couple of minutes to do so.

“You know, Lavender is taking a little longer than I thought she would.” Ginny said, “Yeah, I’ll go check on her.” Parvati said as she got up and walked up the stairs.

Back with Lavender, she was looking in the mirror with her back facing the door, ‘I wonder...’ She thought. She then raised her wand to point at the mirror, and then she started to think about the moments in her life that made her feel anger and hatred before she shouted, “Avada Kedavra!” That’s when Parvati came walking through the door and said, “Lav, what’re you doi –“ “GAH!” Lavender shouted. She turned the mirror at the last second when the green light shot out of her wand, bounced off the mirror and hit Parvati.


That was sound that Parvati’s body made when it hit the floor, “Oh, bugger... Oh, bugger...” Was all Lavender said as she dropped her mirror and started to pace the floor.

“Hmm, now Parvati’s taking too long, I guess I’ll go check on them.” Hermione said, “Okay, Herms, but I’m just gonna leave and head down to the library.” Ginny replied, “Okay.” Hermione said as she walked up the stairs to her room.

“Hey, Lavender, Parvati, is everything ok –“ Hermione stopped midway through her sentence before she opened the door to her room. “Good lord, Lavender, what’re you doing to Parvati?!” Hermione shouted. Apparently Lavender was shoving Parvati’s limp body into her trunk. Lavender froze as she stared at Hermione. She stopped moving Parvati’s body and walked over to Hermione after she shut the door, “Listen, and listen well,” Lavender grabbed Hermione by her shirt collar and pulled her down, “You don’t tell anyone about this, okay?” “What did you do to her?!” “I accidentally hit Parvati with Avada Kedavra when I tried to see if it would work on me if I was using a mirror.”

“........” Was all Hermione said before she spoke again, “Are you serious?!” “Yes, I’m serious now I need you to –“ “Vermillion.” Hermione and Lavender very faintly heard a voice say the password to the common room and were quiet to hear who it was, “Hello, Professor McGonagall.” “BLOODY HELL!” Lavendar and Hermione shouted as they both rushed over to Parvati’s trunk and began to push shove her body into it.

–Tap, tap, tap-

Were the sound of McGonagall’s shoes walking up the stairs towards their room, “Oh, bloody hell...!” Hermione whispered as she tried to shove Parvati’s leg into the trunk. Once they heard McGonagall’s foot step on the last stair, they had successfully shoved Parvati’s body into the trunk and were now sitting on it, looking around the room innocently as McGonagall opened the door.

McGonagall noticed the girls were acting strangely, seeing as they were sitting on a trunk looking around the room like they were three year-olds in a candy store, “Um, Miss Granger, Miss Brown, is there anything wrong?” McGonagall asked raising an eyebrow at the girls. They both shook their heads, “No!” Hermione answered quickly, “Yeah, what Hermione said, nothing wrong at all! I mean it’s not like we shoved a dead body in the trunk- OW!” Lavender shouted as Hermione elbowed her in the side, “I mean shoved some old clothes in the trunk... Hehehe...” Lavender said nervously.

“Well, okay then...” McGonagall said as she left the girls, shutting the door. Once they heard McGonagall exit, Hermione and Lavender turned towards each other, “We have to get of the body tonight.” Hermione said, Lavender nodded, “Agreed.” Then they both shook their hands, sealing the deal.

-Later that night-

Hermione and Lavender could be seen, very faintly in the dark, dragging the trunk across the ground towards the Black Lake. “Okay, we’re almost there...” Hermione whispered. Once she and Lavender neared the shore, they saw the Kraken (It’s either a Kraken or a Giant Squid, I can’t remember which...) lift its tentacle out of the water and slam it down on the water’s surface. “Okay, on three, we throw the trunk using a levitating spell, alright?” Hermione said, Lavender nodded once again in agreement, “Three... two... one!” “I thought you said we were gonna throw it on three.” Lavender spoke, “It doesn’t matter, just throw the damn thing for Merlin’s sake!” “OKAY!” They threw the trunk with all their might, and the monster’s tentacle reached out once again to snatch it out of the sky and drag it down.

Suddenly, they heard a bark, “Oh, no it’s Hagrid!” Lavender said, “Just stay quiet and let me do the talking...” Hermione whispered as they stood, waiting for Hagrid to come walking up with Fang. Once he was near Hagrid spoke, “’ermione? Lavender? Wha’re you two doing ‘ere?” “We were getting some... uh, herbs for Professor Snape’s class!” Hermione replied. “Well, you two should’ve done tha’ earlier, now come on, let’s ge’ you two back ta bed.” Hagrid said turning around, lighting the way back to Hogwarts with his lamp. “Okay, Hagrid.” The two replied as they crossed their fingers behind their back...


SH: And there, my wizards and witches, is Chapter 4 of The Misuse of Spells. Up next is Wingardium Leviosa, which I’m sure that everyone here knows what that spell does! So I’ll see you all next time! biggrin













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