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Home, it may or may not be what you expect. I’ll let you listen in on the conversations. That’ll make things easier to understand because I don’t fully understand my self.
SMASH. Another glass plate bits the dust, due to my father’s anger. Food that was on that plate along with the glass shard covers my kitchen floor.
“Fiona!” nothing more. My mother’s name long with his anger shouted his thoughts.
“What? Is it my fault that our finances are going down the drain?” the father replies
“Maybe if you didn’t all your money on useless material we wouldn’t be here!”
“And you don’t call you’re T.V stupid?! Plah-lease!”

I ran up to room like always, I locked the door and put on my music. I listened to anything loud that will block out the sound of my parents arguing. They have been arguing for a year now, my father is businessman and lately our debts have risen and he tries to blame it on my mother, I don’t know if anyone is at fault, but I try not to think about it too much. I just close my eyes and think of my past loved-one, Burk. Burk was first boyfriend, and so far my only boyfriend. He was, well, he was himself. He was the guy that no one would really understand and I was the only one who could, he only maybe one or two friends and he lived with his widower father. He not your average kid, but a freak either. Look at me, I’m crying, that’s how much I miss him. Besides listening to music, I try to remember our times together. We both liked the winter; those were the seasons of my most cherished memories with him. I can still hear his voice in my head…

“Sing from a whisper and you float from a leap, I trust you enough with a secret to keep.” He whispered in into my ear from behind, as he would wrap his arm around my waist, but in a non-sensual way.
“ Burk, where you come up with that?” I smiled at him.
“ By looking at you Aponi, by-just –looking-at-you.” He replied as he tapped the tip of my nose. “Tell me again why I love you.” He unwraps his arms and holds my hands.
“Because I’m…” I’m cut off
“Because you’re so warm and light.” I turn round and lightly kiss him.
“Come on.” I have him turn around as he holds my hand and we walk down the cement walkway beside the lake. It was November--it was mid--afternoon. The rays of the sun paint light shades of violet and pinks. The cloud have melted away into the sky and looked like upside down tundra. Heavy loads of snow migrated from the heavens the past week. It engulfed every street, sidewalk and rooftop, but in moderation, just enough to admire with little annoyance. This was my favorite time of day—it was the perfect time of day. It was the time where you see equivalent images of the fore-coming night and voyaging day at eh same time.
“Is this why you wanted me to walk with you?” I was looking up at the sky, but I got no response from him.
“Doesn’t it sometime feel like the universe doesn’t exist, like this is all there is?”
“Then there would be no sun.”
“Right, but do get where I’m coming from?”
“Yeah Burk, I do.” He was such a dork, but I didn’t care. He was one of the sweetest boys I ever met, I was lucky—he was my first real love and no simple infatuation. His black hair and crystal blue eyes were not what attracted me; it was his persona of love and seriousness, he very patient and always tried to keep the peace.
We just walked for probably an hour or more, I wasn’t keeping track. The darkness was setting in and my perfect time of the day was ending. He looked at his watch and we turned around.
“It’s getting dark, let’s go.”
“Where? Home?”
“Where else.”
“Why? Can’t I go back with you?”
“No Aponi, you know I would, but my dad doesn’t trust a girl to sleep over.”
“I guess I understand.”
“You’re just saying that.”
“You’re mother and father have know me for fifteen years and we’ve been going out for almost six years now. Why don’t your parents trust me?”
“Look, it’s nothing personal. Can you just bear with me?” he pleaded with me, but I gave no reply, I just lightly kissed him again. He put his arm around me and put me in his car, down the street.

Burk died in a snowstorm on his way to go on a trip to visit his aunt. The snow blinded his vision and went off a snow bank into the nearby trees; the impact was too much for Burk. The memory fades into rest and then into sleep, I continue to seem him in my dreams.
The next day was cold--it was the fall season. The sky was pale; the wind blew vehemently at my coat. I was walking on a forest path home. It’s a short cut not many people use--I was alone today. A fog was coming out of the trees, yeah, coming out of the tress. I was a bit freaked out, but I kept on walking. After a few minutes, the fog thickened intensely and I could see the path, but I didn’t need to see the path to know where I’m going.

Then soon out of the fog came a silhouette, I slender body walking with something that seemed like a basket in her arms. The fog gets thicker and thinker, her appearance fades but I can hear coming my way. I stop; it’s so heavy and so surrounding that I can’t tell exactly where I stand. But out of nowhere the person bumps into me.

“Pardon me.” The person said in a calm tone.
“Sorry, I didn’t see you.” I replied
“Quiet alright, no serous damage.” She says as she gets back up.

As I got up, my hand felt something sticky. I move it to the side and I end up cutting my hand, I yelped.

“What’s the matter, did you harm yourself? Here, let me see.”

I got up and give her my hand. She places her palm over it, not touching it, and instantly it is healed.

“Wha-wha…?” I was stunned
“Hmmm, I still feel bad for running into you.” She bends down and makes a scooping motion over the glass and stick stuff. When she gets back up, a jar full of yellow stuff appears in her hands. It must of came out of her basket when we bumped into each other.

“Here, you can have this.” she says
“What is it?” I reply.
“It’s a special brew of nectars that I make. Do you like to be happy?”
“Yes.”
“You’ll like this then, but I warn you, this is a very potent concoction. One spoonful relieves pain, another makes you happy, three spoonfuls relaxes you, but do not take a fourth spoonful right away.”
“Why?”
“You will enter a sleep that is nonreversible. You will sleep until your final breath.” She then turn around and walked off into the fog.
“Hey wait a minute!” I chased after her but she was the gone, the fog immediately let up too. She just vanished.

I get home, it was still, there was no arguing, I crept in so I would no disturb the peace. My father was in his office on the computer and my mother was out. I went up to my room with the jar and sat the floor. I opened it and took a whiff. It smelled like flower but at the same time, bitter honey. I dipped my finger and tasted it. It was like sweet milk. I stuck my middle and index finger in the nectar and took some more. About what I thought was a spoonful. I swallowed it and immediately I felt light as air. It was such an incomprehensible feeling. I dipped my fingers again and right after, I started laughing. I chuckled so hard that my father told me to shut up. I didn’t stop but I did quiet down.

This nectar was amazing, I kept it too myself. I would run down the forest short cut every for the next few days so I could go home and have some more. Then I began to jitter in school just because in wanted to go home. I looked like a freak, but I didn’t care, I had my nectar. I would be happy everyday, dancing around to music and just smiling, I think even in my sleep.

It was great, I was happy until I saw that I was running out and I didn’t know where to find that lady. I bugged out, I was freaking out! I stashed away the nectar so I could save it only for a special moment. I should of just stopped eating it. I was drained every day now, it took me more time to get home than usual and that angered my parents. My grades were slipping, I was sleeping restlessly and it’s all thanks to that stuff. I thought it could get any worse, and then it happened one day. I had found out that Burk didn’t died in an accident--he was murdered. I saw it on the news, they apprehended the murderer, he admitted killing a boy on the road and stealing his car. I didn’t believe him at first, but then he pointed out his picture and recited his that he had learned from Burk’s driver’s license. I cried and cried, I could accept that he died by nature’s hand but not by another man’s. I ran outside to my back yard and wept and woed heavily I cried for a hour. I didn’t know what else was going on.

Apparently my father arrived shortly after I went outside. He was watching T.V and my mother started arguing again.
“HAL! ENOUGH WITH THIS MINDLESS COMTRAPTION!” I heard a slam, I ran back inside and saw that the T.V had fallen, probably my mother’s doing.

“THIS IS THE MONEY WASTER!”
“WHAT ABOUT YOUR LONG SHOWERS THAT RAISE THE WATER BILLS?!” they roared back and for, on and on in rapid fire. I couldn’t stand it anymore, I ran into my room with my hands on my ears. I yelled shut up over and over again. I stormed up the stairs and slammed the door. I pulled the nectar out and opened it. I laid on my bed crying with a smile on my face and the jar of nectar in my hand.

She said that four spoonfuls cause you to sleep forever, that means that I can dream forever. I took my fingers and took a spoonful amount and swallowed it. “One spoonful relieves pain.” I immediately stopped crying, but I was still full of woe. I took another. “Two spoonfuls makes you happy.” I thought of Burk. I heard my parents still arguing downstairs. The storm of anger intensified. Soon I saw bees buzzing and colors floating around her. Interesting smell entered my nose and I began to feel woozy. I dipped my fingers again.

“WHY DID I EVER MARY YOU, YOU ARE A IGNORANT, SELFISH, MEAN PIG!” mother yelled.

I closed my eyes, soon it would be all right and I can be happy forever. “Three spoonfuls relaxes you.” I swallowed the nectar and I dropped my head unto my pillow. I stared at a picture of Burk that was on the floor next to my bed. I cried and smiled even more. Then loud knocks shook my door.

“OPEN UP APONI! YOU AND ME ARE LEAVING NOW!” ordered my father. I took the picture and held it to my breast. I cried out for Burk to save me, hold my hand, and kiss me like he did once. I rimmed the jar and got the last bit of the nectar. I stared at it as I sucked up my tears. Then I heard his voice, Burk’s voice “ I’m here for you…” I replied back “ you and me will be together for ever, we will be through every moment. And then—I did it. I swallowed the last of the nectar and saw his face. I fell on the other side of my bed and hugged my pillow. I closed my eyes a breathed a heavy breath, then I said “Hello…” and fell into the sleep that I would never awake from. I left he world I knew behind. Now I can dream forever about whatever.
“What you doing?”
“Nothing Burk, come one, let’s go.” The journal I was talking to floated away and I took Burk’s hand and we walked away into the unknown dreamscape.
“Sing from a whisper and you float from a leap, I trust you enough with a secret to keep.” Will you keep my secret? - Aponi